Hamilton - Arrogant and ungrateful.

I read some daily sports news, and some of it just makes me dismayed. Lewis Hamilton - the guy everyone is talking about being the 'next big British sports icon' - has shown himself to me to be nothing more than someone who is arrogant and aloof and not grateful how lucky he is to have been brought up in an environment like he had. I thought I was the only one who thought so. Apparently not. His success seems to have 'polarized Britain' (amazing inflated language) according to Sportscenter, which I was pleasantly surprised to hear. But rightly so. His attitude and words have certainly tarnished many people's already bad impression of British as being a bunch of self-centred people who think, among other things, that winning football tournaments is their birthright because Britain is 'the home of football'. He had stolen the drivers' championship on the final lap due to a mistake (yes purely a mistake) by another driver. And his first words to the world, something along the lines of 'I'm amazed '(a la Ronaldo's "I always knew I would be the world's best I just didn't expect it to come so soon"), "Thank you team, thank you family", then "I'm gunning for more". Obviously, Felipe Massa was completely on the back of his mind.

Let's shift our minds back to wimbledon. 2007 - Federer beat Nadal in an epic 5-setter. Fed's first words - congrats Rafa, you could easily have won it. 2008 - Nadal beat Federer in an even closer 5-setter in what could well have been the best tennis match ever. Nadal's first words - "I want to congratulate Roger for playing such a great match", and Federer's first words in return - "Rafa's a deserving champion", which must have hurt his ego deeply. Tennis is so privileged to have 2 top-notch sportsmen at the top of their game (and I come to respect Rafa right up there with R Fed). I wonder if up-and-coming Andy Murray (another Brit) can match their humility. Golf has had Tiger. And if F1 is having Lewis, it is sad indeed.

Back to Lewis. I'm not even an avid follower of F1 or anything, but it is just so clear how pampered he is. With Alonso in the team last year, they both had feuds throughout the season and to be fair, Alonso is competitive but I don't think he for one went overboard. Yet through the British press, he was adjudged to be splitting Mc Claren apart and as expected, was asked to leave the team at the end of the season. Surprise surprise - Kimi Raikkonen won the 2007 championship but all everyone talked about was how "awfully close" Hamilton came. And I haven't even talked about Hamilton's on-the-track antics, he is one who drives like the track is made for one car only, but anyway, I think I've made my point. Let's look at Massa now. His first words were that the team did their best to support him and congratulations to Lewis. Very notably, he said "I know how to win and I know how to lose". Fair play to him, I think there is a lot more to be learnt from Massa's reaction, than from Hamilton setting his eyes on yet another milestone (that would be absolutely forgotten when I die). If you think about it, many sportsmen are remembered more for their character than their sporting feats. So too, will be how we would be remembered.

We have a lot to learn from people like Federer, like Nadal, like Massa, than from people like Hamilton. Losing reveals one's true colours, something I've been reminded of. Thinking of Arsenal now makes me sad. Sad at how weak the team is, as much as team spirit can make up there is no denying that. Sad at how Wenger, who has made so many right decisions during his legacy here, has made a big hash of it this time round. Yet, I think this is a time that people will see the true colours of Arsenal - and their fans too. As much as people complain about how the manager is not able to wake up to reality, we fans have to wake up too. Now is a time to see the true colours about everyone involved. Same thing too for anyone facing failure or disappointment, or even success or good fortune.

Will you be a Hamilton, or will you be a Federer / Nadal?

How far we've come.

Change of template is impending...Arsenal was and forever will be a big part of my life, but well, there are bigger stuff in store for me, and so I feel it should be reflected through my blog too. The team may be struggling on the pitch now, but the club still endears so fondly to me for one who sticks firmly to it's beliefs and philisophy, both in terms of football (joga bonito!) and in terms of the business side of the game-long term development, investing in youth rather than take massive debt to buy big-name players- and until that stops, Arsenal is the only club I truly support. (Btw, it has been reported that EPL clubs have amassed approx. 3b in debt. May not sound big but when you consider the most expensive transfer ever is still 'only' 34M odd for Robinho, you really wonder how on earth the debts came about!)

So anyway, this temporary skin of nothingness shall serve me for time being. When I look back, I will remember only the content, so let's focus on the content. Looking back on the year, time really flies. All those times I had pledged to myself that 'there would be sufficient time to brush up everything' - with regards to tidying up my room, arranging my notes, worksheets and other pieces of paper, getting myself fit and able to run faster (I haven't been able to), having a good grasp of most of the syllabus, backing up my files, and finishing the Bible - have all turned out to be empty talk. It's already October, in less than a month's time, 'A' levels will be begin; in less than 2 months' time, it will be over. So would the US presidency. So would (hopefully) the global financial-snowballed-into-economic crisis, and Arsenal's premier league hunt (hopefully not). It would seem that, the world would come to a standstill for many of us, very very soon. All the things we wanted to do, we would be able to finally do. Or would we?

Truth is, we never will. For it is human nature that makes us just always want to do that extra bit more, that time inevitably restricts. For the people in this world with 'good' time management, they manage to do a lot, and they will very likely achieve a lot, and they will be perceived as having been successful, when deep down, every one of them will have felt that there was that something extra that should have been done. I remember watching many people interviewed on TV programmes, mostly successful people, and when asked if there was something they could have changed about the way they spent their lives up prior to that day itself, there are of course the usual 'big mistakes' they made in the past, but by and large most of them would not change anything because of the experiences they have gone through, and the mistakes they've made have contributed to that experience. In a way, you have to agree with that - there is so much that can be changed, but if you had the opportunity to turn back time and change things, there would have been that extra thing that needed to be changed.

1. [Philippians 3:13] But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead

The past really doesn't matter as much anymore. I know of a lot of people who hang on to their past. If their past was bad, they always like to refer back to it and show how much they have grown since then. I think it's a great reminder and comforter when they need it, but really, we should always be looking ahead. Then there are people who have had an excellent past, and they pride themselves on it. It's perfectly permissible, so long as they themselves don't get caught up in it that it distracts them from looking ahead and striving for their best possible future.

Noticed I've used the word 'they' above. This has been something on my mind too, and admittedly I think I'm very guilty of both in various aspects of my life. I always think about when I had the first breakthrough in an area, and then think forward from there, and I realise that very often, nothing really follows it much. And in light of what I've said, I think it speaks of me being quite the hypocrite. Argh, placing God's agenda as my first priority seems to be a basic problem that always comes back to be something I'm guilty of. This month will be a good opportunity for me to tackle it head on again. Once again, being a CL has been such an undeserved privilege through these times, it has ensured that I'm very quickly put back on track everytime I lose my focus. I think a good judge of a leader is how one would react if he/she didn't have the position or isn't recognised as one. I'm pretty sure Gallas would sulk till the cows come home. Stefani Schaeffer did not, despite being on a show where it is so tempted to overdo things will attempting to impress your team and your boss. And because of that, she won the Apprentice. I think in the next month or do, as a j2 I will be given quite a lot of leeway. Studying will become a big part of my ministry, and I will very likely not be pushed or challenged as much as I have been. It is all quite scary, and I don't think past experience counts for anything. It will be an all new battle, and a very tough one. Inevitably, I will come out of saying I could have handled my time better during this period. But I don't want to be sorry to myself for bringing others down with me. It's really all up to myself now, and I'd best start preparing my heart right now.

I think my heart can be described as having goosebumps as I type this - a sense of anxiety tinged with that of thrill and excitement. It's like the day before an exam. You just can't get it out of your head that you can't bring yourself to do anything until it's over. So bring on the next month man!

**On a side note, here's another of the type of articles that really sparked my interest in economics, statistics, and to a certain extent, psychology. Whoever's reading this, let's not stop fighting the fight! Know what you're fighting for, be it As, uni stuff, NS stuff, outreaching, and forever remind yourself of it everytime doubt and/or the thought of giving up creeps in.

A SAD, SAD DAY FOR FOOTBALL.

So today was transfer deadline day across European markets. And if anything it has really plunged football into deeper, darker realms. Contracts no longer mean much, player power has increased to an extent that is way too unhealthy. If there was anything that was positive about it, it is that Arsenal are not involved in any of this craziness.

Firstly, Berbatov, who was still contracted to Tottenham, insisted on a move to Man United. Make no mistake, I think it's great that a player has ambitions to achieve greater successes, but he should have considered that when he signed a contract a couple of years back. If a club wants a player, it's up to the club, not the player, to take the initiative. The player of course can express interest as well, but he should still always honour his contract at the same time. Drogba was stretching it when he kept insisting that he wanted to leave Chelsea, but at least he didn't let it affect his performances on the pitch - he got them to a champions league final. Berbatov however, was, as the press likes to use all too often, "unsettled". For a long time, Man United had been unable to match Tottenham's valuation of Berbatov. Yet, the constant speculation around it meant that Tottenham's plans were completely disrupted. Being the star player of the team, it meant that whether or not he would be playing for Tottenham next season would have a huge influence of the manager's plans and strategy. And it showed - 2 defeats in 2 against 2 teams that had far fewer quality players. As an Arsenal fan I'm laughing away, but as someone who respects the ethics of football I feel for them. And just today, Berbatov has left for Man United. Sure, they got the replacements in, they got the money too. All 30.5M pounds of it (which reminds me of Shevchenko). But it was because had they not made the deal, they would have been left with a useless and unmotivated Berbatov. The ridiculously huge amount paid is a sad thing in itself, what was worst was the way Berbatov acted throughout this whole scenario, and how his club was simply powerless despite the contract they had on him.

Berbatov is not the only one, of course. United's own Cristiano Ronaldo was subject to ridiculous treatment by the Spanish press and Real Madrid. The way the Spanish do it, is that they relay the news that they want a transfer for a player to the tabloids, and then let the tabloids do the rest - publish twisted translations of interviews, which results in a chain reaction of press speculation and unsettling of the players. Ronaldo isn't the only one. For years they tried the same trick on Vieira and Henry. Well Barcelona did get Henry in the end, but by then he was in decline already. It is just miserable the way the Spanish press do it, with regards to transfers. The fact that Ronaldo did not successfully move to Real Madrid delights me, ironically, despite the fact that he will rip premier league defences apart on the way another title. So, player power and influence is getting ridiculous now. It seems now player can be more important than a club, even for the biggest club in the world. That's sad.

I haven't even talked about the money. Clubs, agents are greedier now. That I can understand. But players now have fallen down that pathway. For them, ambition is now based on how much they are going to earn. Case in point no.1: Andrei Arshavin. He was a huge star at Euro 2008, and was wanted by top clubs in Europe, including Barcelona, Tottenham, and Arsenal. He had the choice to leave - his manager had let him. And yet, because he insisted on a transfer fee high enough that he would receive a significant amount of compensation from it, any move failed to materialize. And now, he is left with Zenit St. Petersburg which is no doubt a decent club, but his potential will never be stretched or realized compared to if he had joined one of those clubs above.

Transfer fees are now in excesses of 25-30M. This year it's shocking the amount some mediocre clubs have paid for mediocre players. Andy Johnson to Fulham for 13M, Jo for 18M, Robbie Keane for 20M odd, all sounds just utterly crazy to me. They are good players, but certainly no where near the amount the clubs have paid for them. And now there's a new player on the block. Just when we thought Man City would run of cash after the political trouble that Thaksin is faced with, in comes a UAE consortium and right away, money is being spent like Middle-East oil, like Beijing's fireworks. And they've got Robinho, who earlier in the day insisted he wanted a move to Chelsea (yet another case of player power). So much so for wanting to play for Scolari's new "samba-style" team when the money is put on the table. Of course the excuse of "Premier League experience being one that cannot be turned down" will pop up. This is exactly similar to Ryan Babel last year, who said he dreamed of playing for Arsenal, and would even wait till an offer is made for him, until Liverpool came in.

At the end of all this, I am glad to be an Arsenal fan. The supposed class that Manchester and Liverpool was assumed to have, that Chelsea did not seems to be eroding fast. While I am of course frustrated that the squad is severely weak, it was probably because there was no one which was available at a reasonable price. We might well finish 5th or 6th this year with the riduculous sums other clubs have spent, but at least we will have that surplus which will lead to good long-run growth. All this, while I am still waiting for a "tragedy story" to appear when one of these owners lose their patience when they realize there is no way that fans can be satisfied except for more and more big-money transfers. I read that for the first time on Sky Sports, fans are calling for Wenger to leave. So be it then, fickle-minded fans. We will have lost many supporters I feel, because of our transfer activity (or rather, lack of) this term, but at least we have stuck to the very principles and foundations that have brought us from a no-name club one that is top-8 in Europe and the one that reaps the highest year-on-year profits, even after excluding transfer fees.

On a final note, Fabregas has been a fine example for everyone. I don't know how significant his 8-year contract might be if one day, he decides he wants to move on, but for now, I think he deserves so much admiration and praise for the attitude and gratefulness he shows. The fact that he is one of the best midfielders in the world is but a bonus.

WIMBLEDON FINAL

WIMBLEDON FINAL.

It was for sure the most exciting match I've ever watched and probably the same can be said of most people in my generation. Whether it signals a changing of the guard in tennis remains to be seen, but the match has to be the focus now.

For one, it started at 9.30pm here (2pm in London), and ended at around 9pm in London (4am here). I did sleep awhile after the first rain delay, but thank goodness I suddenly woke up in time with the gut feeling that I was going to witness something special. I was rooting for Federer all the way, but towards the end, I was feeling sympathy for Nadal too, if he had lost he would have needed a long time to recover. As it was, Nadal won, but Federer showed his true colours and why I will continue to admire him.

He showed amazing grit and determination. At the first rain delay, he was 6-4, 6-4, 4-5 down with Nadal to serve. Nadal was playing fine stuff, but he had been completely out-of-sorts, the windy conditions wrecking havoc on his game. When he went in to the locker room, he could have just said to himself, 'I've blown my chance this year. No one comes back against Nadal from 2 sets down, I could just go out there and lose the 3rd set and the match in a few minutes time and reflect on what went wrong' But no, that was not Federer. He came back a changed man mentally, and he never once buckled under the immense pressure of losing one would be if he/she was on the brink of defeat in a final, as he was. Nadal was playing so well, he was overwhelming Federer. But Federer hung on. He struggled, but he struggled powerfully. He took the 3rd set by a whisker, and in the 4th set, produced some stunning shots in the tie-breaker to level the match at 2 sets apiece, including a graceful backhand pass on match point. He brought the match into a decider despite being totally outplayed on many rallies by Nadal. He was far from his best, but he never once doubted himself and used whatever form he had that day to the best of it. Pity there was no 5th set tie-breaker.

Federer was also very humble in defeat. Anyone could see after he lost that 5th set, that he was totally broken inside. Yet, he maintained dignity in defeat. There was so many things he could have blamed. The weather, the winds, they were against him. Towards the end the light was so bad, that surely would have affected him. Time after time Nadal took so much time in between points, more than the alloted 20 seconds, and it surely interrupted his momentum, but the umpire did nothing. If each of these factors had not taken place, he would surely have won. As it was, he never used any of them as an excuse. He praised Nadal and called him a deserving champion, something which, while many of us would agree, must have been hard for him to admit.

While Nadal would very likely take up the no.1 mantle soon, I think it's time people recognise Federer not just for the great tennis player he is, but the great person he is as well. History may remember him for winning 12 (and counting) grand slams, but I, and others who have witnessed his matches and post-match comments, would remember him for his gracefulness and humility.

I may not be able to emulate his tennis, but I would surely give my all to emulate his off-the-court qualities.

Well, that's it for tennis for now, until Australian Open and Wimbledon next year, as those are the only two tournaments where it is convenient to watch tennis. But wait, I won't be able to watch next year because of NS. Hopefully this year's spectacle will never be matched again. As for now, it's all geared on studying, serving, and sleeping 24/7. Until the BPL starts again. Thinking about it, the BPL would start approx. when the restructuring project reaches it deadline. Let it be a perfect way to reward myself.

It's only six weeks since the holidays, and two since camp, but boy oh boy has it been such a wonderful six weeks of growth for me.

If I could trace it back, there were two highlights - the JC district prayermeet, and camp (of course!).

During the prayermeet, I really felt God move in me as everyone prayed for the few of us to step up to be CLs. yeah. It was just so real, the way he pointed out that I would have to change so many aspects of my life. I went home, and for a couple of days after that, I really reflected on the prayermeet, and God really elaborated upon a lot of things. I drew up a list of things which I would need to improve on, which included ridding the predispositions I have of some people, better time management, and also outreaching more. It may sound like the typical stuff any average person could improve on, but the difference was that I had set many specific targets, and placed many light sticks to follow in order to tread the right path. And, most importantly, I was a lot more determined to do it, not because being a CL requires a lot more responsibility than just a seed member (which it does of course), but because God really spoke into me and placed a burden for many many of my weaknesses, with the need to improve them, as well as for other things of this world, people, events. what have you. It was building, I think. There was unit meeting about developing a vision and conviction, and I really wanted one, but it just didn't come to me explicitly in the few days after. But then, many things just came together in the few days after that district prayermeet.

And then there was OASIS camp. It was the first camp where I was able to attend all 4 days of it. And it was only after that I had realised how much I had missed out during the 4 previous camps. The 3rd night was indeed the climax, but it was only because the previous nights had praise and worship, sermons, prayer time, and most importantly response time, to establish the platform for the 3rd night. And this was what I had missed out, and why my 3rd nights at other camps wasn't as impactful. The heart, soul, and mind need to be built up strong.

Camp was also a time where we got to know new people placed in our caregroups due to restructuring, and also, being a CL. In a way, the more I think about it, the more it is apparent that all these roles are really privileges, and not by default, or based on any merit or skills, but really by God's grace. And I suppose, having reached that conclusion, there is no need to worry about it any more. Throughout the camp I have grown lots, be it from the praise and worship, the workshops, or the teachings. And, of course, the games as well. If it's something not apparent enough already in this world, it's the increasing enthusiasm and potential that the youth hold for the future, something displayed very clearly during the war games. Hats off to games comm. for their planning and improvising to enhance the experience of camp. Also, the games were the perfect example of 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 which was touched on 3rd night,about the importance of having a winning mentality.

Another thing I learnt was about the camp culture of staying up late, and having good heart-to-heart conversations with our fellow members of Hope. Okay, maybe night 1's fellowship by watching Netherlands beat Italy wasn't exactly appropriate, but the rest of the night time was really fellowship to the max as the schedule wrote. So, yeah, this is another aspect of camp I had never experienced before. And I find the time really flies in the night and before you know it it's almost 5. Inevitably, this meant sleepy moments but amazingly I was focused during the night teachings and response, and when we gathered as a caregroup, and then in our schools for sharing.

Finally, this camp has impacted many lives. I see very clearly how some people in the group have really changed. During camp, people are so open, so honest, and so willing to improve. But I have to be selfish here, I want to be able to proudly declare that I have grown more than them. Not for the sake of comparing, but because I think I warrant it. And such a declaration can only be possible if I'm not a hypocrite, if my actions live up to my promises.

So all in all, the next 58 days of this restructuring is going to be tough all the way. The days are evil, so evil, they are numbered. But through the camp-revitalized ca2, I see a group of people who are all on fire for cg08 already, with little problems of committment and priorities. It's just like 07-08's Man United, a team of not just 11 top players, but a bench full of quality and able to do just as well. And the thing about that team was, the captain's role was no doubt important, but not the main reason why they were successful. That accolade goes to the mutual competition that the squad had which drove everyone to keep doing better. This coming from an Arsenal pureblood.

The skills of group members will improve, but that comes naturally if everyone understands why they need to have those skills.

So, while I haven't had the best preparation for the just-finished CT2, and so my results would probably not match those of previous tests, that is not the concern because I've put in effort for the gold medal that lasts eternally and will not tarnish one bit. And I am sure because of this, the upturn will come as these achievements will become stepping stones for the vision that we have.

I was absolutely delighted when Arsenal completed a season unbeaten in 03-04, as when Federer beat Nadal in last year's Wimbledon. Even more delighted was I when I got back prelim results and O level results. But come the end of 58 days later, I think the delight I experience will top all that. Not because Arsenal would be top of the league, Federer won wimbledon again and I would be fully prepared to ace prelims (which hey, are already very likely...=the first two at least, haha), but because these 58 days are going exciting days of outreaching, outreaching, outreaching, discipleship, leading, and learning. And stepping way out of my comfort zone than I could ever fathom.

DRAWING PARALLELS.

Just read an article in SATURDAY. It was an interview with a Nobel laureate which was very insightful, it was a pity its title choose to emphasize the fact that he got a D in chemistry in class (like how uncommon is it to see successful people have a bad start, oh well).

Anyway, he is Professor Peter Courtland, and he is very passionate about promoting science among the young. Among his responses, he mentioned that he offered to trade in his Nobel Prize for two weeks on The Colbert Report. Why? Because the show is watched by throngs of people that he would have been able to give a great exhibition of science to the public, and dispel many predispositions which young people had towards science. He also said he considered running for the Senate in 2004, so that he could make a difference with such a position of influence. He also advised scientists who have already reached the upper echelons of science to have a go at politics, for similar reasons.

And throughout reading the article, Xiang's talk with the unit about a month ago was at the back of my head. For the professor, he wanted to use platforms where he could influence to make a difference, to show many people the side of science they never knew. Likewise, if God's people were to hold such positions of influence or publicize themselves through mediums which have very wide coverages, imagine what a difference they could make!

Regarding mediums which have wide reaches, there are many. There is MTV, which Xiang talked about in her vision. Of course, TV shows are one of the best examples of such mediums. Why was Singapore 's video clip to be shown before the IOC made their decision to give the 2012 Olympics to London treated so seriously? It was because virtually the whole world's eyes were on Singapore. Yes, eagerly anticipating that decision, but the fact that the clip was scheduled to be aired just before that made all the difference, with reports saying that the video clip is worth billions in advertising terms.

Of course, the medium which stirs up much interest in me is that of sports. In particular, soccer. Many of us just have an inherent liking for one sport or another. And even though we only get to watch it on TV, we are awed by it. For example, I probably couldn't stand a moment away from the TV if Arsenal were to be playing in the champions league final (which they SHOULD be, but nevertheless this is irrelevant here). And football stars are huge idols which people look up to nowadays. When Drogba told people in his homeland, Cote de' Voire, to stop the internal civil strife and unite as one to support the nation's football team, the people listened - and the conflict is now reduced dramatically. When Zidane delivered that shocking headbutt in the world cup final, people criticized him badly for the negative impact it would have on audiences. (and, people DO follow him, just look at what Nani did last week). And even more recently, in TIME magazines list of 100, there was but one footballer. It wasn't Drogba. It obviously wasn't Zidane, and it wasn't Cristiano Ronaldo either.

It was Kaka. And yes, he is indeed one of the most skillful players on the planet, but that wasn't the only reason he got into the list. It is his exploits outside of football, that he has used his status of being of the best players on the planet to achieve, that has got him onto the list. For one, he is an ambassador of the UN, influencing many people in poverty. And of course, he is a very evangelical christian. Apart from the joy of seeing Liverpool lose, I learnt so much more from last year's champions league final. After Milan won, he took of his shirt to reveal the words 'I belong to Jesus', and the following quote from a premier league player says it all:

I might question whether soccer stadiums are the right venue for promoting religion, but in an age in which many professional athletes care more about cars, women and controversy, it's refreshing to see one who is committed to having a positive impact on the world around him.

It is indeed so refreshing to see someone like Kaka. Now he just needs to make the decision to come to Arsenal, the team who plays football in its purest form. =p

Anyway, I have cited so many examples of people making the best of their status to influence others. And this is really something which I want to emulate. Right now, of course, my heart is saying football is the medium in which I want to cause much influence. But how? I have no idea. Obviously, I will not be a professional player, unless I do a Dave Kitson. Perhaps I could be Jose Mourinho's expansion pack with my sarcastic and critical tone. Now that would be the joke of the century. But oh well, whatever comes calling, be it in politics, business, or even in science, I really want to be able to influence others in the future. Right now, obviously I have inclinations towards certain areas, but the finish line is still an absolute blur. So please, pray that there will be signs for me, and that I would not be afraid to step out of my comfort zone in whatever I'm asked to do.

Lastly, to end of, I feel it is of course important to enjoy this journey. A couple of weeks ago on American Idol, one of the biggest shocks took place when Carly was eliminated despite producing at the very least, the 2nd best performance during the previous night. Well, that's democracy for you. Nevertheless, many have speculated that it was because of the song she sang, 'Jesus Christ Superstar', that caused her to lose votes from the people who do not have a personal relationship with God. And we will never know if it was because of that, or because ABC intentionally rigged the votes to make supporters even more fearful and so would end up voting more for their favourites and thus contribute more revenue to the company. The point was that Carly had no regrets with her song choice, unlike some other eliminated contestants who admitted they messed up their song choices. Carly was determined to use the opportunity she had on Idol. And she succeeded. She entertained, she enjoyed herself, and even Simon had nothing but praise for her. Never mind that she's out, she had no regrets and did not feel disappointed at all. God must have been so proud of her.

That's the kind of spirit that I want to have.

THE END OF A BUSY WEEK.

Reprise is over, and with that much of RJGE.
All of SPA is finally over.
No more trips to NUS on Monday and Thurdays.

Ah, suddenly, I'm going to be so free. Next week will really be unreal. Yes, I'm lagging big time on the tutorials and stuff but boy, the thing I need now is sleep, which I'll finally be able to get after a week in which I was enervated more and more each day.

First, Reprise really turned out great, I think. To be honest I doubted ticket sales would be good, not just because of the weird day it was held but generally because I doubted guitar would be that popular among students. But we were able to get a sell-out, which was wonderful, and from what I've heard most people who attended the concert enjoyed it thoroughly, even though the main ensemble songs were kind of short. And the spongebob encore was really just funny.

I have to say that I was pretty slack in guitar last year, not really bothering to practise much at home and just attending pracs. for the sake of it. But at least this year, despite being unable to attend monday pracs. due to H3, I've put in a concerted effort to practise the concert pieces. And the feeling of being able to play it during concert was really just wonderful - that sense of achievement. Apart from the final set of chords for Grenada which I just cannot shift fast enough, I've been able to learn and play the the other 3 pieces well enough, at least in my opinion, and it's a good feeling to have.

Tomorrow I'll finally be able to go for service again and enough though it's like only a week it feels like a long long time since I've been able to attend a praise and worship session and boy do I miss that quality atmosphere that is unmatched in Nexus.

Anyway, one thing that is not over though is NAPFA, thanks to sit and reach, a station where few people have problems in general, and one area which I certainly did not expect to be my 'limiting factor'. But oh well, a lack of stretching and doing sit-ups and jumps before that can really be significant. I shall look to the improvement in pull-ups to inspire me to stretch more and overcome the pain barrier.

Football now, and we lost to united in a match which has been typical of our slump: dominance but with nothing to show for. We certainly had no one to blame but ourselves. We even had a huge slice of luck when Adebayor smartly stuck out his elbow to direct the ball into the net. But then just like the past few weeks going ahead was the cue to hit the self-destruct button, and so now we are left with 4 games with no pressure, and plenty of time for the disappointment to sink in. Nevertheless, credit united. If it is not Arsenal, then it has to be them, for only they play football anywhere near the way Arsenal play it, the way it should be played. As a pundit aptly described the Liverpool Arsenal match: Beauty and the beast went head to head and sad to say, the beast won, thanks to its reputation. I will have no favourites but surely if I could pick winners then I would certainly want united to do the double this year. (shocking?)

I guess this year is still a big improvement from last year, where we were in such a position in February. They had such a long time for the disappointment to sink in, and hopefully despite the shorter time they have this season they will still reflect and improve for next year.

Really glad to get through this week, and now for much needed sleep.

AND THE SEASON IS OVER FOR US. OR MORE OR LESS SO.

The 4-2 defeat means we are out of the champions league, and with the blown points against rubbish teams over the last few weeks, it means there is probably nothing left to play for. It is disappointing, after the fine first half to the season which the youngsters had.

Yet, there was so much more to the scoreline. 1-1 at the Emirates last week meant that a score draw of 2-2 or more would have sent us through to the next round. And it was 2-2, with 6 minutes to go, until things conspired horribly wrong against us. The liverpool fans were stunned. It was at Anfield. And the 12th man won the game for Liverpool.

Not the Kop, not the Liverpool fans who will be counting their lucky stars, but the referee. He gave a penalty that never was. Never. The shock look on Gerrard said it all; he coudln't believe the luck his team was getting. It was the second get-out-of-jail card Liverpool had drawn from the Chance pile. It was the second 'GO TO JAIL, DO NOT PASS START' card Arsenal drew from the Chance pile. What a shocker. And Gerrard duly dispatched the penalty away. The Liverpool fans went wild. Fair enough.

Where is the consistency in football? Where?
There is so much talk of match fixing and 'bungs' undermining the integrity of the game, when really, it is such clear inherent double standards that tarnish the integrity of the game far more. Arsene Wenger said after the match about 'injustice' being dealt to his team. And i don't know. Maybe UEFA will spend more efforts into investigating whether his comments are ruining the integrity of the game, rather than the decision itself, which is just farcical.

Rafael Benitez choose only to praise his team's determination to come back after the tie seemed out of their grasp. This was the same Rafael Benitez who said 'How can the referee do such a thing? How can the referee change the complexion of the game after we were dominating the entire match before that?' when Rob Styles awarded Chelsea another penalty that never was when Liverpool played Chelsea earlier in the season. Fair enough, luck comes and go. But this is not just luck. We've had none of it recently. Against Birmingham, we conceded a penalty that never was in the last minute: replays showed Clichy had clearly got the ball. Against Middlesbrough, a perfectly legal goal was disallowed for offside incorrectly.

And it is shocking that such huge mistakes occur during the most important of matches. This match aside, the World Cup 2002 in South Korea and Japan was another shocker. Maybe we should not be so surprised. The reality is that double standards have existed all the while, what with tackles warranting yellow cards and stuff. But when it leads to goals, the most pivotal thing in a football game, then people stand up and take notice.

And what with consequences? I fully agree with what Sir Alex Ferguson said when his team were hard done by against Portsmouth, by a refereeing decision that effectively cost his team the FA Cup. Ferguson said that "That referee will referee another match again next week." Where is the check and balance system which will ensure referees are on the top of their game as well? Sure, some associations impose bans on referees - they are suspended from refereeing the next match or something. But does it work? How much do referees reflect on their mistakes? Do they feel guilty? I'm pretty sure they do. But is that good enough a factor to make them more alert during matches?

I feel referees should be rated by a panel after each match. And their performances should be published weekly. We have a player rating system. We have a league table. We have statistics which rank players' miles clocked up, passes made. Why not referees. Because then we would really come to appreciate those who have truly done their job well.

It's one thing getting knocked out of the champions league due to 2 clear-cut mistakes. I'm not feeling too down about that. Besides, I have to be honest. I doubt we would have been able to overcome Chelsea. And in any case, Liverpool will probably collide with Man United in the final, and they will experience how it feels to have a match sucked away from you because your opponents are more illustrious. What I hope to see is a thorough evaluation of what went wrong at Anfield and at the Emirates. And people who have made mistakes should be accountable for their mistakes. Referees are people who demand respect right away just because of the important position that they have in a match. They should earn this respect by apologising for their errors, and acknowledging their mistakes. This, for the betterment of a game which represents so much in a world where double standards exist everywhere.

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For all the talk about the disappointment, I am still so proud of the players. Apart from pieces of slack defending which will have to be addressed and this can be done at the end of the season, the players really gave their all in attack. They stuck to their guns, played their passing game, and the first goal was a perfect one indeed. In fact over the past 3 matches, they've just shown how capable they are of playing big teams and still being able to keep possession. And the 2nd goal, was just a joy to watch. It was a beauty, Walcott's run from penalty box to penalty box and then setting it up for a tap in for Adebayor. That alone was worth waking up to watch the match. And while we could still have a say in the title race by screwing Man United up this Sunday, to be honest I'd rather we lose and Man United win the BPL than Chelsea. To have a team like Chelsea who play the boring way they play and still be able to win the league, would be an absolute disgrace for the English game.

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It's been a disappointing common test again. I will have to work a lot harder. Nevertheless, I still enjoy the time I spend in school. With my classmates, with my CCA friends. And of course, spending time with my caregroup members. There are a lot of goals to aim for. The most important though are still those to do with my personal temperament, my commitment and self-discipline, and my willingness to step out of my comfort zone. In this testing week where I will be emotionally charged everytime I think of the injustices which have taken place, I look to no one else by Him. And of course, put in me the appropriate words during worship. This is a week of great dependence, as weeks have been and will continue to be.

A PRESS THAT LIFTS PEOPLE UP ONLY TO SHOOT THEM DOWN AT ANY CHANCE AVAILABLE. 

And that is all UK tabloids are about. Which is really quite amusing for people to read and which is why they sell so well. But sometimes, you just feel for the people who are 'shot' only to be hyped up again not long after, and then 'shot' again in a cyclical manner. Case in point -1. Capello, who was built up by the press as the 'best candidate after Mourinho', and soon after he got the England job, his tactical skills were continually boasted by the press. And then after only his 2nd match, in which England, whose team consisted of players who were not going to EURO 2008, and were tired out by an exhausting league race and champions league run, lost to France, whose team were going to compete in EURO 2008 in the summer and so had to treat the game seriously, the press raps Capello for being 'clueless' and 'a fool of a tactician', I mean come on. It doesn't take a genius to realise the mess that the team is in, and yet a 1-0 reverse to France makes it seem like its the end of the world. 

Case in point 2. Avram Grant, has done so well after Mourinho left Chelsea abruptly, and yet the press keeps saying its the players that are playing well and that the manager has nothing to do with it. And when his good results are finally commended, he is just brought down to earth with every next defeat. And it is not just the culture of the press, it is also the culture of football fans. Fickle-minded. Chelsea fans, when they were trailing 0-1 to Arsenal, shouted chants of 'you don't know what you are doing' when Grant brought Anelka and some other player on. The same fans were screaming their team on after they came roaring back to win 2-1. The same fans who will curse him again now that Chelsea lost 2-1 to Fenerbahce, the weakest team remaining in the Champions League, after they were leading 0-1 and could have had 5 or 6. And we all know Chelsea will go through to the semis anyway. A single goal deficit is just so easy to overcome at the bridge. Thankfully Drogba stood up like all players should for their managers, saying 'We turk-ed it, not Avram'. 

Anyway it's advantage Liverpool after the 1-1 draw at the Emirates. It was typical Arsenal, profligate, typical Liverpool, tight at the back (and boring). But they got their goal and that's all that matters to them, and that's all that hurts us Arsenal fans. 0-0 would be good. 1-0 would have been fantastic. It should have been 3 or 4. If not for a major refereeing blunder for not giving the penalty and a moment of horror for Bendtner (am I on the opposite end of the field?) clearing a goal-bound ball right before it went in. Speaking of that, the blunder was just a blunder. It surely wasn't any kind of favouritism to Kuyt, if it was so then he would have red-carded everyone who touched van Persie. And yet the press goes on to suggest conspiracy theories about the referee, when they should focus on the wonderful football that Arsenal played against an in-form Liverpool team and how we had 61% of possession. Probably the highest in a quarter final. And if the press was nonsensical, then I don't know who Kuyt is, Kuyt who said 'it was never a penalty'. Well try listening to Mourinho saying the opposite after what happened when Liverpool played Chelsea earlier this year. Laughs. 

Point is: Admit you all had the luck. Yes the performance was 'professional' by virtue of the fact that you all got the away goal you wanted, the same way a penalty is 'good' if it hits the back of the net. Admit we outplayed you. And while that probably won't happen at Anfield next Tuesday, know that if we played the same way we did on Wednesday, and if we played the same way we played Milan, we would win. 

Thankfully, any little bit of spite I had for the refereeing decision was eliminated by a UEFA statement that said 'He (referee) got a big decision wrong and a decision that could very well change the outcome of the tie. He will suffer the consequences for his mistake as will any other referee who performs similarly in such a showpiece match.' And fortunately for the referee, this is not Chelsea, this is not Mourinho. So we Arsenal fans are very accepting. If not, he would have received death threats and been forced to continue his remaining two jobs of being a husband and a bunch of organic molecules. 

That's all the football rants I have this week. Oh, and Manchester are playing beautiful football, credit to them. They will fully deserve the league title and (very likely) the champions league this season. 

When you go to open houses and scholarship talks and stuff, you receive a whole lot of freebies, the most useful being files, and then of course, pens.

I use these pens to do practice questions and exercises for common tests and stuff. And with this week being common test week, of course I use a lot of them. It is really quite shocking to see how some pens just die so easily or just don't work after awhile. Some of which come from big companies and prestigious local scholarship boards. Yes it's only a pen, but it's these little things that make you have a good impression of a company. Till now, the best pens I've used are still those from Best Western Hotel. Not that they offer a scholarship or that I would probably ever work there, but perhaps that'll be a good option for a hotel if I ever travel to the States. Of course, the hotel could be nothing like the pen, nevertheless, it has made an impression on me. A good one. Credit to their publicity department.

Also, it's not like a lousy pen would make me not want a scholarship - I'd take anything there is on the table! Just a thought on the significance of free pens.

And now back to work. Two to go. God please bless with me the optimum urgency at the start of papers so that I do not panic too much to the point that I will end up make careless mistakes, and on the other hand, and also don't work too slowly until I end up panicking when the clock runs down.

The same urgency that Fabregas and co. lacked over the last 4 premier league matches.

Not a long one, but remember my previous post on managers not being honest enough and MOTIVATION (or lack of motivation) being the underlying reason for poor performances, well one week after my post Arsenal captain William Gallas has this to say:

"I'll tell you why there was a difference between the win in Milan and our next game. It was in the head," Gallas was quoted as saying in The Sun.

"It is human nature that after a huge game in Europe it is difficult to find the same level of motivation for the following game.

"In fact what we needed was an even higher level than we had in Milan. We all have to understand that.

"And we have to understand it quickly because time is running out for us this season.

"We need to understand what it takes to become champions if we want that trophy.

"If you look at the table now, I'm not saying we're in trouble but we have lost our lead.

"So from now on we just have to think about ourselves, not look at the table any more. And we have to win every game.

"We need to have a high level of motivation from now until the end of the season.

"We have to give 200 per cent."

How honest of him, and how true, only that he has not set such a good example for his teammates. What was with waving your arms for offside when you should have just went to close down the player with the ball and prevent the cross which led to the goal?

ANOTHER FOOTBALL ANALOGY.

Motivation is a hard thing to get in life, especially when things are not going your way. How can it be that Liverpool lose to Barnsley and then beat Inter Milan, that Arsenal beat Milan and then draw with Wigan? There are many more examples, but the two I used are to show that a drop in confidence (former) is not to blame, and neither is a hangover (latter) after a good result, as it happens both ways. Benitez would say the answer is that it is the romance of the cup, Wenger would say that the pitch was horrible, and while both are true to a certain extent, they are just reluctant to admit the harsh truth - that their players just lacked motivation. And they cannot be faulted for not admitting such a thing, after all, they are managers and they have a responsibility to keep the morale of their camp high.

Players however, are sometimes more frank, and while their own managers and the press jump on their comments and exaggerate it ten-fold, I laud them for their honesty. The very fact that managers keep harping on the need to stay focused and not be complacent, just reveals how grave a problem it could be. Sure, good teams can get away with it week after week, but slowly this lack of motivation would come back to bite them hard. Arsenal's tie with Milan is well and truly over. We outplayed them, we beat them. Period. In between, 3 draws. To be fair, we deserved to win against Birmingham. But we deserved to lose to Aston Villa, and the draw against Wigan is the fair result. Amidst the draws, players like Fabregas have come out to say that the team is fired up for the rest of the season. Fired up about what in particular? Because comparing the way he shot tamely at the keeper in the final minute against Wigan, and the way he took his goal at Milan, for me, says it all. It's easy to get fired up against Milan, Champions League holders, with all to prove against them, but it is so difficult to get fired up against a rubbish team that is Wigan (I'm not going to give a no offence here - the WIgan fans know deep down the rubbish that is their players). And when you're not fired up while they are, it makes a whole lot of difference, just like mental strength does in wars, just like optimism does in fighting cancers. The players couldn't play their passing game because of the pitch, but that's no excuse. Arsenal are better than Wigan in heading, long-range shooting, defending. Yet, the team got outplayed, by a team who you could clearly see was fired up, just like Barnsley was in their upset of monumental proportions when they beat Chelsea. Was I frustrated? No. I've said before that I can accept what is deserved, and a draw was deserved. Arsenal played miserably. I was just disappointed at the fact that the players who I admire so much - and who I will continue to admire - still fall short of being motivated for every game, because believe you me, I would much rather be frustrated at a good performance but with glorious chances spurned.

You would be able to understand why S-league players lack so much motivation to play - they are paid ridiculously low wages. While the 'motivation is proportionate to wage' point is contentious, it is hard to believe that top top Premier League players that these guys are, still somehow lack the motivation to play at times, with the wages they are getting, and the many many fans out there who support them. The obvious reason is that they are getting too comfortable with their lives; they can easily support themselves, buy a good car, a good house, please their WAGS. And so, they don't feel the hunger as much anymore. Yes, the fact remains that many players are spurred on by the desire to win a cup or a league title, but this motivation will never be as strong as that when you are playing for your immediate living. Fabregas (top class against Milan, nevertheless) is strongly motivated to win the league and champions league, but that motivation will never be as strong as Adebayor's when he was still in Africa with his family struggling to make ends meet, or Drogba's when he wanted to much for the internal conflict within his homeland to cease. And however much Drogba may be the scourge of Arsenal whenever he plays against us, I respect him so much for the motivation that he plays with.

Similarly, in life, we often don't hunger so much for God's presence and Word when things are going well for us. We praise Him, we lift Him up, but we don't desire Him as much. And this is the perfect description of me in the past. Yes Arsenal have been piss-poor, but I've had decent results, and have not had significant conflict within my family or any serious relationship problems. And so I used to lack the desire to read the Bible, and to worship. The same can be said of many other things. When I had eczema, I applied potassium permanganate every night; applied moisturiser every night; ate my pills within any hint of forgetting to. Yet once it went away, I stopped. It is partly due to the way our body priorities things I suppose, and can thus be said to be sub-conscious to some extent. But the fact remains that if you really want to do something you will take the necessary steps to make sure you do it. And so this is something very easy to succumb to. The lack of motivation when things are not going very wrong. In a way, this is some sort of a vicious cycle. The way to fight it, is to take advantage of the next time something goes wrong and you get that motivation for awhile. Make a habit of it and stick to it. Otherwise, like how I changed, make decisions beforehand, reasonable ones, and stick to it. Those 3 words are so important.

It'll always be difficult but I'll now challenge myself. I'll fast on Arsenal's next match, which is home to MIddlesbrough. And I'll really spend the 2 hours wisely. And let's hope I'll be blessed with a shocking defeat that I wish I never watched, like 4-1 to Liverpool last year which I so fortunately missed. Now come to think of it, I wonder if it was really just coincidence that ensured I was NOT screaming my lungs out and stretching my blood vessels to the limit last year.

THE END OF A SPECIAL MONTH.

Today is the 29th, it is the leap day. I think, it is a recognition of science - the accuracy to which scientists have determined the revolution of the earth around the sun. The usage of the leap year once every four years, has ensured at least that there is no clear shift of the seasons in the past few decades. Remarkable, isn't it?
Well, just a thought.

Today was also GP CT. It hardly felt like a common test; most of us were hardly in the mood for it. And GP is a subject where one really needs to 'get in the groove' of it to do well. But oh well, at least there was a question I had content for, so I did not have to generate on-the-spot and face all the nervousness about time resulting from that. Compre. was as usual. Paraphrase 'seriousness'? Goodness, the setters must have worked hard on it; they would be delighted when they start marking, I suppose.

Oh well, so much for the common test. It's 1/5 done. 17 days from now, the rest.
Anyway, at the start of the month, I think I was asked quite a pertinent question. What are areas which could potentially make me drift further away from God. And two things popped up obviously. Studies...and soccer. The fact that soccer makes it in there side by side with studies says it all. And then I thought again, yes, am I really very academically-oriented? And if people were to ask me such a question, I would probably say, no. And that is the truth. Yes, if I do badly for a test, right after that, or maybe even for the entire day itself, I would feel down. I would not be as willing to chat with others. But at least, this is so much better than in the past where I would be so keen to discuss answers and count marks. So, yes, maybe, but probably not - to whether studies would hinder my walk with God.

What about soccer? Well, there are two issues to it - the time spent, and the how much emotion it drains out of me. Time spent? My resolution was to keep to 2 matches a week - which I know is still a lot. So if Arsenal play twice in a week I'll watch both matches, if not its Arsenal's match plus a big match if there is one, e.g. Liverpool v Chelsea or League Cup Final. In addition, I play fantasy football. So each week involves looking up the fixture list for that week and subsequent weeks, searching for the right players, and picking the right captain. Players who are on form, players who are rising in value, and dumping players who's value I predict would fall. I do it for BPL and champions league. For the BPL game I've slumped big time cause I made the biggest mistake one could make - not have Ronaldo in your team and not add him when his cost was still relatively low. For the champions league I (proudly say that I'm) in the top 1000 out of over 50,000 players, thanks to having Fabregas, van NIstelrooy, Messi and Kanoute in my team. Well anyway, I hope this would serve me well for investing in the real world in the future. It's a lot more complex, but at least this game is one that really gets me excited too. For now, that's the time spent on it.
Emotions? I have to say, the worse feeling one can have, is to drop points in a match that your team really, really deserved to win. It is very frustrating, and yes, it is very emotionally draining, it is a problem for me. Things have improved a lot this season, but to be honest, I think most of it is down to Arsenal's improvement in form, not mine. And that's the truth. 1-2 down against Man United last year, I was whining and whining about how the match should have been sealed in our favour. Of course when Gallas got the equaliser it changed to jubilation. I watched the first team got owned 5-1 by Spurs and 4-0 by Man United recently, and the feeling is just...the 'can't be helped feeling'. I think I am quite fine with that, accepting defeat when it is deserved. The big problem is still embracing defeat when so many chances have been created and spurned. Like against Birmingham. That is a problem, and I don't know, it may be that the passion I have towards soccer will mean that I will forever boil over when it happens. Thus, herein lies the issue of drifting away from God. It's all good when Arsenal are winning and the youngsters are making the critics eat humble pie (love this phrase) , but when it goes bad it is an emotional drain on me. And it would mean I cannot focus well on anything else - studies, reading, or QT. The way to solve it, I suppose, is to gradually channel this passion onto serving God and growing his Kingdom. I've always had this desire to grow in God, the moment I converted, but I have been held back for a long time by inertia, and lack of desire to change. And without the desire, things would not change. Thus I would have to make another big change now. Can I foresee a day when I miss an Arsenal match and not be desperate to know the result right away? Well, I'm going to have to face it during NS. But yeah, apart from that, it will be difficult. I've really developed a bond for this wonderful team, and, like Thierry Henry said, they will forever occupy a space in my heart. The point now, just like to advance a relationship, is to stick with them through thick and thin, which is to accept the inherent occasional slip-ups that come with playing football the way they play. Chelsea fans found that out the hard way when Liverpool edged them out twice in champions league semi-finals, as well as in the recent league cup final. When I went into grads. and then into JC Central I thought it would be so difficult to get close to my caregroup members. Xuan always talked about family, and for a very long time, I wondered how much the group was going to open up for me. And then, while they always have, gradually, I opened up myself too. And now, its such a good group to be in and there has really been the element of family. Hopefully, that would extend to the unit soon. Anyway my point was, it will be a long process, trying to curb my emotions while watching football, but hopefully not too long.
Pray for me! =)

Anyway, have deciding that in view of being underweight and stuff, perhaps fasting from food is not such a good idea. During QT I got a message that football is the area that I will have to gradually give up to make more time for meetings and stuff. And so I got it down to 2 options - uninstall FIFA 08 and missing the first 30 mins of every match. It pained me to give up either, and so it just went down to a coin toss. And guess what, bye bye FIFA 08. Until Winning Eleven Eleven on PS3 after A levels! So, bye bye to the long love affair between me and FIFA, I suppose. Haha.

To finish off, on Saturday, Arsenal drop points in the race. But what marred the whole match was a horrible injury to Eduardo. I have the video of replays of it, and believe me it is just so, so graphic and painful to watch. The lower studs clamped the boot to the ground, while the upper studs of the tackler's boots caused 90kg worth of impact onto Eduardo's ankle, causing it to shift outwards while the rest of the foot remained in the boot. The thought of it just makes me sick to the stomach. Thankfully, through very quick thinking from the physio, the relocation was done quickly enough and he would recover in 9 months.

That infamous tackler is none other than Martin Taylor. And there is certainly a lot that can be learnt from this injury. Firstly, many people, coincidentally all Birmingham players, say that he shouldn't even have got a yellow card as he "had no intent". Yes, it is certainly true that, if there is intent to cause harm but no harm was actually done, then it warrants a red card. So does it mean that if there is no intent to cause harm, there should be no red cards? The issue of 'intent' here is important. Clearly, Taylor did not intend to break Eduardo's leg. What he did intend to do though, was to get stuck into him, to "let him know Birmingham is in this game", which is a euphemism for saying we should show that through reckless tackles and rough play, we can make up the difference for the lack in our quality of passing, of shooting. Does this warrant a red card? Think about it. This is generally true for teams when they are not playing Arsenal. Tackles are with the intent of getting the ball. If you miss the ball, you get the player - its a foul. When is it a red card? If you are last man, if the tackle was late, or if the tackle was a bad one. You continually see players using their hands to show the shape of the ball, telling refs. that they were 'playing the ball'. Well, you could be Henry, who in the process of missing a tackle, just got a bit of the player, and so, foul, nothing more. You could be Crouch, who in the process of missing a tackle, missed the player as well, way too slow. You could be Rooney, and you went in hard with a tackle, didn't get the ball, and hurt the player. Surely, if the contact is bad, it's your fault. Yes, you could say you intended to get the ball, but if you make a mistake, you pay for it. Imagine if you wanted to hurt a person by contaminating his food with tabasco, and you do not realise that he cannot handle tabasco. He cannot handle it at all, that, if he drinks it, he will die. And so, you did not intend to kill him, but you intended to hurt him, and in the end he dies. Is that murder? Hell yes. So why is it that on the football pitch, this is not the case?

The worse thing though, is that Taylor is only banned for 3 matches. While Eduardo has to deal with the prospect of not playing for 9 months. Taylor is not going to Euro 2008. He will never represent England at any level. In fact, he may not even be playing Premier League football again next season. Furthermore, if he ever leaves Birmingham, the only club that would want to buy him is Tottenham Hotspur, where people would give him praise for what he did. Eduardo on the other hand, is Crostia's best striker. He is the reason why England is not even in Euro 2008. And he will not be able to represent his country. I, as an Arsenal fan, would never forget him. But other fans, other critics, they probably might. He would be left in the limelight while Taylor, would have gotten famous overnight. Just a search on google on 'taylor' without his surname already shows the first hit as 'Eduardo tackle was an accident'. So was half the murders that have taken place in this world. So Taylor has gotten famous over a tackle, and his life as a normal footballer will forever be remembered for that. He could probably stop playing football and receive pension for the rest of his life from Tottenham fans. And soon, he will be playing football again for Birmingham. Will he dare tackle again? What if, he breaks someone's leg again. Accident again? He would probably never play again if that happened. That should be how we view him in the light of Eduardo's tackle, if the latter were the case. We all know by now he did not mean to break Eduardo's leg, but the reaction from Birmingham players, deciding to show their support for him, that he will 'get through the trauma', and accusing Arsene Wenger of being a sore loser (which he is, but still) just shows a lack of professionalism on their part. We as Arsenal fans, can argue all we like and make Taylor feel as guilty as he can, but he doesn't deserve that. His colleagues deserve that as a whole, just that all the suffering will be solely on him. He has his teammates to blame. The fact still remains that the first thing he did after the ref. sent him off was to insist his lack of intent, not worry for Eduardo, certainly not concern over whether Eduardo would play football again. Arsenal's reaction is by no means uncalled for. I could only imagine what would happen if Mourinho was still here and that Taylor's tackle was on his star man, Drogba.

Just read a good article today from Arsenal's Monthly magazine at Borders.

In July(2006), he made very outspoken comments about Henry's departure and questioned the club's ambition and transfer policy. He even hinted at leaving the club, unhappy with the club's supposed lack of ambition. Then during the summer, (Arsenal manager) Arsene Wenger had a good chat with him about his career and the club's ambition, and he made a big decision. He decided he was going to stay on and fight for the club, and that he wanted added responsibility. He was (to the surprise of many) given the captain's armband for the ongoing 07-08 season, and has really defied his doubters, leading by example and even coming up with crucial goals against Manchester and Chelsea in the league.

And as aptly put by Wenger:

"He made a big U-turn in the summer. Now, he isn't just on board, he's one of the driving forces of the team, and their success this term."

This is none other than Arsenal's inspirational captain Willian Gallas. And he has certainly earned so much of my respect over the season. Not just the goals (which he as a defender has no right to score but still does), but also in the way he has presented himself and led the team. At the start of the season, I, like many other Arsenal fans, was shocked at the decision to appoint him as captain - he had only just come in a year ago from London rivals Chelsea, and kept moaning about the club's lack of ambition in their transfer policy....letting stars like Henry go away. Yet, he has shown his leadership qualities over the season and is certainly as important a player to us as Fabregas, Hleb or Adebayor, in an amazing season so far where more and more critics are made to swallow their words and eat humble pie this season.

Gallas is certainly a role model for me. I may not be the equivalent of "captain" or "driving force" of my cg, but it is certainly something i aspire to be. And I have made my big U-turn.

It's been a week full of pretty long nights, but I think this week has been a pretty good one for me. For at least 3 days, I think I've only had sleep for slightly more than 5 hours the previous night. And for some lessons the tiredness really kicks in, but somehow I think some combination of sleepy cycle and cold temperature, and of course entertaining classmates/tutorials means that I can stay awake most of the time.

Well so my days are now like H3 on Mon and Thurs, CCA on wed, CIP on tues, which leaves Friday free. =)
Not too bad.

So this week I spent a night rushing tutorials and reading stuff, a day doing presentation slides for my attachment project, and wednesday learning the worship pattern of strumming, which was time very well spent. And then Thurs was cg day and although it didn't turn out as planned it was very good to just relax out one night and joke around and stuff with wonderful fellow cg mates, after the other busy days. Really hope cg won't clash with anything for upcoming weeks.

Well what else was good about the week was that....I only played half an hour of FIFA08 (which was to reward myself for doing work or else I would really lack the will), and I did not watch Arsenal's league cup semi-final with Tottenham which turned out to be an absolute horror show. I spent my time well, and with all the time management stuff during civics I am by and large still a very big slacker but heck the only way I can go from there is to be less slack. =)

Didn't get to watch much Aussie open because of the late go-back-home times but managed to watch Fed v Djoker today, which Fed lost badly. Oh well, bad week in terms of the people I support. Still through reading the sports section everyday it is just so touching to know about the many stories that have taken place during the open, such as the emergence of the Serbians, and of course an unseeded French player who had his career is tatters years ago fighting his way into the final, totally destroying Nadal on the way. You will probably never see a lower division team win the FA Cup, or an eastern european team winning the champions league, but it sure happens in tennis, and very often. I guess this is one appeal that sports like tennis and golf (though I still think it is boring) have over soccer: unpredictability and upsets.

Still, soccer will always be my favourite, and the sport shows so many other things besides goals. Arsenal just broke down totally against Tottenham in the league cup, and there was even a ugly spat between Bendtner and Adebayor which apparently involved a headbutt too. Thankfully, no ban was imposed by the FA, which I think is really a very generous decision. I would have been fuming if such a thing happened at United. On another note, non-league team Havant and Waterlooville, who miraculously reached the 4th round of the FA Cup to get a dream tie against Liverpool, tried so desperately to get their best player (who was to serve a one match suspension) to be able to play in the tie by preponing a match before the weekend so he could serve his suspension for that match instead. Unfortunately, the club is so poor and small that the floodlights couldn't work so the match couldn't take place. Yet, the FA, upon finding out that they attempted this, immediately increased the ban to 2 matches so no matter what he couldn't play against Liverpool (unless they scheduled 10000 matches in a day, after which the FA would increase the ban to 10001 matches..zz). I think, comparing these 2 situations (Arsenal's where someone gets away with nothing despite headbutting a teammate, and the latter where the FA just denies someone a chance to play against Liverpool), it just goes to show that the FA practises double standards. I am a big Arsenal fan, but I know Adebayor really should have gotten at least a 3 match ban for what he did, which was appalling. And yet the FA chooses to go all out to ensure that this player does not get to play against Liverpool. The fact is that whether he plays or not, Liverpool will totally stuff them. 5,6, 56? lol. And yet they want to deprive a player the day of his life. With them devoting so much effort to such trivial stuff is no wonder why they couldn't even get a good coach for the national team for the euro qualifiers. This all links to governance. It starts from the top, and once the top is weak, England will forever disappoint.