It truly is such a boring weekend.
Stuck on a Saturday morning, can't go to Nexus, and having to read chinese model essays. It's all too late now isn't it.
Well, Monday will be my most difficult test. It IS make-or-break.
I don't know, perhaps the rain during the last few days have been a reprieve for me. It has made me able to study in the afternoon, however weird that might sound.
And it's so refreshing to see the view from my window. It's as if its in High Definition, comparative with the recent hazy days. Appreciate nature.
Been a weird o' week. It's when you see things like blood trickling down the sink [or however you describe it, and don't ask where the blood came from], that makes you reflect.
There ain't long to go. Ain't long to go till all this starts again.
I'm not depressed, neither am I stressed. Just, confounded.
And damn, ESPNSTAR isn't showing Arsenal v Everton tonight because of priority towards United and Liverpool. Hey, who's everyone saying is playing sexy football?
The way things are, I bet Liverpool fans would much rather watch Arsenal unleash their attacking game. It's less stressful as well. Back to the phrase I love to use - double standards. And i cannot, for the life of me, figure out why this is still so apparent.
Oh well, I ll just take it as a blessing in disguise and get back to work.
Hopefully, this is the last time I'm scraping for a subject I feel I'm absolutely powerless in wanting to improve.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Well for me it has been a tumultuous week indeed.
I ll start way back.
Last Saturday. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling freaking down and sick. The previous day, I had this weird feeling in my throat whenever anything liquid ran over it. And this feeling was confirmed by Saturday. I had quite a fever, about 39.5 deg, and i had to lie in bed till 11am. Couldn't eat anything. Just drank the same old bland nutrient that is water. Then i tried eating porridge. Couldn't get 5 spoonfuls in before having the vommiting feeling. Shit it. Went back to bed till dinner. And it picked up at night. Wasn't feeling so giddy, and i ate fruits. The headache wasn't that bad, so i managed to catch the 10pm match, that was Arsenal away to Charlton. Conceded an early goal thanks [or no thanks] to sloppy defending and ball watching, and i thought, another frustrating away game. Thankfully, this is a changed team. They managed to beat Man U at Old Trafford, and they managed to come back thanks to 2 stunning goals from van Persie. Better news yet, Chelsea drew at home!
Ok, then to Monday, where i was still bothered by the fever. I was as good as a sitting duck during bio prac. What to do. But over the weekend, I sort of had mixed feelings. Of course, it sucks to be sick, but on the other hand, I also felt kind of lucky that this didn't take place during the preliminary examinations, and of course, not during the real deal.
The week seemed to sweep by. Every passing day we anticipated results. But as ANDERSON never fails to disappoint, it was delayed till Thursday. So Thursday was indeed set up as THE DAY.
On Wednesday night, I took some time during QT to reflect on the prelims [fine I'm lazy to keep continuing the proper english....], all the doubts, and whether i was over-confident for some subjects. Ok I ll admit it. I think if u sit anywhere near me, you ll know that I said many times that chem and EM were confirmed A1s. If u didn't read my past entry [shame on you!], i ll repeat. I doubted physics and bio for A1s. The biggest worry though, was failing chinese. And so, I really prayed, and prayed, for a very long time [by my standards at least, comparatively], that I could pass my chinese.
On thursday, fatefully, chinese was first. I got back the compo paper, 52/90, and i thought, ok, 48 for paper 2 will clinch it. It was OK. Then, when i got back my paper 2 and saw the 46.5/110, i was absolutely shocked. Many thoughts went through my head. At first, it was 'why now?' of all times to fail a subject, much less chinese! And i was selfishly asking people to help my find marks. Sorry CX, PK and erm, Kumby, haha. Then it started to sink in. I was really distraught. For half a day [you ll find out why later its HALF], I was not myself at all. I was making unreasonable comments, as the feeling of desperation sank in. Along the way I got back quite a few papers, and yeah, EM was indeed A1. Bio also fluked an A1. And I have to say I'm sorry, when people like PK and KB talked about my maths being 'sick' i took it as mocking my chinese, and got pissed. And Meijun said she saw me talk in such a critical way she had never seen before. yeah, after reading CX's entry, i realised half the person i was. [the other half is the half that gets equally pissed when Arsenal cannot get results, haha jk]. To top it all off, i even asked the question, 'why God?'. yes I admit it, that was how low i got, and that I've got so much to improve, as a person. Still, I ll like to give thanks to Mrs Allison Lim, who said some comforting words to me after i told her of my chinese, that a 49 will surely be moderated to 50, and yeah, it really calmed me down for awhile.
Then after recess, when i came back, someone told me Mr Tay added 3m to my paper2 chinese! Goodness me! I couldn't believe it. I have to say, I deserved the mark, but very seldom do you get luck as such. Relief suddenly flooded through me. The dream was alive. And boy was it decisive. Now, going back to the rest of results. AM was made extremely dramatic by me again. Paper 1, i got 50. In fact i was feeling quite OK, cos i was expecting to lose 35 marks. I totally wasn't ready for it on the first day. Then paper 2, was a 68, which after adding in the marks for the matrix qn which could not be done, the overall was a 78, A1. Bang it in. Geog was a foregone conclusion, at least for 4/7 students [no offence to those who fell short], but we outclassed the field la. Then chem. I was so confident about it, i expected to cruise to an A1. Turned out, i just scraped another 78 for it. Practical was horrible, and paper 2 saved me. And Weelic, all confident as ever, suprisingly fell short of an A1. That's how deceiving chemistry was. Physics, i felt, was the most difficult science. The MSG was so high la. [high = numerically high]. To get an A1 i was quite surprised, but by then it really didn't matter la, the R5 was settled liao. The day ended with combined humanities, and ooh! I went oh so close to getting back on track. SS was good with 39 but i got dragged down by history with 35 la leaving a total of 74. now gimme a break. Oh, and the most important subject, english, hopefully it gets an A2. The scenario is that i got 67, then managed to add 3 marks for compre, now you do the maths, and I hope that with mercy it will turn into an A2. But if it doesn't, its OK. I'm satisfied with my results. And it is good la. I'll give myself credit where it is due, and I think I ll take some time to work on the languages, time which is more relaxing, before its back to the rest, the sciences and maths. oh and geog.
I left Thursday feeling whether or not 8 would be enough for RJC, and then on Friday, i read CX's entry which is really a great one. And then I went to Hope on Saturday, and it was difficult to openly say my results. I mean, people were all doing so much worse off, and I really could sympathise with them. Which made me realise, hey, that I should be way satisfied with myself, even if my parents still aren't.
Back to Friday, once i got the chinese paper, i could suddenly feel sympathy for people like PK and KB and whoever, who so dearly needed marks to be pushed up a grade so their L1R5 would be ok for their desired JC. And to only have that feeling after mine were secured, i realise that's really selfish of me. So it's been really a week of reflection for me la.
I also realised, how easily i get pissed when i watch Arsenal play. Now they are firing on all cylinders, but when they go dry, I ll swear when watching again. And its not that they are playing badly, it's just now putting the ball into the net. Like 2 weeks ago when Reading drew with Man United, elaine told me that she was happy that they fought back to a draw. And me, for the first 2 Arsenal matches at the Emirates against weak teams which ended in draws, i got so fed up with watching them. What loyalty?, you might ask. And yeah, I ll try to be more accomodating in this aspect too.
At the end of the day, it just goes to show what has become of the Singapore Education System, when everything is so highly stressed on meritocracy. The field is there, but the school can't even allocate a slot for us boys to enjoy soccer, and for girls to enjoy captain's ball or what have they [haha..]. And moving on, I don't mean to be offending, but I have to say I am yet again sickened by the many people protesting about unfair marking and marking discrepancies. you know, I also used to have this feeling of unfairness, like last year when band 1 students for english for such pathetic marks compared to other people, and come to think of it, perhaps it was unfair; this year, Mdm Chan has certainly been stricter than other teachers, and it is definitely unfair. But the teachers have got it right this time round for prelims la, and hats off to them. I mean, they do sectional marking which is as good as it gets. If there is any discrepancy, it would be the marking of compositions, and that would be understandable. But to complain about chem and geog and in the process delay the finalizing of marks is unacceptable. This is probably making it very obvious, but such attitude from students is really sad. And when i saw patricia is 4/6 struggling to justify herself, i pitied her. yes. I mean, yeah, she aint a good teacher at all, Im pretty sure she ll be kicked back to teaching lower sec next yr, another 'ms ho', and to have to face 4/6 whose many claims I'm sure, have no grounds, is sad. ah, as sad as it is, it's the harsh reality of the education system nowadays. I can only imagine that more colourful exchanges will take place in JC.
Please, do something. <----------L5/ Purpose detected
I ll start way back.
Last Saturday. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling freaking down and sick. The previous day, I had this weird feeling in my throat whenever anything liquid ran over it. And this feeling was confirmed by Saturday. I had quite a fever, about 39.5 deg, and i had to lie in bed till 11am. Couldn't eat anything. Just drank the same old bland nutrient that is water. Then i tried eating porridge. Couldn't get 5 spoonfuls in before having the vommiting feeling. Shit it. Went back to bed till dinner. And it picked up at night. Wasn't feeling so giddy, and i ate fruits. The headache wasn't that bad, so i managed to catch the 10pm match, that was Arsenal away to Charlton. Conceded an early goal thanks [or no thanks] to sloppy defending and ball watching, and i thought, another frustrating away game. Thankfully, this is a changed team. They managed to beat Man U at Old Trafford, and they managed to come back thanks to 2 stunning goals from van Persie. Better news yet, Chelsea drew at home!
Ok, then to Monday, where i was still bothered by the fever. I was as good as a sitting duck during bio prac. What to do. But over the weekend, I sort of had mixed feelings. Of course, it sucks to be sick, but on the other hand, I also felt kind of lucky that this didn't take place during the preliminary examinations, and of course, not during the real deal.
The week seemed to sweep by. Every passing day we anticipated results. But as ANDERSON never fails to disappoint, it was delayed till Thursday. So Thursday was indeed set up as THE DAY.
On Wednesday night, I took some time during QT to reflect on the prelims [fine I'm lazy to keep continuing the proper english....], all the doubts, and whether i was over-confident for some subjects. Ok I ll admit it. I think if u sit anywhere near me, you ll know that I said many times that chem and EM were confirmed A1s. If u didn't read my past entry [shame on you!], i ll repeat. I doubted physics and bio for A1s. The biggest worry though, was failing chinese. And so, I really prayed, and prayed, for a very long time [by my standards at least, comparatively], that I could pass my chinese.
On thursday, fatefully, chinese was first. I got back the compo paper, 52/90, and i thought, ok, 48 for paper 2 will clinch it. It was OK. Then, when i got back my paper 2 and saw the 46.5/110, i was absolutely shocked. Many thoughts went through my head. At first, it was 'why now?' of all times to fail a subject, much less chinese! And i was selfishly asking people to help my find marks. Sorry CX, PK and erm, Kumby, haha. Then it started to sink in. I was really distraught. For half a day [you ll find out why later its HALF], I was not myself at all. I was making unreasonable comments, as the feeling of desperation sank in. Along the way I got back quite a few papers, and yeah, EM was indeed A1. Bio also fluked an A1. And I have to say I'm sorry, when people like PK and KB talked about my maths being 'sick' i took it as mocking my chinese, and got pissed. And Meijun said she saw me talk in such a critical way she had never seen before. yeah, after reading CX's entry, i realised half the person i was. [the other half is the half that gets equally pissed when Arsenal cannot get results, haha jk]. To top it all off, i even asked the question, 'why God?'. yes I admit it, that was how low i got, and that I've got so much to improve, as a person. Still, I ll like to give thanks to Mrs Allison Lim, who said some comforting words to me after i told her of my chinese, that a 49 will surely be moderated to 50, and yeah, it really calmed me down for awhile.
Then after recess, when i came back, someone told me Mr Tay added 3m to my paper2 chinese! Goodness me! I couldn't believe it. I have to say, I deserved the mark, but very seldom do you get luck as such. Relief suddenly flooded through me. The dream was alive. And boy was it decisive. Now, going back to the rest of results. AM was made extremely dramatic by me again. Paper 1, i got 50. In fact i was feeling quite OK, cos i was expecting to lose 35 marks. I totally wasn't ready for it on the first day. Then paper 2, was a 68, which after adding in the marks for the matrix qn which could not be done, the overall was a 78, A1. Bang it in. Geog was a foregone conclusion, at least for 4/7 students [no offence to those who fell short], but we outclassed the field la. Then chem. I was so confident about it, i expected to cruise to an A1. Turned out, i just scraped another 78 for it. Practical was horrible, and paper 2 saved me. And Weelic, all confident as ever, suprisingly fell short of an A1. That's how deceiving chemistry was. Physics, i felt, was the most difficult science. The MSG was so high la. [high = numerically high]. To get an A1 i was quite surprised, but by then it really didn't matter la, the R5 was settled liao. The day ended with combined humanities, and ooh! I went oh so close to getting back on track. SS was good with 39 but i got dragged down by history with 35 la leaving a total of 74. now gimme a break. Oh, and the most important subject, english, hopefully it gets an A2. The scenario is that i got 67, then managed to add 3 marks for compre, now you do the maths, and I hope that with mercy it will turn into an A2. But if it doesn't, its OK. I'm satisfied with my results. And it is good la. I'll give myself credit where it is due, and I think I ll take some time to work on the languages, time which is more relaxing, before its back to the rest, the sciences and maths. oh and geog.
I left Thursday feeling whether or not 8 would be enough for RJC, and then on Friday, i read CX's entry which is really a great one. And then I went to Hope on Saturday, and it was difficult to openly say my results. I mean, people were all doing so much worse off, and I really could sympathise with them. Which made me realise, hey, that I should be way satisfied with myself, even if my parents still aren't.
Back to Friday, once i got the chinese paper, i could suddenly feel sympathy for people like PK and KB and whoever, who so dearly needed marks to be pushed up a grade so their L1R5 would be ok for their desired JC. And to only have that feeling after mine were secured, i realise that's really selfish of me. So it's been really a week of reflection for me la.
I also realised, how easily i get pissed when i watch Arsenal play. Now they are firing on all cylinders, but when they go dry, I ll swear when watching again. And its not that they are playing badly, it's just now putting the ball into the net. Like 2 weeks ago when Reading drew with Man United, elaine told me that she was happy that they fought back to a draw. And me, for the first 2 Arsenal matches at the Emirates against weak teams which ended in draws, i got so fed up with watching them. What loyalty?, you might ask. And yeah, I ll try to be more accomodating in this aspect too.
At the end of the day, it just goes to show what has become of the Singapore Education System, when everything is so highly stressed on meritocracy. The field is there, but the school can't even allocate a slot for us boys to enjoy soccer, and for girls to enjoy captain's ball or what have they [haha..]. And moving on, I don't mean to be offending, but I have to say I am yet again sickened by the many people protesting about unfair marking and marking discrepancies. you know, I also used to have this feeling of unfairness, like last year when band 1 students for english for such pathetic marks compared to other people, and come to think of it, perhaps it was unfair; this year, Mdm Chan has certainly been stricter than other teachers, and it is definitely unfair. But the teachers have got it right this time round for prelims la, and hats off to them. I mean, they do sectional marking which is as good as it gets. If there is any discrepancy, it would be the marking of compositions, and that would be understandable. But to complain about chem and geog and in the process delay the finalizing of marks is unacceptable. This is probably making it very obvious, but such attitude from students is really sad. And when i saw patricia is 4/6 struggling to justify herself, i pitied her. yes. I mean, yeah, she aint a good teacher at all, Im pretty sure she ll be kicked back to teaching lower sec next yr, another 'ms ho', and to have to face 4/6 whose many claims I'm sure, have no grounds, is sad. ah, as sad as it is, it's the harsh reality of the education system nowadays. I can only imagine that more colourful exchanges will take place in JC.
Please, do something. <----------L5/ Purpose detected
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