I'll be leaving on the night on Thursday, the 7th, for Paris and then London and I'll only be back on the 18th. Which means........my CTs are pretty much screwed. But oh wells, I'm not rich enough to be able to cancel the trip and not feel guilty so I guess I'll just really enjoy myself there and relax myself.....away from notes and tutorials and cool (yes cool) textbooks. Yeah, I've decided I ain't going to bring any notes or textbooks or TYS or tutorials and what not. So I'll finally be able to spend time really the books which I really do enjoy reading (purely for the sake of it), i.e. football biographies (gonna read Jose's and Terry's), Philosophy books (those very simplified ones), and math storybooks on numbers, the one thing I find especially fascinating about math. It's going to be my first venture into Europe, and it's a long-awaited one. No disneyland and no theme parks, but I guess I've experienced enough of those, now it's time to appreciate the finer things in life that you can't experience in Singapore, such as the Louvre and Madame Tussauds'. Another thing that (if there is time and hopefully there will be) would be cool is to check out sporting arenas. This Sunday (will be in Paris by then) will be the final of Roland Garros (French Open - Tennis) and it will 99% be a Federer - Nadal final. Of course I won't be able to get a ticket, but I guess it would be cool to see the atmosphere around the stadium. Also during my time in London I'll be able to make a trip to my dear Arsenal's lovely new home - Emirates Stadium. (picture above, lol). Oh well, that's a lot of cool stuff I can't wait to see. Also, the usual overseas 'formalities'...kapoh-ing food from the airport lounge...vomiting on the plane (?), fitting into miserably small accommodation rooms, making the most out of 'free/provided' breakfasts...those are just typical stuff of my family. ANYWAY, back to CTs, and the reality is that I had planned to hardcore during the last week, but, owing to lack of urgency and in part my weakness, I just couldn't discipline myself to be in full-fledged studying mode. Sadly. So, I'm practically staring down the barrel of a bunch of disappointing results. But sigh, I only have myself to blame at the end of the day. If I was determined enough, probably rushing everything during the one week remaining after I return from the trip would be enough for me to scrap through with reasonable grades, but I know I won't. Yeah, maybe writing this will sort of like spur me on to make me eat my words, but (again) I know I won't. (I'm not even bothering to reduce it a "I doubt I will or something". Haha) But anyway, I'll enjoy myself in Europe, that I am sure. =)

Last Friday was Central Service! And I think it is indeed amazing for a district to reach Nexus already. It really is a breakthrough and looking through all the slides I really wished to be part of it, to have been part of the central family earlier...so I would really feel the taste of progress. But no la, Northeast is amazing too, and I'm sure they'll hold their own service in due course. yeah? Haha. Moving on, the speech Daniel made was very direct and true. The humour involved was minimal, but we were all fully focused on what he was saying, that Nexus is our 'set' target for now, for all groups be it JC, high school or NS. I really haven't been devoting much of my time to Him, but I'll really keep on trying. It is difficult asking people to come to church, sigh, but there's always that glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel to look out for.

Then that night, I just couldn't fall asleep. I was feeling so unwell. I was twisting and turning for the most part of the night, only being able to catch half-hours here and there. I finally vomited at 6 in the morning - all that i ate for dinner (which was at PS with the cg). After that, I felt ok. And then gradually, the giddiness came back again. And it lasted for the rest of the day. That sick feeling was just sucky. I had to stay in bed all day long, couldn't eat anything for breakfast or lunch (no appetite), and I was starting to feel all hot and sweaty. I feared dengue, but then my temperature did not go beyond 38.5, so I wasn't having a fever. So, I decided to persist and just fall asleep in bed instead of seeing a doctor. After all I think I would have felt much worse walking to the car, and would have been even more giddy in the car. So, it just didn't look like getting any better. I was praying, and then suddenly by 5pm I was able to start walking again, and by the night I was ok to watch TV and read books again. [My opportunity cost of studying]. Thank God for that. At the peak of my short spite of giddiness, I was even contemplating the fact that I would not be able to go on the trip. I guess that's just the typical pessimism I have.

Speaking of worries. I have been worrying a lot lately. I worry about my health. Whether, eating so much cereal and Weetbix will result in cancer. Whether, my retina might just drop off anyway. Whether, eczema is a prelude to something very serious. Whether, I will get cancer because my gums are not well (there WAS this Mind Your Body article this week about this..). I worry about my parents too, especially my dad. His myopia is quite bad, I worry everytime he has to drive back home from work and it's already past 7. I'm saying why not take the bus? Why not even take a taxi? And then I'll refute the second point cause I know it's too expensive and I'm a cheapskate. Recently my mom just told me of a scary threatening phone call to my cousins living in Penang. Sigh, why do such evil people exist in this world? And why is their law enforcement there so corrupted? Oh whatever. I'm just thankful that Singapore is such a safe place. And it would be a safe place even if there is strong opposition to the ruling party. It's the foundations which matter.

Anyway then on Monday there was PW. Only like 12 people turned up and we had to wait like half an hour in the stuffy area outside the comp. labs, and it was really frustrating and sweaty. lol. We really could (and should) have had a class breakfast. My group finally made great progress (at least I think)! But alas, there is still a long long way to go. After that met with Weelic and Cybil who were studying at the library, went to borrow some books about french and some math books. [Math books doesn't mean math textbooks here duh.], then went for lunch and back to school to see Jun Jie screw up at Chinese Chess...aha. So yesterday night and this morning, I have finally [or perhaps I'm just saying this to make myself feel good / show-off] shown some signs that I CAN study hard enough for CTs...did revision of Math and Chem and managed to do a few long-winded energetics questions. Now the thing is doing them fast enough, sigh. Speed is always my no.1 enemy for exams. Or should I say, time. So anyway, I was doing well for 1 night and 1 morning and I was going to continue it into the afternoon until bang-on-the-nail there had to a complete hacking down of the house above mine. The noise was like so loud, I couldn't talk on the phone, watch TV, study, read books, or do anything I thought was meaningful use of time. It was frustrating to let that momentum go. Cause it takes a lot to get me into that willing-and able-to-study mode. So I went down to the management office and asked why on earth the thing took place so abruptly without even any asking if any date was suitable. And thankfully he responded very nicely which made me decide to hold my frustration and just get on with life [nothing he could really do anyway]. So I just spent the afternoon running and then going to the gym downstairs and [the best part of it] bathing at the pool bathroom which means saving a few cents off my water bill. lol. And so that's how the pitiful day came to an end. At night I just wasted it chatting on the phone and reading some books and watching a bit of French Open, Federer's quarter final match. You see? Momentum lost. So much so for learning principle of conservation of momentum, I wonder where all that has gone to.

Ah. I've recently read some this interesting book about sleeping well and beds. (Cause there were some occasions where I've tried sleeping early and couldn't). And I decided I will try to change a few things. The book mentioned that the bed should only be used for sleeping and sex. So, fair enough. Only sleeping for me. I will do my reading of books/notes/work on some slightly-more-uncomfortable surface. I suppose the idea of it is all about relativity (not THAT relativity, but), making your bed feel relatively more comfortable. It also mentioned no afternoon naps. Sigh, I don't know how I am going to be able to avoid afternoon naps and watch champions league matches...but I guess I'll just have to reach a compromise eventually. Indeed, almost everything in life is relative. It has to be balanced with realism too. And then pessimism (so things don't become too realistic). Ah, I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Let's talk about soccer.

It's all pretty sad stuff in this entry today really. But I'll try to change it. The champions league was over long ago, but I must talk about it. England had 3 teams in the semi-finals. Chelsea. Liverpool. Manchester. No Arsenal in there, and everyone was saying how Arsenal have been 'left behind' and 'trailing'. What nonsense, since not one of those clubs managed to win it. Ahaha. I was really hoping for a Milan win and boy they did they do me proud. Yet again like last year, it was 2-1. Yet again, the team which dominated lost. This time the victims weren't Arsenal, they were Liverpool, the team with the supposed 'winning culture'. And even that couldn't lift them in the grandest stage of all club football at Athens. They lacked cutting edge and were simply outclassed by Milan. Ah, just as I declared when Italy beat Germany en route to winning the World Cup last year in Berlin, FORZA ITALIA.

Lastly, I recently got links from friends to some blogs by local students, with shocking content. I guess Singapore does indeed have some very extreme personalities who lead very extreme lives. Ah, while it's sad so know that such who commit such disgusting acts exist amongst us students in Singapore, I do admire the openness they have in describing explicitly the lives that they lead. After all, blogging is a freedom of speech. What wrong is there to offend yourself?