Now is our time.

Hamilton - Arrogant and ungrateful.

2008-11-04T19:47:00.003+08:00

I read some daily sports news, and some of it just makes me dismayed. Lewis Hamilton - the guy everyone is talking about being the 'next big British sports icon' - has shown himself to me to be nothing more than someone who is arrogant and aloof and not grateful how lucky he is to have been brought up in an environment like he had. I thought I was the only one who thought so. Apparently not. His success seems to have 'polarized Britain' (amazing inflated language) according to Sportscenter, which I was pleasantly surprised to hear. But rightly so. His attitude and words have certainly tarnished many people's already bad impression of British as being a bunch of self-centred people who think, among other things, that winning football tournaments is their birthright because Britain is 'the home of football'. He had stolen the drivers' championship on the final lap due to a mistake (yes purely a mistake) by another driver. And his first words to the world, something along the lines of 'I'm amazed '(a la Ronaldo's "I always knew I would be the world's best I just didn't expect it to come so soon"), "Thank you team, thank you family", then "I'm gunning for more". Obviously, Felipe Massa was completely on the back of his mind.

Let's shift our minds back to wimbledon. 2007 - Federer beat Nadal in an epic 5-setter. Fed's first words - congrats Rafa, you could easily have won it. 2008 - Nadal beat Federer in an even closer 5-setter in what could well have been the best tennis match ever. Nadal's first words - "I want to congratulate Roger for playing such a great match", and Federer's first words in return - "Rafa's a deserving champion", which must have hurt his ego deeply. Tennis is so privileged to have 2 top-notch sportsmen at the top of their game (and I come to respect Rafa right up there with R Fed). I wonder if up-and-coming Andy Murray (another Brit) can match their humility. Golf has had Tiger. And if F1 is having Lewis, it is sad indeed.

Back to Lewis. I'm not even an avid follower of F1 or anything, but it is just so clear how pampered he is. With Alonso in the team last year, they both had feuds throughout the season and to be fair, Alonso is competitive but I don't think he for one went overboard. Yet through the British press, he was adjudged to be splitting Mc Claren apart and as expected, was asked to leave the team at the end of the season. Surprise surprise - Kimi Raikkonen won the 2007 championship but all everyone talked about was how "awfully close" Hamilton came. And I haven't even talked about Hamilton's on-the-track antics, he is one who drives like the track is made for one car only, but anyway, I think I've made my point. Let's look at Massa now. His first words were that the team did their best to support him and congratulations to Lewis. Very notably, he said "I know how to win and I know how to lose". Fair play to him, I think there is a lot more to be learnt from Massa's reaction, than from Hamilton setting his eyes on yet another milestone (that would be absolutely forgotten when I die). If you think about it, many sportsmen are remembered more for their character than their sporting feats. So too, will be how we would be remembered.

We have a lot to learn from people like Federer, like Nadal, like Massa, than from people like Hamilton. Losing reveals one's true colours, something I've been reminded of. Thinking of Arsenal now makes me sad. Sad at how weak the team is, as much as team spirit can make up there is no denying that. Sad at how Wenger, who has made so many right decisions during his legacy here, has made a big hash of it this time round. Yet, I think this is a time that people will see the true colours of Arsenal - and their fans too. As much as people complain about how the manager is not able to wake up to reality, we fans have to wake up too. Now is a time to see the true colours about everyone involved. Same thing too for anyone facing failure or disappointment, or even success or good fortune.

Will you be a Hamilton, or will you be a Federer / Nadal?

How far we've come.

2008-10-09T00:07:00.002+08:00

Change of template is impending...Arsenal was and forever will be a big part of my life, but well, there are bigger stuff in store for me, and so I feel it should be reflected through my blog too. The team may be struggling on the pitch now, but the club still endears so fondly to me for one who sticks firmly to it's beliefs and philisophy, both in terms of football (joga bonito!) and in terms of the business side of the game-long term development, investing in youth rather than take massive debt to buy big-name players- and until that stops, Arsenal is the only club I truly support. (Btw, it has been reported that EPL clubs have amassed approx. 3b in debt. May not sound big but when you consider the most expensive transfer ever is still 'only' 34M odd for Robinho, you really wonder how on earth the debts came about!)

So anyway, this temporary skin of nothingness shall serve me for time being. When I look back, I will remember only the content, so let's focus on the content. Looking back on the year, time really flies. All those times I had pledged to myself that 'there would be sufficient time to brush up everything' - with regards to tidying up my room, arranging my notes, worksheets and other pieces of paper, getting myself fit and able to run faster (I haven't been able to), having a good grasp of most of the syllabus, backing up my files, and finishing the Bible - have all turned out to be empty talk. It's already October, in less than a month's time, 'A' levels will be begin; in less than 2 months' time, it will be over. So would the US presidency. So would (hopefully) the global financial-snowballed-into-economic crisis, and Arsenal's premier league hunt (hopefully not). It would seem that, the world would come to a standstill for many of us, very very soon. All the things we wanted to do, we would be able to finally do. Or would we?

Truth is, we never will. For it is human nature that makes us just always want to do that extra bit more, that time inevitably restricts. For the people in this world with 'good' time management, they manage to do a lot, and they will very likely achieve a lot, and they will be perceived as having been successful, when deep down, every one of them will have felt that there was that something extra that should have been done. I remember watching many people interviewed on TV programmes, mostly successful people, and when asked if there was something they could have changed about the way they spent their lives up prior to that day itself, there are of course the usual 'big mistakes' they made in the past, but by and large most of them would not change anything because of the experiences they have gone through, and the mistakes they've made have contributed to that experience. In a way, you have to agree with that - there is so much that can be changed, but if you had the opportunity to turn back time and change things, there would have been that extra thing that needed to be changed.

1. [Philippians 3:13] But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead

The past really doesn't matter as much anymore. I know of a lot of people who hang on to their past. If their past was bad, they always like to refer back to it and show how much they have grown since then. I think it's a great reminder and comforter when they need it, but really, we should always be looking ahead. Then there are people who have had an excellent past, and they pride themselves on it. It's perfectly permissible, so long as they themselves don't get caught up in it that it distracts them from looking ahead and striving for their best possible future.

Noticed I've used the word 'they' above. This has been something on my mind too, and admittedly I think I'm very guilty of both in various aspects of my life. I always think about when I had the first breakthrough in an area, and then think forward from there, and I realise that very often, nothing really follows it much. And in light of what I've said, I think it speaks of me being quite the hypocrite. Argh, placing God's agenda as my first priority seems to be a basic problem that always comes back to be something I'm guilty of. This month will be a good opportunity for me to tackle it head on again. Once again, being a CL has been such an undeserved privilege through these times, it has ensured that I'm very quickly put back on track everytime I lose my focus. I think a good judge of a leader is how one would react if he/she didn't have the position or isn't recognised as one. I'm pretty sure Gallas would sulk till the cows come home. Stefani Schaeffer did not, despite being on a show where it is so tempted to overdo things will attempting to impress your team and your boss. And because of that, she won the Apprentice. I think in the next month or do, as a j2 I will be given quite a lot of leeway. Studying will become a big part of my ministry, and I will very likely not be pushed or challenged as much as I have been. It is all quite scary, and I don't think past experience counts for anything. It will be an all new battle, and a very tough one. Inevitably, I will come out of saying I could have handled my time better during this period. But I don't want to be sorry to myself for bringing others down with me. It's really all up to myself now, and I'd best start preparing my heart right now.

I think my heart can be described as having goosebumps as I type this - a sense of anxiety tinged with that of thrill and excitement. It's like the day before an exam. You just can't get it out of your head that you can't bring yourself to do anything until it's over. So bring on the next month man!

**On a side note, here's another of the type of articles that really sparked my interest in economics, statistics, and to a certain extent, psychology. Whoever's reading this, let's not stop fighting the fight! Know what you're fighting for, be it As, uni stuff, NS stuff, outreaching, and forever remind yourself of it everytime doubt and/or the thought of giving up creeps in.

A SAD, SAD DAY FOR FOOTBALL.

2008-09-02T23:33:00.003+08:00

So today was transfer deadline day across European markets. And if anything it has really plunged football into deeper, darker realms. Contracts no longer mean much, player power has increased to an extent that is way too unhealthy. If there was anything that was positive about it, it is that Arsenal are not involved in any of this craziness.

Firstly, Berbatov, who was still contracted to Tottenham, insisted on a move to Man United. Make no mistake, I think it's great that a player has ambitions to achieve greater successes, but he should have considered that when he signed a contract a couple of years back. If a club wants a player, it's up to the club, not the player, to take the initiative. The player of course can express interest as well, but he should still always honour his contract at the same time. Drogba was stretching it when he kept insisting that he wanted to leave Chelsea, but at least he didn't let it affect his performances on the pitch - he got them to a champions league final. Berbatov however, was, as the press likes to use all too often, "unsettled". For a long time, Man United had been unable to match Tottenham's valuation of Berbatov. Yet, the constant speculation around it meant that Tottenham's plans were completely disrupted. Being the star player of the team, it meant that whether or not he would be playing for Tottenham next season would have a huge influence of the manager's plans and strategy. And it showed - 2 defeats in 2 against 2 teams that had far fewer quality players. As an Arsenal fan I'm laughing away, but as someone who respects the ethics of football I feel for them. And just today, Berbatov has left for Man United. Sure, they got the replacements in, they got the money too. All 30.5M pounds of it (which reminds me of Shevchenko). But it was because had they not made the deal, they would have been left with a useless and unmotivated Berbatov. The ridiculously huge amount paid is a sad thing in itself, what was worst was the way Berbatov acted throughout this whole scenario, and how his club was simply powerless despite the contract they had on him.

Berbatov is not the only one, of course. United's own Cristiano Ronaldo was subject to ridiculous treatment by the Spanish press and Real Madrid. The way the Spanish do it, is that they relay the news that they want a transfer for a player to the tabloids, and then let the tabloids do the rest - publish twisted translations of interviews, which results in a chain reaction of press speculation and unsettling of the players. Ronaldo isn't the only one. For years they tried the same trick on Vieira and Henry. Well Barcelona did get Henry in the end, but by then he was in decline already. It is just miserable the way the Spanish press do it, with regards to transfers. The fact that Ronaldo did not successfully move to Real Madrid delights me, ironically, despite the fact that he will rip premier league defences apart on the way another title. So, player power and influence is getting ridiculous now. It seems now player can be more important than a club, even for the biggest club in the world. That's sad.

I haven't even talked about the money. Clubs, agents are greedier now. That I can understand. But players now have fallen down that pathway. For them, ambition is now based on how much they are going to earn. Case in point no.1: Andrei Arshavin. He was a huge star at Euro 2008, and was wanted by top clubs in Europe, including Barcelona, Tottenham, and Arsenal. He had the choice to leave - his manager had let him. And yet, because he insisted on a transfer fee high enough that he would receive a significant amount of compensation from it, any move failed to materialize. And now, he is left with Zenit St. Petersburg which is no doubt a decent club, but his potential will never be stretched or realized compared to if he had joined one of those clubs above.

Transfer fees are now in excesses of 25-30M. This year it's shocking the amount some mediocre clubs have paid for mediocre players. Andy Johnson to Fulham for 13M, Jo for 18M, Robbie Keane for 20M odd, all sounds just utterly crazy to me. They are good players, but certainly no where near the amount the clubs have paid for them. And now there's a new player on the block. Just when we thought Man City would run of cash after the political trouble that Thaksin is faced with, in comes a UAE consortium and right away, money is being spent like Middle-East oil, like Beijing's fireworks. And they've got Robinho, who earlier in the day insisted he wanted a move to Chelsea (yet another case of player power). So much so for wanting to play for Scolari's new "samba-style" team when the money is put on the table. Of course the excuse of "Premier League experience being one that cannot be turned down" will pop up. This is exactly similar to Ryan Babel last year, who said he dreamed of playing for Arsenal, and would even wait till an offer is made for him, until Liverpool came in.

At the end of all this, I am glad to be an Arsenal fan. The supposed class that Manchester and Liverpool was assumed to have, that Chelsea did not seems to be eroding fast. While I am of course frustrated that the squad is severely weak, it was probably because there was no one which was available at a reasonable price. We might well finish 5th or 6th this year with the riduculous sums other clubs have spent, but at least we will have that surplus which will lead to good long-run growth. All this, while I am still waiting for a "tragedy story" to appear when one of these owners lose their patience when they realize there is no way that fans can be satisfied except for more and more big-money transfers. I read that for the first time on Sky Sports, fans are calling for Wenger to leave. So be it then, fickle-minded fans. We will have lost many supporters I feel, because of our transfer activity (or rather, lack of) this term, but at least we have stuck to the very principles and foundations that have brought us from a no-name club one that is top-8 in Europe and the one that reaps the highest year-on-year profits, even after excluding transfer fees.

On a final note, Fabregas has been a fine example for everyone. I don't know how significant his 8-year contract might be if one day, he decides he wants to move on, but for now, I think he deserves so much admiration and praise for the attitude and gratefulness he shows. The fact that he is one of the best midfielders in the world is but a bonus.

WIMBLEDON FINAL

2008-07-08T15:13:00.002+08:00

WIMBLEDON FINAL.

It was for sure the most exciting match I've ever watched and probably the same can be said of most people in my generation. Whether it signals a changing of the guard in tennis remains to be seen, but the match has to be the focus now.

For one, it started at 9.30pm here (2pm in London), and ended at around 9pm in London (4am here). I did sleep awhile after the first rain delay, but thank goodness I suddenly woke up in time with the gut feeling that I was going to witness something special. I was rooting for Federer all the way, but towards the end, I was feeling sympathy for Nadal too, if he had lost he would have needed a long time to recover. As it was, Nadal won, but Federer showed his true colours and why I will continue to admire him.

He showed amazing grit and determination. At the first rain delay, he was 6-4, 6-4, 4-5 down with Nadal to serve. Nadal was playing fine stuff, but he had been completely out-of-sorts, the windy conditions wrecking havoc on his game. When he went in to the locker room, he could have just said to himself, 'I've blown my chance this year. No one comes back against Nadal from 2 sets down, I could just go out there and lose the 3rd set and the match in a few minutes time and reflect on what went wrong' But no, that was not Federer. He came back a changed man mentally, and he never once buckled under the immense pressure of losing one would be if he/she was on the brink of defeat in a final, as he was. Nadal was playing so well, he was overwhelming Federer. But Federer hung on. He struggled, but he struggled powerfully. He took the 3rd set by a whisker, and in the 4th set, produced some stunning shots in the tie-breaker to level the match at 2 sets apiece, including a graceful backhand pass on match point. He brought the match into a decider despite being totally outplayed on many rallies by Nadal. He was far from his best, but he never once doubted himself and used whatever form he had that day to the best of it. Pity there was no 5th set tie-breaker.

Federer was also very humble in defeat. Anyone could see after he lost that 5th set, that he was totally broken inside. Yet, he maintained dignity in defeat. There was so many things he could have blamed. The weather, the winds, they were against him. Towards the end the light was so bad, that surely would have affected him. Time after time Nadal took so much time in between points, more than the alloted 20 seconds, and it surely interrupted his momentum, but the umpire did nothing. If each of these factors had not taken place, he would surely have won. As it was, he never used any of them as an excuse. He praised Nadal and called him a deserving champion, something which, while many of us would agree, must have been hard for him to admit.

While Nadal would very likely take up the no.1 mantle soon, I think it's time people recognise Federer not just for the great tennis player he is, but the great person he is as well. History may remember him for winning 12 (and counting) grand slams, but I, and others who have witnessed his matches and post-match comments, would remember him for his gracefulness and humility.

I may not be able to emulate his tennis, but I would surely give my all to emulate his off-the-court qualities.

Well, that's it for tennis for now, until Australian Open and Wimbledon next year, as those are the only two tournaments where it is convenient to watch tennis. But wait, I won't be able to watch next year because of NS. Hopefully this year's spectacle will never be matched again. As for now, it's all geared on studying, serving, and sleeping 24/7. Until the BPL starts again. Thinking about it, the BPL would start approx. when the restructuring project reaches it deadline. Let it be a perfect way to reward myself.

2008-06-27T23:58:00.004+08:00

It's only six weeks since the holidays, and two since camp, but boy oh boy has it been such a wonderful six weeks of growth for me.

If I could trace it back, there were two highlights - the JC district prayermeet, and camp (of course!).

During the prayermeet, I really felt God move in me as everyone prayed for the few of us to step up to be CLs. yeah. It was just so real, the way he pointed out that I would have to change so many aspects of my life. I went home, and for a couple of days after that, I really reflected on the prayermeet, and God really elaborated upon a lot of things. I drew up a list of things which I would need to improve on, which included ridding the predispositions I have of some people, better time management, and also outreaching more. It may sound like the typical stuff any average person could improve on, but the difference was that I had set many specific targets, and placed many light sticks to follow in order to tread the right path. And, most importantly, I was a lot more determined to do it, not because being a CL requires a lot more responsibility than just a seed member (which it does of course), but because God really spoke into me and placed a burden for many many of my weaknesses, with the need to improve them, as well as for other things of this world, people, events. what have you. It was building, I think. There was unit meeting about developing a vision and conviction, and I really wanted one, but it just didn't come to me explicitly in the few days after. But then, many things just came together in the few days after that district prayermeet.

And then there was OASIS camp. It was the first camp where I was able to attend all 4 days of it. And it was only after that I had realised how much I had missed out during the 4 previous camps. The 3rd night was indeed the climax, but it was only because the previous nights had praise and worship, sermons, prayer time, and most importantly response time, to establish the platform for the 3rd night. And this was what I had missed out, and why my 3rd nights at other camps wasn't as impactful. The heart, soul, and mind need to be built up strong.

Camp was also a time where we got to know new people placed in our caregroups due to restructuring, and also, being a CL. In a way, the more I think about it, the more it is apparent that all these roles are really privileges, and not by default, or based on any merit or skills, but really by God's grace. And I suppose, having reached that conclusion, there is no need to worry about it any more. Throughout the camp I have grown lots, be it from the praise and worship, the workshops, or the teachings. And, of course, the games as well. If it's something not apparent enough already in this world, it's the increasing enthusiasm and potential that the youth hold for the future, something displayed very clearly during the war games. Hats off to games comm. for their planning and improvising to enhance the experience of camp. Also, the games were the perfect example of 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 which was touched on 3rd night,about the importance of having a winning mentality.

Another thing I learnt was about the camp culture of staying up late, and having good heart-to-heart conversations with our fellow members of Hope. Okay, maybe night 1's fellowship by watching Netherlands beat Italy wasn't exactly appropriate, but the rest of the night time was really fellowship to the max as the schedule wrote. So, yeah, this is another aspect of camp I had never experienced before. And I find the time really flies in the night and before you know it it's almost 5. Inevitably, this meant sleepy moments but amazingly I was focused during the night teachings and response, and when we gathered as a caregroup, and then in our schools for sharing.

Finally, this camp has impacted many lives. I see very clearly how some people in the group have really changed. During camp, people are so open, so honest, and so willing to improve. But I have to be selfish here, I want to be able to proudly declare that I have grown more than them. Not for the sake of comparing, but because I think I warrant it. And such a declaration can only be possible if I'm not a hypocrite, if my actions live up to my promises.

So all in all, the next 58 days of this restructuring is going to be tough all the way. The days are evil, so evil, they are numbered. But through the camp-revitalized ca2, I see a group of people who are all on fire for cg08 already, with little problems of committment and priorities. It's just like 07-08's Man United, a team of not just 11 top players, but a bench full of quality and able to do just as well. And the thing about that team was, the captain's role was no doubt important, but not the main reason why they were successful. That accolade goes to the mutual competition that the squad had which drove everyone to keep doing better. This coming from an Arsenal pureblood.

The skills of group members will improve, but that comes naturally if everyone understands why they need to have those skills.

So, while I haven't had the best preparation for the just-finished CT2, and so my results would probably not match those of previous tests, that is not the concern because I've put in effort for the gold medal that lasts eternally and will not tarnish one bit. And I am sure because of this, the upturn will come as these achievements will become stepping stones for the vision that we have.

I was absolutely delighted when Arsenal completed a season unbeaten in 03-04, as when Federer beat Nadal in last year's Wimbledon. Even more delighted was I when I got back prelim results and O level results. But come the end of 58 days later, I think the delight I experience will top all that. Not because Arsenal would be top of the league, Federer won wimbledon again and I would be fully prepared to ace prelims (which hey, are already very likely...=the first two at least, haha), but because these 58 days are going exciting days of outreaching, outreaching, outreaching, discipleship, leading, and learning. And stepping way out of my comfort zone than I could ever fathom.

2008-05-10T22:43:00.003+08:00

DRAWING PARALLELS.

Just read an article in SATURDAY. It was an interview with a Nobel laureate which was very insightful, it was a pity its title choose to emphasize the fact that he got a D in chemistry in class (like how uncommon is it to see successful people have a bad start, oh well).

Anyway, he is Professor Peter Courtland, and he is very passionate about promoting science among the young. Among his responses, he mentioned that he offered to trade in his Nobel Prize for two weeks on The Colbert Report. Why? Because the show is watched by throngs of people that he would have been able to give a great exhibition of science to the public, and dispel many predispositions which young people had towards science. He also said he considered running for the Senate in 2004, so that he could make a difference with such a position of influence. He also advised scientists who have already reached the upper echelons of science to have a go at politics, for similar reasons.

And throughout reading the article, Xiang's talk with the unit about a month ago was at the back of my head. For the professor, he wanted to use platforms where he could influence to make a difference, to show many people the side of science they never knew. Likewise, if God's people were to hold such positions of influence or publicize themselves through mediums which have very wide coverages, imagine what a difference they could make!

Regarding mediums which have wide reaches, there are many. There is MTV, which Xiang talked about in her vision. Of course, TV shows are one of the best examples of such mediums. Why was Singapore 's video clip to be shown before the IOC made their decision to give the 2012 Olympics to London treated so seriously? It was because virtually the whole world's eyes were on Singapore. Yes, eagerly anticipating that decision, but the fact that the clip was scheduled to be aired just before that made all the difference, with reports saying that the video clip is worth billions in advertising terms.

Of course, the medium which stirs up much interest in me is that of sports. In particular, soccer. Many of us just have an inherent liking for one sport or another. And even though we only get to watch it on TV, we are awed by it. For example, I probably couldn't stand a moment away from the TV if Arsenal were to be playing in the champions league final (which they SHOULD be, but nevertheless this is irrelevant here). And football stars are huge idols which people look up to nowadays. When Drogba told people in his homeland, Cote de' Voire, to stop the internal civil strife and unite as one to support the nation's football team, the people listened - and the conflict is now reduced dramatically. When Zidane delivered that shocking headbutt in the world cup final, people criticized him badly for the negative impact it would have on audiences. (and, people DO follow him, just look at what Nani did last week). And even more recently, in TIME magazines list of 100, there was but one footballer. It wasn't Drogba. It obviously wasn't Zidane, and it wasn't Cristiano Ronaldo either.

It was Kaka. And yes, he is indeed one of the most skillful players on the planet, but that wasn't the only reason he got into the list. It is his exploits outside of football, that he has used his status of being of the best players on the planet to achieve, that has got him onto the list. For one, he is an ambassador of the UN, influencing many people in poverty. And of course, he is a very evangelical christian. Apart from the joy of seeing Liverpool lose, I learnt so much more from last year's champions league final. After Milan won, he took of his shirt to reveal the words 'I belong to Jesus', and the following quote from a premier league player says it all:

I might question whether soccer stadiums are the right venue for promoting religion, but in an age in which many professional athletes care more about cars, women and controversy, it's refreshing to see one who is committed to having a positive impact on the world around him.

It is indeed so refreshing to see someone like Kaka. Now he just needs to make the decision to come to Arsenal, the team who plays football in its purest form. =p

Anyway, I have cited so many examples of people making the best of their status to influence others. And this is really something which I want to emulate. Right now, of course, my heart is saying football is the medium in which I want to cause much influence. But how? I have no idea. Obviously, I will not be a professional player, unless I do a Dave Kitson. Perhaps I could be Jose Mourinho's expansion pack with my sarcastic and critical tone. Now that would be the joke of the century. But oh well, whatever comes calling, be it in politics, business, or even in science, I really want to be able to influence others in the future. Right now, obviously I have inclinations towards certain areas, but the finish line is still an absolute blur. So please, pray that there will be signs for me, and that I would not be afraid to step out of my comfort zone in whatever I'm asked to do.

Lastly, to end of, I feel it is of course important to enjoy this journey. A couple of weeks ago on American Idol, one of the biggest shocks took place when Carly was eliminated despite producing at the very least, the 2nd best performance during the previous night. Well, that's democracy for you. Nevertheless, many have speculated that it was because of the song she sang, 'Jesus Christ Superstar', that caused her to lose votes from the people who do not have a personal relationship with God. And we will never know if it was because of that, or because ABC intentionally rigged the votes to make supporters even more fearful and so would end up voting more for their favourites and thus contribute more revenue to the company. The point was that Carly had no regrets with her song choice, unlike some other eliminated contestants who admitted they messed up their song choices. Carly was determined to use the opportunity she had on Idol. And she succeeded. She entertained, she enjoyed herself, and even Simon had nothing but praise for her. Never mind that she's out, she had no regrets and did not feel disappointed at all. God must have been so proud of her.

That's the kind of spirit that I want to have.

2008-04-18T23:34:00.002+08:00

THE END OF A BUSY WEEK.

Reprise is over, and with that much of RJGE.
All of SPA is finally over.
No more trips to NUS on Monday and Thurdays.

Ah, suddenly, I'm going to be so free. Next week will really be unreal. Yes, I'm lagging big time on the tutorials and stuff but boy, the thing I need now is sleep, which I'll finally be able to get after a week in which I was enervated more and more each day.

First, Reprise really turned out great, I think. To be honest I doubted ticket sales would be good, not just because of the weird day it was held but generally because I doubted guitar would be that popular among students. But we were able to get a sell-out, which was wonderful, and from what I've heard most people who attended the concert enjoyed it thoroughly, even though the main ensemble songs were kind of short. And the spongebob encore was really just funny.

I have to say that I was pretty slack in guitar last year, not really bothering to practise much at home and just attending pracs. for the sake of it. But at least this year, despite being unable to attend monday pracs. due to H3, I've put in a concerted effort to practise the concert pieces. And the feeling of being able to play it during concert was really just wonderful - that sense of achievement. Apart from the final set of chords for Grenada which I just cannot shift fast enough, I've been able to learn and play the the other 3 pieces well enough, at least in my opinion, and it's a good feeling to have.

Tomorrow I'll finally be able to go for service again and enough though it's like only a week it feels like a long long time since I've been able to attend a praise and worship session and boy do I miss that quality atmosphere that is unmatched in Nexus.

Anyway, one thing that is not over though is NAPFA, thanks to sit and reach, a station where few people have problems in general, and one area which I certainly did not expect to be my 'limiting factor'. But oh well, a lack of stretching and doing sit-ups and jumps before that can really be significant. I shall look to the improvement in pull-ups to inspire me to stretch more and overcome the pain barrier.

Football now, and we lost to united in a match which has been typical of our slump: dominance but with nothing to show for. We certainly had no one to blame but ourselves. We even had a huge slice of luck when Adebayor smartly stuck out his elbow to direct the ball into the net. But then just like the past few weeks going ahead was the cue to hit the self-destruct button, and so now we are left with 4 games with no pressure, and plenty of time for the disappointment to sink in. Nevertheless, credit united. If it is not Arsenal, then it has to be them, for only they play football anywhere near the way Arsenal play it, the way it should be played. As a pundit aptly described the Liverpool Arsenal match: Beauty and the beast went head to head and sad to say, the beast won, thanks to its reputation. I will have no favourites but surely if I could pick winners then I would certainly want united to do the double this year. (shocking?)

I guess this year is still a big improvement from last year, where we were in such a position in February. They had such a long time for the disappointment to sink in, and hopefully despite the shorter time they have this season they will still reflect and improve for next year.

Really glad to get through this week, and now for much needed sleep.

2008-04-09T18:43:00.003+08:00

AND THE SEASON IS OVER FOR US. OR MORE OR LESS SO.

The 4-2 defeat means we are out of the champions league, and with the blown points against rubbish teams over the last few weeks, it means there is probably nothing left to play for. It is disappointing, after the fine first half to the season which the youngsters had.

Yet, there was so much more to the scoreline. 1-1 at the Emirates last week meant that a score draw of 2-2 or more would have sent us through to the next round. And it was 2-2, with 6 minutes to go, until things conspired horribly wrong against us. The liverpool fans were stunned. It was at Anfield. And the 12th man won the game for Liverpool.

Not the Kop, not the Liverpool fans who will be counting their lucky stars, but the referee. He gave a penalty that never was. Never. The shock look on Gerrard said it all; he coudln't believe the luck his team was getting. It was the second get-out-of-jail card Liverpool had drawn from the Chance pile. It was the second 'GO TO JAIL, DO NOT PASS START' card Arsenal drew from the Chance pile. What a shocker. And Gerrard duly dispatched the penalty away. The Liverpool fans went wild. Fair enough.

Where is the consistency in football? Where?
There is so much talk of match fixing and 'bungs' undermining the integrity of the game, when really, it is such clear inherent double standards that tarnish the integrity of the game far more. Arsene Wenger said after the match about 'injustice' being dealt to his team. And i don't know. Maybe UEFA will spend more efforts into investigating whether his comments are ruining the integrity of the game, rather than the decision itself, which is just farcical.

Rafael Benitez choose only to praise his team's determination to come back after the tie seemed out of their grasp. This was the same Rafael Benitez who said 'How can the referee do such a thing? How can the referee change the complexion of the game after we were dominating the entire match before that?' when Rob Styles awarded Chelsea another penalty that never was when Liverpool played Chelsea earlier in the season. Fair enough, luck comes and go. But this is not just luck. We've had none of it recently. Against Birmingham, we conceded a penalty that never was in the last minute: replays showed Clichy had clearly got the ball. Against Middlesbrough, a perfectly legal goal was disallowed for offside incorrectly.

And it is shocking that such huge mistakes occur during the most important of matches. This match aside, the World Cup 2002 in South Korea and Japan was another shocker. Maybe we should not be so surprised. The reality is that double standards have existed all the while, what with tackles warranting yellow cards and stuff. But when it leads to goals, the most pivotal thing in a football game, then people stand up and take notice.

And what with consequences? I fully agree with what Sir Alex Ferguson said when his team were hard done by against Portsmouth, by a refereeing decision that effectively cost his team the FA Cup. Ferguson said that "That referee will referee another match again next week." Where is the check and balance system which will ensure referees are on the top of their game as well? Sure, some associations impose bans on referees - they are suspended from refereeing the next match or something. But does it work? How much do referees reflect on their mistakes? Do they feel guilty? I'm pretty sure they do. But is that good enough a factor to make them more alert during matches?

I feel referees should be rated by a panel after each match. And their performances should be published weekly. We have a player rating system. We have a league table. We have statistics which rank players' miles clocked up, passes made. Why not referees. Because then we would really come to appreciate those who have truly done their job well.

It's one thing getting knocked out of the champions league due to 2 clear-cut mistakes. I'm not feeling too down about that. Besides, I have to be honest. I doubt we would have been able to overcome Chelsea. And in any case, Liverpool will probably collide with Man United in the final, and they will experience how it feels to have a match sucked away from you because your opponents are more illustrious. What I hope to see is a thorough evaluation of what went wrong at Anfield and at the Emirates. And people who have made mistakes should be accountable for their mistakes. Referees are people who demand respect right away just because of the important position that they have in a match. They should earn this respect by apologising for their errors, and acknowledging their mistakes. This, for the betterment of a game which represents so much in a world where double standards exist everywhere.

-------------------------------------------------

For all the talk about the disappointment, I am still so proud of the players. Apart from pieces of slack defending which will have to be addressed and this can be done at the end of the season, the players really gave their all in attack. They stuck to their guns, played their passing game, and the first goal was a perfect one indeed. In fact over the past 3 matches, they've just shown how capable they are of playing big teams and still being able to keep possession. And the 2nd goal, was just a joy to watch. It was a beauty, Walcott's run from penalty box to penalty box and then setting it up for a tap in for Adebayor. That alone was worth waking up to watch the match. And while we could still have a say in the title race by screwing Man United up this Sunday, to be honest I'd rather we lose and Man United win the BPL than Chelsea. To have a team like Chelsea who play the boring way they play and still be able to win the league, would be an absolute disgrace for the English game.

---------------------------------------------

It's been a disappointing common test again. I will have to work a lot harder. Nevertheless, I still enjoy the time I spend in school. With my classmates, with my CCA friends. And of course, spending time with my caregroup members. There are a lot of goals to aim for. The most important though are still those to do with my personal temperament, my commitment and self-discipline, and my willingness to step out of my comfort zone. In this testing week where I will be emotionally charged everytime I think of the injustices which have taken place, I look to no one else by Him. And of course, put in me the appropriate words during worship. This is a week of great dependence, as weeks have been and will continue to be.

2008-04-04T21:54:00.002+08:00

A PRESS THAT LIFTS PEOPLE UP ONLY TO SHOOT THEM DOWN AT ANY CHANCE AVAILABLE.

And that is all UK tabloids are about. Which is really quite amusing for people to read and which is why they sell so well. But sometimes, you just feel for the people who are 'shot' only to be hyped up again not long after, and then 'shot' again in a cyclical manner. Case in point -1. Capello, who was built up by the press as the 'best candidate after Mourinho', and soon after he got the England job, his tactical skills were continually boasted by the press. And then after only his 2nd match, in which England, whose team consisted of players who were not going to EURO 2008, and were tired out by an exhausting league race and champions league run, lost to France, whose team were going to compete in EURO 2008 in the summer and so had to treat the game seriously, the press raps Capello for being 'clueless' and 'a fool of a tactician', I mean come on. It doesn't take a genius to realise the mess that the team is in, and yet a 1-0 reverse to France makes it seem like its the end of the world.

Case in point 2. Avram Grant, has done so well after Mourinho left Chelsea abruptly, and yet the press keeps saying its the players that are playing well and that the manager has nothing to do with it. And when his good results are finally commended, he is just brought down to earth with every next defeat. And it is not just the culture of the press, it is also the culture of football fans. Fickle-minded. Chelsea fans, when they were trailing 0-1 to Arsenal, shouted chants of 'you don't know what you are doing' when Grant brought Anelka and some other player on. The same fans were screaming their team on after they came roaring back to win 2-1. The same fans who will curse him again now that Chelsea lost 2-1 to Fenerbahce, the weakest team remaining in the Champions League, after they were leading 0-1 and could have had 5 or 6. And we all know Chelsea will go through to the semis anyway. A single goal deficit is just so easy to overcome at the bridge. Thankfully Drogba stood up like all players should for their managers, saying 'We turk-ed it, not Avram'.

Anyway it's advantage Liverpool after the 1-1 draw at the Emirates. It was typical Arsenal, profligate, typical Liverpool, tight at the back (and boring). But they got their goal and that's all that matters to them, and that's all that hurts us Arsenal fans. 0-0 would be good. 1-0 would have been fantastic. It should have been 3 or 4. If not for a major refereeing blunder for not giving the penalty and a moment of horror for Bendtner (am I on the opposite end of the field?) clearing a goal-bound ball right before it went in. Speaking of that, the blunder was just a blunder. It surely wasn't any kind of favouritism to Kuyt, if it was so then he would have red-carded everyone who touched van Persie. And yet the press goes on to suggest conspiracy theories about the referee, when they should focus on the wonderful football that Arsenal played against an in-form Liverpool team and how we had 61% of possession. Probably the highest in a quarter final. And if the press was nonsensical, then I don't know who Kuyt is, Kuyt who said 'it was never a penalty'. Well try listening to Mourinho saying the opposite after what happened when Liverpool played Chelsea earlier this year. Laughs.

Point is: Admit you all had the luck. Yes the performance was 'professional' by virtue of the fact that you all got the away goal you wanted, the same way a penalty is 'good' if it hits the back of the net. Admit we outplayed you. And while that probably won't happen at Anfield next Tuesday, know that if we played the same way we did on Wednesday, and if we played the same way we played Milan, we would win.

Thankfully, any little bit of spite I had for the refereeing decision was eliminated by a UEFA statement that said 'He (referee) got a big decision wrong and a decision that could very well change the outcome of the tie. He will suffer the consequences for his mistake as will any other referee who performs similarly in such a showpiece match.' And fortunately for the referee, this is not Chelsea, this is not Mourinho. So we Arsenal fans are very accepting. If not, he would have received death threats and been forced to continue his remaining two jobs of being a husband and a bunch of organic molecules.

That's all the football rants I have this week. Oh, and Manchester are playing beautiful football, credit to them. They will fully deserve the league title and (very likely) the champions league this season.

2008-03-18T14:00:00.001+08:00

When you go to open houses and scholarship talks and stuff, you receive a whole lot of freebies, the most useful being files, and then of course, pens.

I use these pens to do practice questions and exercises for common tests and stuff. And with this week being common test week, of course I use a lot of them. It is really quite shocking to see how some pens just die so easily or just don't work after awhile. Some of which come from big companies and prestigious local scholarship boards. Yes it's only a pen, but it's these little things that make you have a good impression of a company. Till now, the best pens I've used are still those from Best Western Hotel. Not that they offer a scholarship or that I would probably ever work there, but perhaps that'll be a good option for a hotel if I ever travel to the States. Of course, the hotel could be nothing like the pen, nevertheless, it has made an impression on me. A good one. Credit to their publicity department.

Also, it's not like a lousy pen would make me not want a scholarship - I'd take anything there is on the table! Just a thought on the significance of free pens.

And now back to work. Two to go. God please bless with me the optimum urgency at the start of papers so that I do not panic too much to the point that I will end up make careless mistakes, and on the other hand, and also don't work too slowly until I end up panicking when the clock runs down.

The same urgency that Fabregas and co. lacked over the last 4 premier league matches.

2008-03-17T20:21:00.002+08:00

Not a long one, but remember my previous post on managers not being honest enough and MOTIVATION (or lack of motivation) being the underlying reason for poor performances, well one week after my post Arsenal captain William Gallas has this to say:

"I'll tell you why there was a difference between the win in Milan and our next game. It was in the head," Gallas was quoted as saying in The Sun.

"It is human nature that after a huge game in Europe it is difficult to find the same level of motivation for the following game.

"In fact what we needed was an even higher level than we had in Milan. We all have to understand that.

"And we have to understand it quickly because time is running out for us this season.

"We need to understand what it takes to become champions if we want that trophy.

"If you look at the table now, I'm not saying we're in trouble but we have lost our lead.

"So from now on we just have to think about ourselves, not look at the table any more. And we have to win every game.

"We need to have a high level of motivation from now until the end of the season.

"We have to give 200 per cent."

How honest of him, and how true, only that he has not set such a good example for his teammates. What was with waving your arms for offside when you should have just went to close down the player with the ball and prevent the cross which led to the goal?

2008-03-10T02:08:00.002+08:00

ANOTHER FOOTBALL ANALOGY.

Motivation is a hard thing to get in life, especially when things are not going your way. How can it be that Liverpool lose to Barnsley and then beat Inter Milan, that Arsenal beat Milan and then draw with Wigan? There are many more examples, but the two I used are to show that a drop in confidence (former) is not to blame, and neither is a hangover (latter) after a good result, as it happens both ways. Benitez would say the answer is that it is the romance of the cup, Wenger would say that the pitch was horrible, and while both are true to a certain extent, they are just reluctant to admit the harsh truth - that their players just lacked motivation. And they cannot be faulted for not admitting such a thing, after all, they are managers and they have a responsibility to keep the morale of their camp high.

Players however, are sometimes more frank, and while their own managers and the press jump on their comments and exaggerate it ten-fold, I laud them for their honesty. The very fact that managers keep harping on the need to stay focused and not be complacent, just reveals how grave a problem it could be. Sure, good teams can get away with it week after week, but slowly this lack of motivation would come back to bite them hard. Arsenal's tie with Milan is well and truly over. We outplayed them, we beat them. Period. In between, 3 draws. To be fair, we deserved to win against Birmingham. But we deserved to lose to Aston Villa, and the draw against Wigan is the fair result. Amidst the draws, players like Fabregas have come out to say that the team is fired up for the rest of the season. Fired up about what in particular? Because comparing the way he shot tamely at the keeper in the final minute against Wigan, and the way he took his goal at Milan, for me, says it all. It's easy to get fired up against Milan, Champions League holders, with all to prove against them, but it is so difficult to get fired up against a rubbish team that is Wigan (I'm not going to give a no offence here - the WIgan fans know deep down the rubbish that is their players). And when you're not fired up while they are, it makes a whole lot of difference, just like mental strength does in wars, just like optimism does in fighting cancers. The players couldn't play their passing game because of the pitch, but that's no excuse. Arsenal are better than Wigan in heading, long-range shooting, defending. Yet, the team got outplayed, by a team who you could clearly see was fired up, just like Barnsley was in their upset of monumental proportions when they beat Chelsea. Was I frustrated? No. I've said before that I can accept what is deserved, and a draw was deserved. Arsenal played miserably. I was just disappointed at the fact that the players who I admire so much - and who I will continue to admire - still fall short of being motivated for every game, because believe you me, I would much rather be frustrated at a good performance but with glorious chances spurned.

You would be able to understand why S-league players lack so much motivation to play - they are paid ridiculously low wages. While the 'motivation is proportionate to wage' point is contentious, it is hard to believe that top top Premier League players that these guys are, still somehow lack the motivation to play at times, with the wages they are getting, and the many many fans out there who support them. The obvious reason is that they are getting too comfortable with their lives; they can easily support themselves, buy a good car, a good house, please their WAGS. And so, they don't feel the hunger as much anymore. Yes, the fact remains that many players are spurred on by the desire to win a cup or a league title, but this motivation will never be as strong as that when you are playing for your immediate living. Fabregas (top class against Milan, nevertheless) is strongly motivated to win the league and champions league, but that motivation will never be as strong as Adebayor's when he was still in Africa with his family struggling to make ends meet, or Drogba's when he wanted to much for the internal conflict within his homeland to cease. And however much Drogba may be the scourge of Arsenal whenever he plays against us, I respect him so much for the motivation that he plays with.

Similarly, in life, we often don't hunger so much for God's presence and Word when things are going well for us. We praise Him, we lift Him up, but we don't desire Him as much. And this is the perfect description of me in the past. Yes Arsenal have been piss-poor, but I've had decent results, and have not had significant conflict within my family or any serious relationship problems. And so I used to lack the desire to read the Bible, and to worship. The same can be said of many other things. When I had eczema, I applied potassium permanganate every night; applied moisturiser every night; ate my pills within any hint of forgetting to. Yet once it went away, I stopped. It is partly due to the way our body priorities things I suppose, and can thus be said to be sub-conscious to some extent. But the fact remains that if you really want to do something you will take the necessary steps to make sure you do it. And so this is something very easy to succumb to. The lack of motivation when things are not going very wrong. In a way, this is some sort of a vicious cycle. The way to fight it, is to take advantage of the next time something goes wrong and you get that motivation for awhile. Make a habit of it and stick to it. Otherwise, like how I changed, make decisions beforehand, reasonable ones, and stick to it. Those 3 words are so important.

It'll always be difficult but I'll now challenge myself. I'll fast on Arsenal's next match, which is home to MIddlesbrough. And I'll really spend the 2 hours wisely. And let's hope I'll be blessed with a shocking defeat that I wish I never watched, like 4-1 to Liverpool last year which I so fortunately missed. Now come to think of it, I wonder if it was really just coincidence that ensured I was NOT screaming my lungs out and stretching my blood vessels to the limit last year.

2008-02-29T20:06:00.003+08:00

THE END OF A SPECIAL MONTH.

Today is the 29th, it is the leap day. I think, it is a recognition of science - the accuracy to which scientists have determined the revolution of the earth around the sun. The usage of the leap year once every four years, has ensured at least that there is no clear shift of the seasons in the past few decades. Remarkable, isn't it?
Well, just a thought.

Today was also GP CT. It hardly felt like a common test; most of us were hardly in the mood for it. And GP is a subject where one really needs to 'get in the groove' of it to do well. But oh well, at least there was a question I had content for, so I did not have to generate on-the-spot and face all the nervousness about time resulting from that. Compre. was as usual. Paraphrase 'seriousness'? Goodness, the setters must have worked hard on it; they would be delighted when they start marking, I suppose.

Oh well, so much for the common test. It's 1/5 done. 17 days from now, the rest.
Anyway, at the start of the month, I think I was asked quite a pertinent question. What are areas which could potentially make me drift further away from God. And two things popped up obviously. Studies...and soccer. The fact that soccer makes it in there side by side with studies says it all. And then I thought again, yes, am I really very academically-oriented? And if people were to ask me such a question, I would probably say, no. And that is the truth. Yes, if I do badly for a test, right after that, or maybe even for the entire day itself, I would feel down. I would not be as willing to chat with others. But at least, this is so much better than in the past where I would be so keen to discuss answers and count marks. So, yes, maybe, but probably not - to whether studies would hinder my walk with God.

What about soccer? Well, there are two issues to it - the time spent, and the how much emotion it drains out of me. Time spent? My resolution was to keep to 2 matches a week - which I know is still a lot. So if Arsenal play twice in a week I'll watch both matches, if not its Arsenal's match plus a big match if there is one, e.g. Liverpool v Chelsea or League Cup Final. In addition, I play fantasy football. So each week involves looking up the fixture list for that week and subsequent weeks, searching for the right players, and picking the right captain. Players who are on form, players who are rising in value, and dumping players who's value I predict would fall. I do it for BPL and champions league. For the BPL game I've slumped big time cause I made the biggest mistake one could make - not have Ronaldo in your team and not add him when his cost was still relatively low. For the champions league I (proudly say that I'm) in the top 1000 out of over 50,000 players, thanks to having Fabregas, van NIstelrooy, Messi and Kanoute in my team. Well anyway, I hope this would serve me well for investing in the real world in the future. It's a lot more complex, but at least this game is one that really gets me excited too. For now, that's the time spent on it.
Emotions? I have to say, the worse feeling one can have, is to drop points in a match that your team really, really deserved to win. It is very frustrating, and yes, it is very emotionally draining, it is a problem for me. Things have improved a lot this season, but to be honest, I think most of it is down to Arsenal's improvement in form, not mine. And that's the truth. 1-2 down against Man United last year, I was whining and whining about how the match should have been sealed in our favour. Of course when Gallas got the equaliser it changed to jubilation. I watched the first team got owned 5-1 by Spurs and 4-0 by Man United recently, and the feeling is just...the 'can't be helped feeling'. I think I am quite fine with that, accepting defeat when it is deserved. The big problem is still embracing defeat when so many chances have been created and spurned. Like against Birmingham. That is a problem, and I don't know, it may be that the passion I have towards soccer will mean that I will forever boil over when it happens. Thus, herein lies the issue of drifting away from God. It's all good when Arsenal are winning and the youngsters are making the critics eat humble pie (love this phrase) , but when it goes bad it is an emotional drain on me. And it would mean I cannot focus well on anything else - studies, reading, or QT. The way to solve it, I suppose, is to gradually channel this passion onto serving God and growing his Kingdom. I've always had this desire to grow in God, the moment I converted, but I have been held back for a long time by inertia, and lack of desire to change. And without the desire, things would not change. Thus I would have to make another big change now. Can I foresee a day when I miss an Arsenal match and not be desperate to know the result right away? Well, I'm going to have to face it during NS. But yeah, apart from that, it will be difficult. I've really developed a bond for this wonderful team, and, like Thierry Henry said, they will forever occupy a space in my heart. The point now, just like to advance a relationship, is to stick with them through thick and thin, which is to accept the inherent occasional slip-ups that come with playing football the way they play. Chelsea fans found that out the hard way when Liverpool edged them out twice in champions league semi-finals, as well as in the recent league cup final. When I went into grads. and then into JC Central I thought it would be so difficult to get close to my caregroup members. Xuan always talked about family, and for a very long time, I wondered how much the group was going to open up for me. And then, while they always have, gradually, I opened up myself too. And now, its such a good group to be in and there has really been the element of family. Hopefully, that would extend to the unit soon. Anyway my point was, it will be a long process, trying to curb my emotions while watching football, but hopefully not too long.
Pray for me! =)

Anyway, have deciding that in view of being underweight and stuff, perhaps fasting from food is not such a good idea. During QT I got a message that football is the area that I will have to gradually give up to make more time for meetings and stuff. And so I got it down to 2 options - uninstall FIFA 08 and missing the first 30 mins of every match. It pained me to give up either, and so it just went down to a coin toss. And guess what, bye bye FIFA 08. Until Winning Eleven Eleven on PS3 after A levels! So, bye bye to the long love affair between me and FIFA, I suppose. Haha.

To finish off, on Saturday, Arsenal drop points in the race. But what marred the whole match was a horrible injury to Eduardo. I have the video of replays of it, and believe me it is just so, so graphic and painful to watch. The lower studs clamped the boot to the ground, while the upper studs of the tackler's boots caused 90kg worth of impact onto Eduardo's ankle, causing it to shift outwards while the rest of the foot remained in the boot. The thought of it just makes me sick to the stomach. Thankfully, through very quick thinking from the physio, the relocation was done quickly enough and he would recover in 9 months.

That infamous tackler is none other than Martin Taylor. And there is certainly a lot that can be learnt from this injury. Firstly, many people, coincidentally all Birmingham players, say that he shouldn't even have got a yellow card as he "had no intent". Yes, it is certainly true that, if there is intent to cause harm but no harm was actually done, then it warrants a red card. So does it mean that if there is no intent to cause harm, there should be no red cards? The issue of 'intent' here is important. Clearly, Taylor did not intend to break Eduardo's leg. What he did intend to do though, was to get stuck into him, to "let him know Birmingham is in this game", which is a euphemism for saying we should show that through reckless tackles and rough play, we can make up the difference for the lack in our quality of passing, of shooting. Does this warrant a red card? Think about it. This is generally true for teams when they are not playing Arsenal. Tackles are with the intent of getting the ball. If you miss the ball, you get the player - its a foul. When is it a red card? If you are last man, if the tackle was late, or if the tackle was a bad one. You continually see players using their hands to show the shape of the ball, telling refs. that they were 'playing the ball'. Well, you could be Henry, who in the process of missing a tackle, just got a bit of the player, and so, foul, nothing more. You could be Crouch, who in the process of missing a tackle, missed the player as well, way too slow. You could be Rooney, and you went in hard with a tackle, didn't get the ball, and hurt the player. Surely, if the contact is bad, it's your fault. Yes, you could say you intended to get the ball, but if you make a mistake, you pay for it. Imagine if you wanted to hurt a person by contaminating his food with tabasco, and you do not realise that he cannot handle tabasco. He cannot handle it at all, that, if he drinks it, he will die. And so, you did not intend to kill him, but you intended to hurt him, and in the end he dies. Is that murder? Hell yes. So why is it that on the football pitch, this is not the case?

The worse thing though, is that Taylor is only banned for 3 matches. While Eduardo has to deal with the prospect of not playing for 9 months. Taylor is not going to Euro 2008. He will never represent England at any level. In fact, he may not even be playing Premier League football again next season. Furthermore, if he ever leaves Birmingham, the only club that would want to buy him is Tottenham Hotspur, where people would give him praise for what he did. Eduardo on the other hand, is Crostia's best striker. He is the reason why England is not even in Euro 2008. And he will not be able to represent his country. I, as an Arsenal fan, would never forget him. But other fans, other critics, they probably might. He would be left in the limelight while Taylor, would have gotten famous overnight. Just a search on google on 'taylor' without his surname already shows the first hit as 'Eduardo tackle was an accident'. So was half the murders that have taken place in this world. So Taylor has gotten famous over a tackle, and his life as a normal footballer will forever be remembered for that. He could probably stop playing football and receive pension for the rest of his life from Tottenham fans. And soon, he will be playing football again for Birmingham. Will he dare tackle again? What if, he breaks someone's leg again. Accident again? He would probably never play again if that happened. That should be how we view him in the light of Eduardo's tackle, if the latter were the case. We all know by now he did not mean to break Eduardo's leg, but the reaction from Birmingham players, deciding to show their support for him, that he will 'get through the trauma', and accusing Arsene Wenger of being a sore loser (which he is, but still) just shows a lack of professionalism on their part. We as Arsenal fans, can argue all we like and make Taylor feel as guilty as he can, but he doesn't deserve that. His colleagues deserve that as a whole, just that all the suffering will be solely on him. He has his teammates to blame. The fact still remains that the first thing he did after the ref. sent him off was to insist his lack of intent, not worry for Eduardo, certainly not concern over whether Eduardo would play football again. Arsenal's reaction is by no means uncalled for. I could only imagine what would happen if Mourinho was still here and that Taylor's tackle was on his star man, Drogba.

2008-01-27T15:59:00.000+08:00

Just read a good article today from Arsenal's Monthly magazine at Borders.

In July(2006), he made very outspoken comments about Henry's departure and questioned the club's ambition and transfer policy. He even hinted at leaving the club, unhappy with the club's supposed lack of ambition. Then during the summer, (Arsenal manager) Arsene Wenger had a good chat with him about his career and the club's ambition, and he made a big decision. He decided he was going to stay on and fight for the club, and that he wanted added responsibility. He was (to the surprise of many) given the captain's armband for the ongoing 07-08 season, and has really defied his doubters, leading by example and even coming up with crucial goals against Manchester and Chelsea in the league.

And as aptly put by Wenger:

"He made a big U-turn in the summer. Now, he isn't just on board, he's one of the driving forces of the team, and their success this term."

This is none other than Arsenal's inspirational captain Willian Gallas. And he has certainly earned so much of my respect over the season. Not just the goals (which he as a defender has no right to score but still does), but also in the way he has presented himself and led the team. At the start of the season, I, like many other Arsenal fans, was shocked at the decision to appoint him as captain - he had only just come in a year ago from London rivals Chelsea, and kept moaning about the club's lack of ambition in their transfer policy....letting stars like Henry go away. Yet, he has shown his leadership qualities over the season and is certainly as important a player to us as Fabregas, Hleb or Adebayor, in an amazing season so far where more and more critics are made to swallow their words and eat humble pie this season.

Gallas is certainly a role model for me. I may not be the equivalent of "captain" or "driving force" of my cg, but it is certainly something i aspire to be. And I have made my big U-turn.

2008-01-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

It's been a week full of pretty long nights, but I think this week has been a pretty good one for me. For at least 3 days, I think I've only had sleep for slightly more than 5 hours the previous night. And for some lessons the tiredness really kicks in, but somehow I think some combination of sleepy cycle and cold temperature, and of course entertaining classmates/tutorials means that I can stay awake most of the time.

Well so my days are now like H3 on Mon and Thurs, CCA on wed, CIP on tues, which leaves Friday free. =)
Not too bad.

So this week I spent a night rushing tutorials and reading stuff, a day doing presentation slides for my attachment project, and wednesday learning the worship pattern of strumming, which was time very well spent. And then Thurs was cg day and although it didn't turn out as planned it was very good to just relax out one night and joke around and stuff with wonderful fellow cg mates, after the other busy days. Really hope cg won't clash with anything for upcoming weeks.

Well what else was good about the week was that....I only played half an hour of FIFA08 (which was to reward myself for doing work or else I would really lack the will), and I did not watch Arsenal's league cup semi-final with Tottenham which turned out to be an absolute horror show. I spent my time well, and with all the time management stuff during civics I am by and large still a very big slacker but heck the only way I can go from there is to be less slack. =)

Didn't get to watch much Aussie open because of the late go-back-home times but managed to watch Fed v Djoker today, which Fed lost badly. Oh well, bad week in terms of the people I support. Still through reading the sports section everyday it is just so touching to know about the many stories that have taken place during the open, such as the emergence of the Serbians, and of course an unseeded French player who had his career is tatters years ago fighting his way into the final, totally destroying Nadal on the way. You will probably never see a lower division team win the FA Cup, or an eastern european team winning the champions league, but it sure happens in tennis, and very often. I guess this is one appeal that sports like tennis and golf (though I still think it is boring) have over soccer: unpredictability and upsets.

Still, soccer will always be my favourite, and the sport shows so many other things besides goals. Arsenal just broke down totally against Tottenham in the league cup, and there was even a ugly spat between Bendtner and Adebayor which apparently involved a headbutt too. Thankfully, no ban was imposed by the FA, which I think is really a very generous decision. I would have been fuming if such a thing happened at United. On another note, non-league team Havant and Waterlooville, who miraculously reached the 4th round of the FA Cup to get a dream tie against Liverpool, tried so desperately to get their best player (who was to serve a one match suspension) to be able to play in the tie by preponing a match before the weekend so he could serve his suspension for that match instead. Unfortunately, the club is so poor and small that the floodlights couldn't work so the match couldn't take place. Yet, the FA, upon finding out that they attempted this, immediately increased the ban to 2 matches so no matter what he couldn't play against Liverpool (unless they scheduled 10000 matches in a day, after which the FA would increase the ban to 10001 matches..zz). I think, comparing these 2 situations (Arsenal's where someone gets away with nothing despite headbutting a teammate, and the latter where the FA just denies someone a chance to play against Liverpool), it just goes to show that the FA practises double standards. I am a big Arsenal fan, but I know Adebayor really should have gotten at least a 3 match ban for what he did, which was appalling. And yet the FA chooses to go all out to ensure that this player does not get to play against Liverpool. The fact is that whether he plays or not, Liverpool will totally stuff them. 5,6, 56? lol. And yet they want to deprive a player the day of his life. With them devoting so much effort to such trivial stuff is no wonder why they couldn't even get a good coach for the national team for the euro qualifiers. This all links to governance. It starts from the top, and once the top is weak, England will forever disappoint.

2007-12-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.

I have been blessed with fairly reasonable results in school even though I really haven't worked hard as I should. I managed to get a chance to experience science research even though I hardly deserved it. And, I am still able to watch football even though my parents loathe the huge price increase in sports channels. Yet, nothing can compare with what I've felt in Your presence. Thanks for everything, really, everything.

FIrstly, I really hope to serve my friends (all friends) more in the future. I can be very helpful at times, yet, sometimes when I'm just not in the mood, I can be irritating. Very often, whenever I help others, I want recognition. I want others to be thankful, so much so I sometimes get upset when they aren't. This really is a case of having incorrect priorities. Surely, as everyone would know, true satisfaction comes from knowing that you have been of service to someone, and that you've made their day that better / less troublesome / easier.

Secondly, I hope I do not get too fed up and frustrated over trivial matters, and if I do, that I can control myself and my words. The saying goes 'Never say anything when you are angry', because you will regret it. And let me not have to face such guilt too many times in the future.

Thirdly, I want to have that sense of Godliness in me that I have lacked for so long. I will devote more time, and put in more effort for your kingdom's cause, and in return, let me be more mature, spiritually.

Lastly, I know, being the person that I am, that I can easily string a few sentences together which sounds fairly decent, encouraging, and perhaps even inspirational at times. But, talk is cheap, and actions speak volumes more than words do. At times, I have not been 100% sincere or true to my words. As much as I would like to, I cannot afford to keep relying on my words, and instead will have to back them up with actions. Thus, please keep me accountable for my words, be in through that timely reminder, or a straight talk from a friend.

Thank You, once again.

2007-12-07T21:57:00.000+08:00

rêves + perception visuelle. AMONG OTHER THINGS.

I'll like to start with dreams, as I've had some very interesting ones as of late. Just yesterday, I was playing soccer with my specs. on and somehow they totally got smashed when i went to score a header goal. I could hear everyone cheering and yet I was feeling so much pain as a piece of broken glass had fell into my eye and my hand that touched my eye was cut with blood too (I can remember this surprisingly vividly for now). Someone was attending to me but obviously that guy knew nuts about how to remove the piece of glass from my eye so I went off and after that I don't know where I went, but i just kept feeling something stuck underneath my eye (scary really) and a lot of pain. When I woke up, I continued to feel the pain in my eye and my one hand was straight away touching it (no blood of course), but I must say the pain felt really real for quite some time after I had woken up. I really wonder, if the pain, the heartbreaks, the happiness we feel in our dreams are really....as they would really feel. There are people who have dreamt of being shot, and said that they really felt the pain of a bullet, even though they have never been shot before in real life. Is it really true? Well I guess like some people who can know stuff through visual perception like Gerry McCambridge (who appears on this very amazing show called the Mentalist on AXN which I highly recommend), we seldom believe such things until we really experience them (and then we find it ridiculous that other people don't believe them). After saying all this, I think the same can be said of God's presence. Yes, God works through people, and it is one way in which we experience His presence, but I think what non-believers find hard to believe is the internal joy and satisfaction that can be experienced during worship sessions among other intangible aspects (This was at least how I felt during a couple of years ago). And really, once it is experienced, the 'why can't people understand' feeling starts to develop. Thus, the difficulty is really in bringing people in to get this first experience of it. And that we really need to put ourselves in the shoes of these non-believers, something I've been struggling to do, I realised. Comparing God's presence to visual perception or mind-reading, I think the latter is so much easier to experience - once will be enough of a shock, and if you need more proof of things it can just be repeated (ask whoever to repeat? watch again? really the things are so specific that it will be really hard not to believe once they are performed on you). The former is quite different in fact, and is certainly not easy to experience as it requires personal effort, not a lot of it but decisive effort. Yet, in this world, there are so many more believers in God than there are believers in visual perception, something testiment to the efforts by people in outreaching to others, and of course, to God's strength and empowerment.
I've probably made many assumptions there and digressed a lot, yeah but that's just something that sprang to my mind just as I thought about dreams and visual perception.

More about my dreams next time perhaps. I've had some really scary ones too! I really do find dreams intriguing. It is an aspect of medical science I am interested in, the other being, of course, sports-related injuries (metatarsals?, haha). Well, so much for not taking bio anyway, haha.

Moving on, JC service recently was just so impactful, from the mere occasion of it, to the atmosphere, and to the people who went on stage to speak, none more so that raph. Also the past few weeks have made me become really grateful to be in the cg that am in, the people and everything, and that I have so much more to contribute. And I'm sure next week will be the time to build on all this spiritual momentum.

No attachment this week so it's certainly freed up my schedule to do other more interesting stuff - exercise, reading up on stuff that interests me, friends. Football is really routine though so it's not classified under 'more interesting' I suppose.

Arsenal are really impressing me more and more. The only reason I have been so frustrated in the past was because they kept missing sitter after sitter, and post-match comments that really got onto my nerves was those that said 'a draw was a fair result' when they really dominated. Now the team is scrapping big time. Against Villa and Newcastle we were dismal and probably deserved to lose both games, and yet we got 4 points out of those games, and even managers admit that the point at Newcastle was 'fair' when in all honesty it was so not. These are really signs of the team establishing a new reputation for itself and I think we will certainly keep contending for top honours although we probably would not win any this year, something which I'm fine with, certainly after offloading Henry. Offloading is really the word to use right now, with 16.1M really looking much better a deal than it seemed.

Was under the weather last week, first time of the year where it was really bad to the extent that I had to stay home all day I think, heh. Thinking in this sort of way puts a positive spin on it, although yeah I really hope it won't happen again at this sort of time next year.

Lastly, I've received a message that it has to be done by this year, and I guess I've waited long enough. I really do hope there will be a sign of when it is most appropriate to be done though, and that it will turn out well.

2007-11-07T20:49:00.000+08:00

"It is through memory that we hold on to those we love"

The holidays can be said to be well-and-truly underway, after oral presentation is over. And boy am I glad that it is. My group's preparation for it has been relatively smooth (compared to WR...) though, and I'm glad the presentation went pretty well. Since then it's been outings and meeting friends, which has been great really. The downside to all this is...of course...that I have ended up having to spend more money. Still it is money worth spent, especially when I get to see the comedy of errors displayed by JJ and Weelic and the ends they will go about $3.50, as well as the nice frappes. that I got to enjoy at Starbucks with Leon. The buy-one-get-one-free offer for earthquake at Swensen's meant that between the 5 of us relatively light eaters we had 2 earthquakes to share, and it turned out to be a great way to gain weight, which was of course delightful for me, although perhaps the same cannot be said for someone like Sherhan, haha. Of course, more importantly is the time spent with the people I haven't been able to hang around with too often over the year, and that is priceless. Thus, I really look forward to the rest of such outings over the holidays. I probably do not have too many great friends, but I do treasure the time I have with every one of them, and most importantly, I'm very satisfied and grateful for those I keep in touch with. =)

Something else that I would really like to do is play soccer. While I used to just go on those lonely runs to Bishan park and back, I've taken the 'courage' to go to the street soccer court (wearing the 'destroy-able' specs of course) and play it out with those older and bigger size people all wearing jerseys. While they are rough in playing football they are actually pretty friendly to talk to and of course, they let me play with them, so here's another prime example of why we should not judge a book by it's cover. I feared the worst when I accidentally stepped on someone's bare foot, but he just laughed it off. Heh.

Of course, the football on TV is certainly hotting up as well. Two weeks. Two matches in succession against two of the big four. Two points. And the players are disappointed. Well, the same can't be said for me. I think they played absolutely brilliantly, apart from the 1st half against Manchester, which I must admit was because Manchester stifled them. Against Liverpool, after conceding the goal we battered them and eventually...we did score the perfect goal. 2 players as decoy, and then Hleb played the perfect chip to Fabregas who toe-poked it past their keeper. We hit the post twice and really, with better finishing, we would have got a famous victory. Against Manchester, they were really clinical and took their chances...and that really looks like championship-winning form, so yeah Manchester are the favourites. I must say, their 2nd goal was brilliant, the reverse pass from Saha. But still, as always, the team fought back and FINALLY, a big ref. decision is right, and Gallas's whack was correctly ruled to have crossed the line (which is clearly did).

And football really is a matter of ifs. If we had not scored that late goal....
Ferguson would not be such a sour grape and complain about a foul that took place TWO MINUTES before that last-gasp goal went over the line. He would instead say

"We deserved the victory",

which will be of a similar nature to Mourinho's classic

"The better team lost"

when they were defeated by Barcelona and Liverpool. In both cases, they can simply be summarised as

"My team is better, your team is inferior", which can be further reduced back to...

"sour grapes"

It's a lovely phrase isn't it.
Well, my turn to be one.
IF van Persie was playing, surely there would not have been isolation in the first half against united, and surely he would have finished off the chances that were begging to be put away. Anyway, it's important we stayed top, and Manchester have been lucky. They played a Chelsea without Drogba or Lampard, us without van Persie, and very likely Liverpool without Torres. Let's see a Manchester without Rooney, Ronaldo or Tevez man. Too bad we didn't kick any of them bad enough towards the end. It would have been worth a red card. Or two. lol.

2007-10-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

Four hours yesterday at NUS could really be described in a lot of ways. 'Fun' will probably be the most appropriate, simply laughing at my inadequacies all the way through. Oh well, I have been praying a lot and I'm glad I've been blessed with calmness through the weekend, on D-Day Monday and of course at NUS yesterday. I probably would have cooked up a whole lot of unnecessary stress, but I feel refreshed mentally right now, and for that I'm grateful.

Saturday night marked Arsenal's 11th victory in a row, which has now become 12 after the 7-0 midweek thrashing of Slaves from the Czech Republic. Two matches, which in spite of losing van Persie, the team have continued to play their passing game so so well, and it's simply beautiful, the goals they are scoring right now. It was frustrating on Saturday, but I didn't get frustrated and when the goals finally came, I was obviously over the moon. The next 2 weeks will really be the most important of the season so far. Liverpool away and Man United at home. It is scary to see United hit top form in attack suddenly, but at the same time they seem more lax in defence, so well, let's hope our passing game prevails. Two loses really isn't the end of the season, considering van Persie is injured, so I'll be satisfied with anything.

Monday was of course the return of promo results all in one shot. And of course, Sunday I was feeling kind of worried initially. I really should have focused on studying physics all the way - there was so much I could have covered. But the potential disasters just distracted me too much. In the end, I decided not to study anything electromagnetic for physics. Fortunately this didn't prove too costly, but it sure could have and I would only have had myself to blame. So the day was spent mostly relaxing and reflecting, which had quite the cleansing effect, although really I should have, should have, been studying as much as I could. Partly was because I (somehow) thought that the tuesday thing wasn't the real thing, but sigh it turned out to be.

Promo results were thankfully quite ok. GP improved quite a lot, and it's really still work in progress. Econs is still struggling very very badly though and a lot of effort will need to be put into it from now on.

Now, with promos and physics olympiad over, all that is left is PW. And once that is over, the holidays will begin for real, and apart from the football that there is to enjoy, there are really a lot of things I would finally be able to focus on. It would thus be good to have a list.

1. Work on my YDSP research project
2. Finish the book that Leon bought for me as well as 4 more spiritual books
3. Finish the books that my dad has recommended me to read. 2 of them.
4. Finish a couple of books from the RJ library I never had time to complete.
5. Study SAT vocab.
6. Practise more of the guitar!
7. Read Sloman
8. Write more essays
9. Meet up with friends (and there are many MANY many I long to see...)
10. Play soccer with friends / random people around the neighbourhood
11. Exercise!!
12. Do more research on football terms for my Fantasy Premier League game
13. Attend CG more regularly
14. Finish season 3 of desperate housewives. And perhaps abit of heroes.
15. Eat, and keep eating so I can put on more weight.
16. Watch movies at home with my family.
17. Get all the sleep I need.
18. Play CnC3, FIFA...and
19. Make sure I cheer on every Arsenal goal and every goal United or Liverpool concede.

Sounds like a lot of things to do, and of course there are a couple more things which I will really think hard about, but which I dare not write here due to reasons I can't say here either. It will really be a fulfilling holiday. And it starts with meeting friends on Saturday and Sunday this weekend. =)

2007-09-30T22:00:00.001+08:00

Whoo, the promos are finally over, and the standard has certainly gotten a whole whole lot tougher than the CTs, especially Friday's chem which was just a mental blow.

Oh wells, I'm glad it's all over, and I'm glad that this time, I did not suffer from any insomnia or extreme stress which plagued me badly for CTs. That extreme stress was due to the fact that I just didn't study enough and couldn't get everything into the brain by the night before the exam, and that leads on to insomnia with one half of you knowing that doing well for any paper requires a focused and relaxed mind which has had enough sleep, and the other half knowing that there's no excuse for not being able to answer a question cause the notes weren't thoroughly read through. At least with the Sept. holidays and the 3-day study break getting the knowledge into the brain was fine, although as usual the greater difficulties were application and time management, which I still struggled with. So, yeah, while it's a sure bet that the promos will be a lot worse than the CTs, at least I think I have progressed in my mental state of health for exams, and really the next step is balancing speed and lack of carelessness. Oh, and I am starting to embrace and fear less of the challenge that is economics. Heh.

I guess the salvation I felt after promos ended wasn't as great as that after CTs, but it isn't in any way unexpected. After all, the great relieving feeling we have is the release of pressure, long built-up pressure, and really this time there wasn't as much pressure I suppose, for me at least. This is typical Mourinho, but seriously, pressure is what's happening in Myanmar right now.

I think the country is one that seldom comes to mind when dictatorship and Communism is mentioned, and the recent protests really just go to show how much we have overlooked it in place of North Korea and Cuba...etc. And while there was (still is?) the nuclear weapons factor in North Korea, there wasn't any for Myanmar and yet, there is no doubt of sympathy from people all around the world, including me. It's been mentioned in the papers, the role the media has played in (I won't say exaggerating but) increasing the awareness of the struggle that the Burmese have been facing. And really, at the end of all this the same feeling is in me, that of how fortunate I am to be in Singapore. We felt mere tremors when the 8.5 (or higher?) earthquake hit the region, we have police who we can rely on, a government as well, and the element of bribery, offering 'tips' when going to hospitals, schools, etc. to get (not better) but normal treatment. In no way is the last point criticising the American tradition of giving tips at restaurants and to taxi drivers, it is referring to the state of affairs in some countries around the region.

-------------------------------------
The next few days will be great sleep and great enjoyment. It's a champions league week, although what would have been better if it's not Arsenal being marginalized yet again. Looking at the way united are playing now, there is no doubt that Arsenal are (and have been) playing the most visually attractive form of football for quite some time now. Yes, the team is finally putting a good run together and getting good wins at home instead of always having to wait for late goals. But, the results are one thing, and yes, ona penultimate weekend, of course it is the title race that has to be focused on. For now really, there is no reason why their matches should not be broadcasted. Arsenal may not be the first choice of the majority of Asians, but second choice? They have to be. And apparently, all the talk by pundits and commentators about how Arsenal is the team to watch can't have any influence on broadcasters. It's appalling really. The week before last, was a champions league week too. Arsenal played Sevilla, the same day that United went to Sporting Lisbon and Barcelona hosted Lyon. And sure enough, because ESPNSTAR can only broadcast 2 matches, Arsenal were left out, despite many pundits saying that it is the "match of the matchweek". Sure enough, Barcelona impressed against Lyon and yes, I do like the way Barca play with or without Henry there. But, Manchester's match in Lisbon was as boring as matches could get. Non-english stadium, poor atmosphere, and poor football. Yes, United fans must have been screaming in delight when Ronaldo got a miserable header goal to scrap a win, and they say it is 'the form of champions' to eke out victories, but surely it is Arsenal fans like me who are simply purring over the ease in which the team outplayed Sevilla. And unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy it LIVE.

Don't think this marginalization is only in Asia. In the UK too, apparently Man U and Liverpool have a bigger fan base, and so SKY SPORT's top commentary pairing are ALWAYS sent to their matches. Arsenal-Sevilla would have saved them a few air tickets as it is a home match in London where they operate, but no, they had to send Andy Gray and Martin Tyler to Lisbon to make sure the United fans don't get too bored with over-exaggerations of saves and shots. It's like so obvious-the last match they commentated on Arsenal in the champions league was during the 2006 run to the final in Paris. The year in which they were the only English club to get past the first knockout stage.

Certainly, this issue of fan base and democracy is intriguing. All I hope is that Arsenal's fan base will build up and up - which is has been. Arsenal's tickets are the highest of any Premier League club and yet they are still able to fill the Emirates for every single match. It's just laughable when you see Chelsea's stadium so empty for a champions league match against the lousiest team in the competition, a clear sign that their fans doubt the team's ability to run riot over them (which they won't be able to do now that The Special One is gone).

So yes I will continue to voice my frustrations over this but at the end of the day it's just a show of how democracy impedes the purity of the game. The Beautiful Game, as what these very people call it themselves.
Nevertheless, it's still enjoyable to be an Arsenal fan and while it lasts, the view from the top over Chelsea , whose 55M frontline of Drogba and Shevchenko (who can't score a goal against a rubbish Fulham team) can pay for all our transfer dealings since the start of the millennium, and of course Man United, the team who suddenly decided beautiful football is what they want. Speaking of which, Shevchenko is really looking like a real-life example of the liability that I faced over PW. Forced to play by the Boss, gives the ball away so easily, lags in reacting to corners, hated by his teammates, only compatible with one club, and is the most (and only?) unsuccessful of the 3 Ukrainian players in England. The only difference is, Shevchenko managed to make Mourinho leave Chelsea, I do not have that option.

2007-08-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

The unfairness continues. Last week, it was late night after late night, while a certain someone could stay at home all day for a few days, and still apparently doing absolutely no good. Yes, it's not like my eyesight is anywhere average - it's awful -, and I'm sure it just got a hell lot worse.

Then over the last two days, what I thought would be progress made has turned out to be time wasted. I guess, it happens in life. It's hard to take. I do not blame all but one. Ok, another one. And another one. No more. It's just frustrating. And it's proving to be an acid test for my temper. Yes, I get frustrated often watching football, but the frustration ends right on the night itself. This is different, and is perhaps why I am borrowing more books on Murphy's Laws.

Yes, I know it is busy. It's easy to underestimate, especially when your mathematics ain't too good. Yes, I know, 2 wrongs don't make a right, and delaying everyone else would just result in more negative externalities. So, I understand. That's why I am not angry with them. But still, there is a need to correct the wrong, one way or another, other than saying sorry. Saying you are sorry and not doing anything else, is also similar to saying 'no offence' and then hurtling expletive after expletive.
And just to remind ourselves of a simple fact of human survival - we CAN survive without food for half a day. (Shocking isn't it). In fact, we can survive without food for a dozen half-days. Or maybe even more. Whatever.

Yes, the burden is getting increasingly heavy over time, but still, there is no need to spread the weight around. It deserves to be where all of it is. It is a tough, tough world.

I really should get a hold of myself. After all,
Ahab died trying to kill Moby Dick, didn't he?

-------------------------------------------

Ok, feeling much better now after spending some time on the phone. Thanks.=)
Btw, Arsenal won 1-0 against Man City and 3-0 against Sparta Prague. Still the most memorable event of the week was Sevilla defender Puerta's death after spending 3 days in hospital since his collapse during a football match. It is indeed saddening, and really, I have gotten extremely frustrated recently but such a story has really softened my heart. The lad is 22 years old, just won the UEFA Cup, is almost about to break into the spanish national team, and has a girlfriend who is pregnant for 7 months, and then..........the unfortunate happened. It is indeed a sad story and after reflecting through it, it truly makes me appreciate the things I have going for me. Yes, this is a far from perfect world, and this is a far from fair world with people having immense hatred towards people, with people around who don't lack morals, including me. But, to know that footballers all around have been paying tributes, dedicating goals to him, and even Real Betis (who are bitter rivals of Sevilla) fans paying their respects, is touching. It really shows how silly the footballing world sometimes is, what with Chelsea willing to pay 85 million for Ronaldinho who wouldn't even fit into their defensive strategy, Manchester allowing Heinze to join any club except Liverpool, with teams playing at the Emirates Stadium try to do nothing except kick Arsenal players and break their passing game, and worse of all, the spending sprees of the WAGs (wives and girlfriends). Football really encompasses. And it is these touching stories, another one being how Drogba (as much as I hate him for being such a darn good Chelsea player) managed to stop civil war in his country, the Ivory Coast, which truly inspire me most, even more than seeing Liverpool comeback against Milan in 2005. And then there is Iraq winning the Asia cup, which I am sure would go a long way into helping them improve their state of affairs.

Now I still don't know where I should go on what would be a busy tomorrow, which will probably end up in a similar way to Beckham's transatlantic travels from California to London and back in 4 days, except it isn't 4 days. Tomorrow is less than one....

2007-08-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

Realised that I haven't blogged for *quite some time. This can be attributed to the increasing workload that I have, reading Harry Potter (I am lagging big time), and of course, soccer.

This week is pretty much one to forget; almost the entire of my nights was spent on PW, one way or another, after monday. Monday itself, was spent filling in the YDSP form, which meant it was already pretty late when I wanted to start on production and costs. Obviously, I was no longer in any mood to study anymore, so I just read a bit of the journal (non-academic so it doesn't make you want to sleep) and then went to bed. Indeed, the test wasn't too tough actually, but sigh, lack of study, and so I'll probably fail, which is not progress, which is not good. Still, it's about prioritising and although I know it's not good to say that the test doesn't "count", some things are just more important.

But anyway, practicals were a horror this week. CH was one of the craziest. The sampling and titration was horrible, in terms of time constraint and ultra-quick pipetting and titrating. And plotting a curve. And giving comments on anomaly. And doing the Skill D part. All in just an hour. Madness.
PH wasn't any better. Drawing the lines and performing calculations are extremely tiring on the eye. So I couldn't bother to pay attention to Relativity after that. Pity. The teacher was not bad. (Relative to...)

And Wed was the last guitar prac. before promos. Turned out to be more of a bonding/chatting session. Which was nice. Some suggestions regarding the design of a sweater were also simply amusing.

Thur, was the day of salvation indeed. I had expected to be home by 7 due to CIP and olympiad, but somewhat miraculously BOTH were canceled, and although I wouldn't mind doing CIP, it gave me the extra time needed to work on WR. I.e. to compensate (Don't ask for what)
So I done my part pretty quickly this time round, by like 7PM (compared to 2AM for draft 1). And, I didn't need to compile anything, thanks to Jin Kai, who assumed that role. Again, I wouldn't mind doing it, but yeah it was good to see willingness and initiative being taken. It really reduced the burden on me a whole lot. And yes, there was more editing to be done the next day, but at least we all did it together. Yes, my definition of 'all'.

I mentioned how eagerly I was anticipating the new season, and yes, it has been 3 weeks into the season, and there have been all sorts of surprises. The most surprising of which, have been the contrasting fortunes of the 2 clubs in Manchester.
United, champions and the bookmakers' favorites before the season started, only have 2pts from 3 games, which I must say, is relegation form. =p. What's even worse (or better for me) is that Rooney and Ronaldo are not going to be playing a few more matches. Ah, it's their turn to experience the horrible start Arsenal made last season. Still, if you know me, the team I hate the most is Chelsea, and sad to say, they have seriously ridden their luck through their matches. Where Liverpool should really have beaten them, Rob Styles gives them a penalty out of nothing and gives Essien two yellows without sending him off. Like, 1+1=2? How difficult is that. Yes, I feel for the Liverpool fans. Still, what's funnier is the reaction from the managers. Mourinho said he "couldn't get a good view of the incident". Well, contrast this to when Garcia scored that invisible goal years ago that knocked them out of the champions league, and you get a perfect example of "selective eyesight".

Still, Arsenal themselves have been playing so well, and if not for a certain Jens Lehmann, we would have had maximum points. No wonder I'm glad that he is apparently declared injured for 2 weeks. And so is Gallas, which would allow Gilberto to wear the captain's armband, which I feel he fully deserves.

Out of all this, it is Manchester CIty (i.e. Thaksin's club) who are topping the table. And this weekend is a face-off between North London and Manchester, with Arsenal v Man City and United v Spurs. Which makes things interesting. Would Man U fans prefer Arsenal to win or Man City to win, and vice versa. Whatever man, just as long as Arsenal win, which they should since Lehmann is not playing.

2007-08-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

The break is going along just fine. Nat Day celebrations was pretty ok, with the video and laser show and all. Oh, and BB somehow managed to rack enough points on the day to finish level on points with BW and 'retain' the IHC. Haha, albeit sharing half of it la, but hey, in many sports the defending champions win outright in the event of a tie. Oh wells, so much for IHC la.

Got started on reading Harry Potter once I was back home, but realised I forgot too much, so I'm re-reading book 5. Book 6 is still relatively fresh, so just book 5. Haha. Yes, I am very lag. But then again, I read Lord of the rings years before it was well-known, like in primary two? Certainly hard to believe.

Anyway wed had dinner with 2/4 pple at Bugis. Supposed to eat hotpot but coudln't find the place, so we ended up at some random steamboat place, which totally ripped us off. And the food wasn't too good either. But heck, it's the people, and not the food, who matter. And with me being unable to attend previous few outings it was great to see everyone again, and have some laughter as well. 'Sole surviving' sec 2 class. Aha.
Other than that it's been reading, studying, watching TV, and most importantly, sleeping. Ordinary Differential Equations are really killing me, integrating factors.......zz.

So, just found out that Arsenal v Fulham is on Sunday, along with United and Chelsea's matches. Starhub better show it or I'd be fuming along with the rest of the Arsenal fans in Singapore. So that makes the much-anticipated Aug 11 being pretty boring, unless Tottenham or Liverpool slip up, which I'm pretty sure they won't.
More news on Arsenal.
Today's Sportscenter on ESPN featured them and about their predictions for the season.
-Arsenal would not win anything.
Reeves: Fact. Maesfield: Fact. =( Harsh but true.
-Fabregas would be player of the season
Reeves: Fact Maesfield: Fiction.
Such a stupid qn, van Persie would beat Fabregas to anything, really.

And lastly, just got news that Gallas has been made captain, and not Gilberto or Toure, which totally baffles me. Some scum from Chelsea joins for one year and keeps criticising the youngsters and gets to be captain? And not forgetting that he himself isn't a good defender at all. Ah, the questions start springing up already.

2007-08-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

New skin on the way...will be using my sis's help, haha.
Had planned it in line for the start of the new season of the premier league, but I totally forgot about it, so I guess it'll be pretty much delayed. Oh wells.

The weeks are getting better. I am really, finding the subjects pretty ok now. Yes I mean I suck at them, but I do find what I'm studying useful and interesting, and I am hopeful that I will improve in time, t, haha. Most important though is that nothing I'm facing now is like art or chinese in secondary school. Haha, this week I found out that Yong Jin had similar problems with me in sec 1 and 2 regarding art. Something we were never ever meant to be good at. Ever.

So there isn't much happening during this week. Next week will be a short one and I will be working hard, very hard whenever I'm at home (and I guess I won't be for the most part of it). I am just hating my absentmindedness, I mean there was the pencil box, I totally forgot about making a new skin, and also I forgot to bring my PE shirt on Wednesday meaning I couldn't play tennis. Argh, it is frustrating, and if anything, it is a sign of further carelessness to come which will irritate me even more. Yeah, and I don't know how to fight it. It is like some invisible enemy that I'm facing, and I don't have it's number. Sigh.

Today was scholarship day at school. And yes, there were loads of freebies. Loads. Haha, I feel so stupid buying that mechanical pencil a few weeks ago. Even more so compounded by this chapter in the undercover economist, aha. Of course the talks were useful and stuff, and yes, I do worry about my future a lot. I'm sure my parents do too, only more. Come to think of it, I really would love the opportunity to go to a non-English speaking country like France or Germany, with the scholarships so generous now that you will get a year to study the language which counts to the bond period. I reiterate, UK is ideal of course, but in this world ideals are really things most of us can only approach. Sigh, I really am indecisive. Many people have their sights set on being an engineer of teacher, etc. I won't detest being either, but that's the crux of the problem. Well, there's still time. To think. Really hard.

Man, this entry sounds like an application of wave motion, if you can get what it means. So anyway, onto another crest. Earlier this evening got news that the debaters won the MIDCs against AC in the final. Haha, I'm sure all of them have made so many sacrifices to put in time to prep. hard and this is certainly their deserved reward. Well I suppose that's true to a certain extent. The results don't matter, it's the process, many say. But hey, you got to see it that way yourself to appreciate it, if not, you would find it as scant consolation. And if that is so, then that phrase is irrelevant, and there's nothing wrong with feeling that way. Absolutely nothing.

In a week's time, I would either be in huge agony now at a million and one missed contenders for miss of the season, or, I would be in ecstasy that Arsenal are still in title contention, the phrase I use to console myself nowadays. My hopes for the season : just don't, DON'T finish below our rotten rivals Tottenham. Or they would invent something like St. Arse day. (Just so you know, to avid fans like me, St. Totteringham's day is the day where Spurs will never be able to overtake Arsenal in the league table, =p) Now that would be so humiliating.

Back to the not-so-far-ahead future, and for tomorrow's community shield I really do hope to see Nani and Anderson (too bad no Tevez) play exceptionally well and score goals. Why? The curse of the community shield. For the last 3 years of the community shield, Reyes, Drogba, and Shevchenko respectively have scored fine goals. And yes, for each of those 3 coming seasons, they have been (as I love saying) rubbish.

Arsenal's pre-season has just been going smooth. 2 wins at the Emirates Cup, with a lovely goal from van Persie's left foot. And in Amsterdam we've already won 2-1 against Lazio, with new signing Eduardo da Silva scoring a fine debut goal for the club.

Anyway, I've always said that I wanted to be a football commentator, and my oh my, have I been given a great boost CHECK THIS OUT, it's absolutely comical.
Rosicky's corner and he delivers a lovely ball in, and Eduardo has perfect contact with it and heads in it brilliantly. Now for the funny part. The immediate image after the goal was scored was of Lazio defender Zauri, putting his hands on this head in disappointment (which believe me, all defenders do when their team leaks). This fooled the commentator into thinking he scored an own goal, and what he says is just plain funny. Towards the end, he was cut off, but what he said was 'He (da Silva) was almost sheepishly trying to claim it as his goal' (when it was clearly his own head that was the last to touch the ball before it went in). Worse, he reiterated his stand (that it was an own goal) even after replay after replay after replay was shown, as I recorded that match and watched it. Oh my, I could imagine him commentating in the 1986 World Cup Final when Maradona scored the 'Hand of God' goal and he would be saying 'lovely header' while the rest of England would be wanting to **** him. Miserable, but that's what Singapore viewers might be getting for the premier league with the likes of Dykes and Reeves no longer on our screens for pre-match shows.

2007-07-30T01:42:00.000+08:00

yeah, tmr is a holiday.
Like.......finally!
During the collection of O lvl results period...some schools has like 3 days off, some had 5! And we only had ONE.
Also, after common tests other schools had things like sabbaticals or enrichment week, and for us it was just business as usual.
So, this is well and truly and well-deserved break for us la, and all thanks goes to all the sports players who earned us this break. =)
22 golds! Like...how good is that?
Oh, and next Wed too, will be a school holiday since 07 08 07 celebrations is at night.

So, guitar pracs are finally resuming and I am realising how weak I am, but yeah thankfully the people there are really nice and helpful, and I'll certainly have to spend time memorising that piece of paper which I have about the note arrangement on the guitar...so I'll be able to be more pro-active and be able to read guitar scores. It's like so embarrassing, knowing how to read music scores but not know their corresponding positions on the guitar.

And, the weeks seem increasingly stretched...with physics H3 and olympiad meaning it's now 5+2+2=9 hrs of physics per week. Aha. Boy am I going nuts about it. But yeah, I'm thankful I have my saturdays free, I know that if I compare, there are tons of people who are so much busier than me, from those pple like AG who had to spend the whole week helping out for Lit week and Othello, councillors....etc. I am always so amazed at how these people can manage their time so well, and I have a lot of respect for such people.

So really, I hate myself when I try to compare myself with people who are so free, have few commitments, and think that I should pity myself. Oh, that would be my downfall.
As busy as I am, I know it's really only from my point of view, and if all things are relative, (or as economists would say relative to the marginal 'product'), I really shoudn't be lamenting anymore.

Perhaps if future work requires me to, then I'd have no choice, but I won't let myself be deprived of football for the next year or so. I know, Arsenal are a shadow of the team they once were. The Untouchables - Henry, Pires, Vieira, are just a shadow of their former self. They are no longer the match winners they once were. Yes, and now Ljunberg is the next one to go. He was the one that helped us to win 13 in a row in 2001-02 to storm from 12 points behind at one stage to beat Man United to the beat, and believe me, the sweetness of that was more than winning 03-04 unbeaten. yes, I remembered young me, boasting all over football forums then, yes. Now, I think about it.
Chelsea. Match winners? Cech. Terry. Carvalho. Lampard. Drogba. Joe Cole.
Man United? Ronaldo. Rooney. Giggs.
Liverpool? Gerrard. Carragher. Maybe Torres.
And, for Arsenal? yes, the first name people will probably mention is Fabregas, but seriously, the only one Arsenal have is van Persie. So, yes, I'm resigned to the fact that we are way behind in terms of quality relative to the other of the top 4. But hey, ask the same question of any other team in the premier league. And they would probably have none. If Arsene could swap any players now with any other player from the other 16 clubs, the only one that would be of interest is Berbatov or Tevez. Forget Michael Owen.
The beauty of football is that the whole is not the sum of it's parts, but rather, how they interact with one another.

And yes, I am eagerly awaiting Aug. 11. As for now I'll be doing all I can to offset the reduction in focus on studying come that day.

2007-07-10T22:33:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Class Adventure Camp.
As usual, we had lots of fun and laughter with the many jokes, funny remarks, and pervertic statements we cracked, but the planning of the entire camp really left much to be desired, in my opinion.

We were first spilt into feed me, protect me, and lead me groups, such lame names, but yeah it our class did it totally randomly and I was in feed me (cooking), which I totally suck at.
After arriving at Ubin, we had lunch and found out that the "non-drinking (but SUITABLE for washing hands etc.)" water had a tinge of brown on it. An understatement indeed. Managed to get a shot of Chen Xi staring at a 'STOP' sign for more than 3 minutes. Haha. Talk about spiritual link. zz.

Then we had our hiking activity which was pretty lame, just using a map and finding locations based on grid coordinates. Yes, it involved pacing and reading of bearings and checking of landmarks, and perhaps it's because I've been there twice for ATC (and OBS people would find it equally similar), it just felt a little boring. Got to 3 checkpoints until Yiting had an "eye ulcer" which was quite bad, so she unfortunately had to go home and we decided to abandon the hike thing and just stone around the basketball court.
Then, this facilitator made us solve this problem cum game which was about throwing stones. It was so diffucult and a high level of skill was required and so we couldn't do it, sigh, but what was worst was when we found out that the "solution" was really just that and involved so much skill and speed which made it as good as impossible. Or maybe TJ would have the solution to that if he was there, lol.

Well that burnt a lot of time and me ahlu and shiya went to buy dinner with whatever money we had 'earned', and how lucky that we could take the van all the way to the campsite, leaving the rest who had left quite awhile ago in their wake. I felt guilty though, lol. So we reached the campsite and to our relief there the water was at the least transparent. Man, the psychological effect of such differences cannot be underestimated.

So anyway we got about cooking dinner while the 'protect me' people were working hard setting up our 'tents'. Due to the restricted budgeting dinner was the usual noodles with canned food. Fortunately the pot did not collapse and thanks to great 'healthy food cookers' like Anna and Shiya dinner was pretty good, I.M.O again.

After that we had an oh-so-exciting nightwalk, where it was like a km or two of a straight trail which got darker and darker as you kept walking on. Of course I went solo for the kick of it, and yeah I just spent some time saying a prayer, and the rest of the walk reliving Federer's awesome win against Nadal, which I'll get to later.

So that was all for the main day of the hyped-up camp, and by 11 we were free to do whatever we wanted / sleep. So anyway fortunately due to my golf club membership, I got to sleep in the neatest tent along with 3/4 of the bridge club and xinyi and friends. lol. It was big but still tight for space. Anyway, we spent like an hour or so just plain joking about the day and about Giraffe, lol, which is what I call amusement. Oh, and AG's occasional random sick jokes. Ah, I really pitied the girls i.e. the bridge club people, esp. Giraffe for they just couldn't fall asleep for a long long time no matter how much they tried, esp. Alicia, haha. Not that we boys could do any better with the exception of Chris, lol, definitely not with non-stop comments about hurting internal organs and the tenderness of Giraffe neck meat, lol. zz.

So the average person had like 2-3 hrs of sleep. Which was OK for a camp la. Woke up at 7 and had a (as AG would agree) fun time cutting all the strings and destroying the tents, and hurling rocks down into the water and folding groundsheets and compressing them so much till they were able to fit into the bags which we were provided with. Breakfast was the bread with jam and lychee syrup. Big thanks to Giraffe for holding the bottle of jam and helping so many people spread jam on their bread. After that, Yong Jin and I played bridge with half of the bridge club i.e. Alicia and Joanna, where Yong Jin kept losing...aha.

At 9 we left the campsite anticipating something interesting like high elements or something of the sort but all we got to do was this sick task where we had to be blindfolded and walk together maintaining contact and eventually finding A tree quite SOME distance away and having everyone's hand touch the tree. I didn't really get the objective of such a task because it heavily relied on the skills of the front person, and whether she could walk straight and not get disorientated. Full marks to Elita for trying so hard and it must have been tough trying to do something virtually impossible and impractical. Hmmm, either that or maybe 'we chose one of a million possible strategies and it just happened to be one which wasn't suited for us'. Oh whatever la. I mean, fair enough, the facilitators (who according to Bong are primary 5 camp - rejectees) were doing their best to make the most out of the activities which had been planned for us, it was just that the activities were way too boring and un-interesting for us. Yes, my sympathy goes out to them if the events had been pre-planned by some other people but if otherwise then......

So that was it! And we were like off and heading back to Singapore i.e. civilisation and being within Singtel's network range, lol. Didn't really have much of a lunch, and just boarded the bus back to RJ the moment we got off the boat. Was left to do some cleaning stuff which was pretty...fun, splashing water to clean the groundsheets at the watermelon steps. And then, the best part of the 2 days....filling in the feedback forms! Boy were the few of us desperately waiting for it to really give the school our peace of mind so that future batches of j1s who go to Ubin as well enjoy themselves more. Speaking of that, it's just plain unfair that Jun Jie's class got to go to dairy farm and enjoy he high elements there. And still he thinks it's boring...haha. Well, thought about going to attend the first H3 phy lecture since it was only marginally after 1530 hrs...but then found out (rather obviously) that changing into uniform and staying awake would be too much for me to overcome, and so it was just home sweet home after that, heh.

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Got some much-needed sleep in the late afternoon, since I had slept at 2 on Sunday night watching the Wimbledon final, which I must say is the best tennis match I've ever watched live, and it was a pity Mom wasn't here to watch; Dad and her were in Prague for a week. Federer, winner of the Wimbledon in the last 4 years was outplayed for large parts of the match, to the surprise of the crowd, by Nadal's deep strokes which I must admit, are damn impressive. It was 15-40 twice in the final set and any of the 4 break points lost would be equivalent to Nadal winning the title, but he amazingly held on with great determination and then played a series of stunning winners to earn his 5th in consecutive years, in what was a hugely unlikely victory considering how the match panned out. Well, Federer sure inspired me on Sunday. How he managed to dig his way out of such a sticky situation only he knows, but for that he has achieved immortality status in the sport. And he......deserves it.

2007-07-07T23:35:00.000+08:00

Back-to-school week. And the problem I had of insomnia has disappeared, so be replaced by the usual bout of tiredness again. It seems like something which is either at one end or at the other end, something which never equilibrates, a la diarrhoea and constipation.

Well no guitar this week, so it's a good way to return to school. Although there's the small issue of olympiads and H3s looming as large as the dark clouds were at SW19 in London this week.

New timetable is pretty similar to the old one except now there is a PHY-PHY to add to the 3 consecutive hours of chem we have on monday. More importantly, changes to our tutors. Our dear CT Ms. Wu is now replaced by Mr Wong but he is away for a month of so, so our current PHY teacher is a female j3 teacher who is *ahem* attracting a lot of attention. Haha. Not that there's anything wrong la, seriously.

And now our CT is this Mr Lim guy and I'll give him a few more weeks before I comment on him. So we've got back math, chemistry and GP thus far. Physics and econs - not anticipated- to come next week. Well I guess our math CT isn't as difficult as other school's, but yeah considering the fact that I had barely 3 hours of sleep the night before, and getting so angry over insomnia, I'm glad I managed to maintain my concentration for the test and did well, so I'm glad, although I know there are much sicker tests to come. Anyway 6N truly owns, with like the only 2 students who scored full marks for math coming from there! Chem was bad, and I'm relieved to have been able to scrap the grade I got. GP was truly disappointing, reminiscent of the english marks I got during sec 3 and 4. Yeah well I guess for CTs it all boils down to the word 'relative', yeah, I can compare with people such as the geniuses that are in my class, and I can also compare with a load of other people and suddenly feel fortunate to be able to do better. So, oh wells, I'm fairly content, especially considering the noise that came from above every day of the holidays. But, I suppose subjects like GP and econs for me, will be works in progress, just like Rafael Nadal, just like Arsenal. Some people just start of doing well at stuff, and I'm thankful I'm coping pretty ok with the sciences. From my point of view, GP and econs, as bad as they seem, is not chinese. So hey, it's just more time and effort needed to be put in and I'm sure it'll improve - same thing for anyone facing a problem with a subject not chinese. And yeah, there's still plenty of time to work on them. And if (BIG IF) the A ever arrives eventually, the feeling will be all the more sweeter, and if it never comes, they hey, be glad that you've given your best shot at it, and there's no need to be obsessed with wanting to do well at it and resorting to retaking or rechecking or what not. Hats off to you if you know what I'm hinting about. Sometimes, you just need to hold your hand up and admit you got outdone. The point is never to be too confident, and never to be too disappointed. (Another eg. of something which never equilibrates)

Anyway, after sounding pretty (by my low low standards) philosophical I'll shift my focus to the rest of the week's events. My parents were off to Prague on holiday for a week, so it's just me and sis and our maid at home, and no construction noise any more, thankfully. Thurs CG was just great. Attendance for it was good, and I especially liked the sermon discussion session we had after that. It was truly insightful to discuss issues from the previous sermon by Ben Lee, and just allowing each person to share his or her own free-flowing thoughts, with no 'proper notes' or 'answers' to the question we 'attempted' to figure out. It was really enriching for all of us who participated in it, and that's the way we really should act, persevering to gain knowledge of the truth.

Well, today is LIVE EARTH day, and while a large percentage of the population will be spending it romancing and getting married - nothing wrong at all, what a wonderful way to spend such a day if you could - I got to do some reflection of the state of the earth, of global warming, and the scary thoughts of the world that the generation or two ahead of us would have to endure. Then again, there is nothing much that can feasibly be done without upsetting anyone. So, sigh, to the people who insist on not helping developing countries. Week after week such insightful editorials appear within the Straits Times, and I'm sure even better ones appear in the newpapers in the US or UK, and I'm even more sure that top government officials are aware of them, and hence the conclusion that they can't do much about it, which is sad.

Not so sad, is the state of Arsenal. Yes, Man U has had big signings like Nani, Anderson and Hargreaves, and Liverpool has Torres, and Chelsea still has the only one that keeps them alive and doing so well - the special one. But there's that stubborn confidence within me of Arsenal for next term, that they are so going to cope well. At least better than Real Madrid, who are so stupidly creating speculation after speculation about all of Arsenal, players, manager. zzz. All they do is aim to get quick-fixes which would so obviously backfire. Now they will become a worse-than-arsenal team with Beckham gone. Wahaha, the ethics of journalism.

Well, 7 days ago, I would have turned 17 17 days from now, on the 17th. Do the math.

2007-06-30T00:55:00.001+08:00

Salvation, was what happened to all humans when He died on the cross.
And such a comforting and blessed word it is to human beings, that it is commonplace in the English vocabulary now. It has no links to the word 'salvage', btw.
Salvation, is also a frequently word used in the world of football, often when a late winner is scored or a string of good saves are made, especially in leagues like Italy where they do indeed believe in the 'footballing gods'.
And alas, salvation is what we felt when the common tests finally ended. It's been tough days for me, plagued by insomnia. Somehow, the tiredness I usually feel during the eves of tests were absent, and I just couldn't fall asleep! Seems quite a few people had such problems too, and now I know how badly it feels. Sunday night could only sleep at 3, and monday could only sleep at 4. Thankfully the monday and tuesday tests were afternoon tests, and I was able to rid the problem on tuesday night, just in time for Wednesday's morning paper.

Well, econs was a real test of time, maths was a test of whether you have did your tutorials, chemistry was a test of our brain saturation level, and physics was a test of carefulness. That's my interpretation of the tests. Nothing more to say till the papers are back. =)

So anyway, fortunately enough I had no tests on Friday, so I could go about getting much-needed sleep and spending time on the phone with friends, which is so, so, good to relieve stress. Friday was Anderson's Speech Day too, which was great meeting up with all the ex-andersonians and enjoying ourselves and the momentary freedom that we have, as well as having short chats with the teachers that have brought us to where we are. The concert was interesting, except the storyline was pretty random.

With some time available, I'll start uploading pictures of my trip to Paris and London.

Day 1.

The pantheon

Church Notre Dam.

Very artistic stuff at Luxembourg Garden.

Day 2

This is the Invalides. A military monument housing many tombs including that of France's most famous hero, Napoleon Bonaparte.

Musee de Rodin. The sculpture there is 'The Thinking Man'.
That and the abit of the Eiffel Tower in the second picture.

Arc de Triomphe.

At the base of the Arc.

Making our way up the countless steps.

View from the top.

Champs Elysees. The popular road leading to the Arc which contains loads of food outlets and shops.

Pont (French for bridge) Alexandre. The bridge with the best sights in Paris.

Arc de Triomphe du Carousel, very much smaller than the real Arc and it's opposite Musee de Louvre.

Outside the Louvre. The controversial triangle was the idea of the famous IM Pei as all you da vinci code readers would know.

Overlooking the Louvre.

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Ok that's all for now then. Gee, football news hasn't been great. It seems Wenger is looking to Martins as the replacement for Henry, and believe you me, he is rubbish. And so is Henry's reason for leaving. Sigh, are you just not brave enough to admit that you think the future is bleak for the club? At least more comforting news is that Rosicky and Ljunberg are eager to stay on for the long haul. Oh well, that probably means that in a year or two they would leave for some European club with bigger tradition as "things are not just the same after that canteen waiter has left the club". Get the sarcasm?

2007-06-24T02:50:00.000+08:00

It's getting ridiculously late into the night, and yet I still can't sleep. Hate it during these nights, and they seem to happen ever-increasingly. Sigh.

Anyway, I was feeling unwell on friday night, that weird and ominous feeling in the throat. I tried to sleep early, and then I suddenly woke up feeling very giddy. Went out for a drink but that only made it worse, until...at last - vomit, "salvation", albeit very temporary. I felt normal right after vomiting, though the giddiness started to course back through my veins (i mean brains), and it was morning spent in bed. I prayed that I could recover soon, I knew monday was not a problem for me, I was strong enough for that. But it was whether I could recover and study anything by monday, for the toughest of the lot. And thank God, I was able to recover by the evening, spending practically the entire day in bed and doing nothing but reading the newspapers and replying to sms-es until there was this one message that particularly jolted me. I'll move on to that later (it's very anti-climax la really.) So anyway as I laid in bed, I thought of yesterday, CG, and I remembered (bits of) the sentences that Leon ripped off a card from Hallmark, that God would not give us more burdens than we can handle. That, and the fact that the nature of our relationship is with trials and tribulations. A somewhat surge in confidence ran through me then, I finally felt I could get through the week ahead. God is on my side. He would pull me through, as long as I put in my 100%. It's funny, how I sounded so pessimistic before and during the holidays, and then it is during times of suffering (this is hardly suffering compared to others la but..) that one finds the motivation to get on with life. The moment of reflection and realisation. That is also why I love watching sports. To be inspired by how sportspeople react in times of adversity.

Anyway, that bout of sickness meant it was another one missed. Rather I'd like to think it as a lesson well-worth-it that I have learnt. I look through my MSN contact list and there are plenty of occurences of pessimism. People saying they aren't ready for midyears and such, and true, I am no more prepared than them in terms of what I've been able to get into my head. However, I am indeed mentally and spiritually prepared for the week ahead. And when you are, you've always got a chance. I forgot who said it, but to win a Grand Slam Final or a penalty shootout, the only difference is in the mind. Obviously, England players are always too fired up about how they failed to win a game in normal time or extra time, and so they always falter during shootouts. And, to continue on this sports analogy thingy, I have 4 papers in the coming week. And monday's economics will certainly be the equivalent of Federer's French Open. Just FYI, Federer has been the no.1 tennis player for 3 years already and he has won every grand slam except the French. Just weeks ago, he was beaten in Paris by his arch rival Nadal. It was a pity. But oh wells, back to the common tests, all results are relative. And indeed, any progress would be good. As I always say, time is the enemy. And it is such a tough thing to overcome. I could never finish a higher chinese paper with the feeling that 'I wouldn't have written anything more if I had 5 more minutes'. Same thing is happening to be with GP and econs. But that is the challenge of it all. =)

So, the one message that was unexpected was the one that mentioned that Henry, the star of Arsenal and the Premier League's best player since the turn of the millenium, is leaving, for Barcelona. Smirks. Fair enough, he has been transformed by the manager into the star that he is now, and he has given more than that in return to the club. He has been dazzling during 03-04 when we were unbeatable. And in the past 2 seasons, he has been in decline. The spectacular goals have been very low in supply, and, he has no longer been the inspiration he once was to the rest of the team. Oh yeah, and he cost us the Champions League in 2006 with miss after miss which any average striker would have tucked away easily, and I mean easily. Indeed, the role of Arsenal captain is not an easy one. He has not been able to lead the team well, and now, at least we'll have someone worthy of being captain. He is heading to Barcelona, and I feel for him. Barcelona are going to become what Real Madrid was many years ago, a team of 'galacticos' i.e. superstars. Yes, they have Ronaldinho, Eto, Messi, and now Henry. When you have an attack like that, you know your defence is going to be under huge pressure to allow them to function. And sadly, as Real Madrid found out, that doesn't win you titles. So, this is indeed the end of an era for Arsenal. All the players I've come to know and like when I first supported them - Bergkamp, Vieira, Ashley Cole, Pires, and now Henry - are gone. It's time a new batch of players rise that I come to assosiate with under "the time when I lived", haha. And the future is bright. Whoever replaces Henry, will come to be known as the legend of Arsenal for this era, it's time Henry stops overshadowing the other wonderful players that have developed in this wonderful club. Yeah, let's move on.

2007-06-18T22:45:00.001+08:00

I'm finally back from my overseas trip with my family.
It's been 10 days of non-stop walking and walking, and taking the subway, having a quick meal and then, more walking, haha.
But of course, it's been so refreshing and enriching and inspiring to see all the wonderful things that Paris and London had to offer that one could never get in Singapore (apart from cheaper food), and I got to spend so much quality time with my parents. It is certainly worth screwing up a common test (which I will, rest assured) for this, and I'd do this trade again, for sure. (Okay maybe not)

Here's the rough outline of my trip.

I left Singapore on the night of the 7th (thursday). The 13-hour odd flight direct to Paris meant that I arrived at Paris Charles de Gaulle at 7+ on the 8th. Time zone difference between Paris and Singapore is 6 hours. (We are ahead). So, taking the 8th as Day 1...

Day 1:
Took a bus and then Metro (their MRT) to the hotel, checked in.
Went to see the Pantheon (different from Athen's Parthenon) which was very nearby.
Walked to Notre Dame, checked it out.
Walked more to some shopping centre.
Looked around, then went to Luxembourg garden, and then back to the hotel.

Day 2:
Went to this museum-cum-garden of Rodin, which included the sculpture "the thinking man".
Then took the Metro to Champs Elysees, the widest and most crowded of the NINE roads leading to the Arc de Triomphe. Went up the Arc de Triomphe after that, took good pictures. Went back early to rest.
Came back out at night (which is like at 10, cos that's when the sun STARTS to set, it gets dark by 1045 approx.) to see the Eiffel Tower at night.

Day 3:
Went to see the Eiffel Tower during the day. Went up this time. Amazing views.
Then walked to the area around the tower, where there are quite a few wonderful-looking buildings. Walked all the way through some gardens to the entrance of the Louvre. Didn't go in, went back instead.

Day 4:
Went to see Musee de Louvre and Palais Royal, which occupied us till like four plus. Then went to Sacred Coeur which is just another of the many many many brilliant looking churches in Paris.

Day 5:
Took a train to the outskirts to this place called Versailles. O level History students would know this place. Spent the day exploring the palace and the huge garden. Went back to Paris in the afternoon to buy souvenirs. And that's my 5 days in Paris!

Day 6:
Took the morning flight from Paris to Dusseldorf, Germany, then from Germany to London Heathrow. (Btw, France is nearer to England than to Germany, and there's a funny reason for such a weird route which I can explain if you ask).
Reached our hotel which was right outside King's Cross Station.
Checked in. Then went to see the Tower of London and the Tower Bridge (different from London bridge). Then went to Westminster to see the London Eye and the Big Ben in daylight. Next was Piccadilly Circus where we did some shopping and had dinner.

Day 7:
Went to Madame Tussauds. The wax sculptures are amazingly real-like.
Next, took the train up north to Arsenal Station and saw the Emirates Stadium, whatever was left of Highbury, and went to the Armoury to buy some Arsenal souvenirs.
Went out at night to see the Tower Bridge, London Eye, and Big Ben.

Day 8:
Went to Victoria Station to see Buckingham Palace and the changing of guard ceremony (which is daily). Then spent the rest of the day at the natural history museum. Then walked abit to see Imperial College. Dad was not feeling well with persistent hiccups (really hope it's not serious) and so we went back early.

Day 9:
Sat on the London Eye. Apparently Singapore's will be bigger, cool eh?
Then went to Portobello Road, it was downpour at that time, so it was difficult to move about. Now I know why so many players can't stand the English weather. Had dinner with my cousin at Chinatown near Leicester Square. She studied actuarial science at London School of Economics and is now working (and earning a good income!). There were plenty of limousines probably containing celebs as they went to attend some movie premiere.

Day 10:

Late start to the day due to packing and checking out. Went to see the Millenium Bridge and St. Paul's Cathedral and Tate Modern Gallery in the afternoon, and then Marble Arch.
Went back to the hotel to get our luggages, took the Underground to Paddington Station after which we took the Heathrow Express to get the airport in a very quick 15 minutes. Taking the normal underground would take 45++.

Pictures to come and more detailed stuff when I have more time, hopefully. =)

2007-06-06T00:39:00.000+08:00

I'll be leaving on the night on Thursday, the 7th, for Paris and then London and I'll only be back on the 18th. Which means........my CTs are pretty much screwed. But oh wells, I'm not rich enough to be able to cancel the trip and not feel guilty so I guess I'll just really enjoy myself there and relax myself.....away from notes and tutorials and cool (yes cool) textbooks. Yeah, I've decided I ain't going to bring any notes or textbooks or TYS or tutorials and what not. So I'll finally be able to spend time really the books which I really do enjoy reading (purely for the sake of it), i.e. football biographies (gonna read Jose's and Terry's), Philosophy books (those very simplified ones), and math storybooks on numbers, the one thing I find especially fascinating about math. It's going to be my first venture into Europe, and it's a long-awaited one. No disneyland and no theme parks, but I guess I've experienced enough of those, now it's time to appreciate the finer things in life that you can't experience in Singapore, such as the Louvre and Madame Tussauds'. Another thing that (if there is time and hopefully there will be) would be cool is to check out sporting arenas. This Sunday (will be in Paris by then) will be the final of Roland Garros (French Open - Tennis) and it will 99% be a Federer - Nadal final. Of course I won't be able to get a ticket, but I guess it would be cool to see the atmosphere around the stadium. Also during my time in London I'll be able to make a trip to my dear Arsenal's lovely new home - Emirates Stadium. (picture above, lol). Oh well, that's a lot of cool stuff I can't wait to see. Also, the usual overseas 'formalities'...kapoh-ing food from the airport lounge...vomiting on the plane (?), fitting into miserably small accommodation rooms, making the most out of 'free/provided' breakfasts...those are just typical stuff of my family. ANYWAY, back to CTs, and the reality is that I had planned to hardcore during the last week, but, owing to lack of urgency and in part my weakness, I just couldn't discipline myself to be in full-fledged studying mode. Sadly. So, I'm practically staring down the barrel of a bunch of disappointing results. But sigh, I only have myself to blame at the end of the day. If I was determined enough, probably rushing everything during the one week remaining after I return from the trip would be enough for me to scrap through with reasonable grades, but I know I won't. Yeah, maybe writing this will sort of like spur me on to make me eat my words, but (again) I know I won't. (I'm not even bothering to reduce it a "I doubt I will or something". Haha) But anyway, I'll enjoy myself in Europe, that I am sure. =)

Last Friday was Central Service! And I think it is indeed amazing for a district to reach Nexus already. It really is a breakthrough and looking through all the slides I really wished to be part of it, to have been part of the central family earlier...so I would really feel the taste of progress. But no la, Northeast is amazing too, and I'm sure they'll hold their own service in due course. yeah? Haha. Moving on, the speech Daniel made was very direct and true. The humour involved was minimal, but we were all fully focused on what he was saying, that Nexus is our 'set' target for now, for all groups be it JC, high school or NS. I really haven't been devoting much of my time to Him, but I'll really keep on trying. It is difficult asking people to come to church, sigh, but there's always that glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel to look out for.

Then that night, I just couldn't fall asleep. I was feeling so unwell. I was twisting and turning for the most part of the night, only being able to catch half-hours here and there. I finally vomited at 6 in the morning - all that i ate for dinner (which was at PS with the cg). After that, I felt ok. And then gradually, the giddiness came back again. And it lasted for the rest of the day. That sick feeling was just sucky. I had to stay in bed all day long, couldn't eat anything for breakfast or lunch (no appetite), and I was starting to feel all hot and sweaty. I feared dengue, but then my temperature did not go beyond 38.5, so I wasn't having a fever. So, I decided to persist and just fall asleep in bed instead of seeing a doctor. After all I think I would have felt much worse walking to the car, and would have been even more giddy in the car. So, it just didn't look like getting any better. I was praying, and then suddenly by 5pm I was able to start walking again, and by the night I was ok to watch TV and read books again. [My opportunity cost of studying]. Thank God for that. At the peak of my short spite of giddiness, I was even contemplating the fact that I would not be able to go on the trip. I guess that's just the typical pessimism I have.

Speaking of worries. I have been worrying a lot lately. I worry about my health. Whether, eating so much cereal and Weetbix will result in cancer. Whether, my retina might just drop off anyway. Whether, eczema is a prelude to something very serious. Whether, I will get cancer because my gums are not well (there WAS this Mind Your Body article this week about this..). I worry about my parents too, especially my dad. His myopia is quite bad, I worry everytime he has to drive back home from work and it's already past 7. I'm saying why not take the bus? Why not even take a taxi? And then I'll refute the second point cause I know it's too expensive and I'm a cheapskate. Recently my mom just told me of a scary threatening phone call to my cousins living in Penang. Sigh, why do such evil people exist in this world? And why is their law enforcement there so corrupted? Oh whatever. I'm just thankful that Singapore is such a safe place. And it would be a safe place even if there is strong opposition to the ruling party. It's the foundations which matter.

Anyway then on Monday there was PW. Only like 12 people turned up and we had to wait like half an hour in the stuffy area outside the comp. labs, and it was really frustrating and sweaty. lol. We really could (and should) have had a class breakfast. My group finally made great progress (at least I think)! But alas, there is still a long long way to go. After that met with Weelic and Cybil who were studying at the library, went to borrow some books about french and some math books. [Math books doesn't mean math textbooks here duh.], then went for lunch and back to school to see Jun Jie screw up at Chinese Chess...aha. So yesterday night and this morning, I have finally [or perhaps I'm just saying this to make myself feel good / show-off] shown some signs that I CAN study hard enough for CTs...did revision of Math and Chem and managed to do a few long-winded energetics questions. Now the thing is doing them fast enough, sigh. Speed is always my no.1 enemy for exams. Or should I say, time. So anyway, I was doing well for 1 night and 1 morning and I was going to continue it into the afternoon until bang-on-the-nail there had to a complete hacking down of the house above mine. The noise was like so loud, I couldn't talk on the phone, watch TV, study, read books, or do anything I thought was meaningful use of time. It was frustrating to let that momentum go. Cause it takes a lot to get me into that willing-and able-to-study mode. So I went down to the management office and asked why on earth the thing took place so abruptly without even any asking if any date was suitable. And thankfully he responded very nicely which made me decide to hold my frustration and just get on with life [nothing he could really do anyway]. So I just spent the afternoon running and then going to the gym downstairs and [the best part of it] bathing at the pool bathroom which means saving a few cents off my water bill. lol. And so that's how the pitiful day came to an end. At night I just wasted it chatting on the phone and reading some books and watching a bit of French Open, Federer's quarter final match. You see? Momentum lost. So much so for learning principle of conservation of momentum, I wonder where all that has gone to.

Ah. I've recently read some this interesting book about sleeping well and beds. (Cause there were some occasions where I've tried sleeping early and couldn't). And I decided I will try to change a few things. The book mentioned that the bed should only be used for sleeping and sex. So, fair enough. Only sleeping for me. I will do my reading of books/notes/work on some slightly-more-uncomfortable surface. I suppose the idea of it is all about relativity (not THAT relativity, but), making your bed feel relatively more comfortable. It also mentioned no afternoon naps. Sigh, I don't know how I am going to be able to avoid afternoon naps and watch champions league matches...but I guess I'll just have to reach a compromise eventually. Indeed, almost everything in life is relative. It has to be balanced with realism too. And then pessimism (so things don't become too realistic). Ah, I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Let's talk about soccer.

It's all pretty sad stuff in this entry today really. But I'll try to change it. The champions league was over long ago, but I must talk about it. England had 3 teams in the semi-finals. Chelsea. Liverpool. Manchester. No Arsenal in there, and everyone was saying how Arsenal have been 'left behind' and 'trailing'. What nonsense, since not one of those clubs managed to win it. Ahaha. I was really hoping for a Milan win and boy they did they do me proud. Yet again like last year, it was 2-1. Yet again, the team which dominated lost. This time the victims weren't Arsenal, they were Liverpool, the team with the supposed 'winning culture'. And even that couldn't lift them in the grandest stage of all club football at Athens. They lacked cutting edge and were simply outclassed by Milan. Ah, just as I declared when Italy beat Germany en route to winning the World Cup last year in Berlin, FORZA ITALIA.

Lastly, I recently got links from friends to some blogs by local students, with shocking content. I guess Singapore does indeed have some very extreme personalities who lead very extreme lives. Ah, while it's sad so know that such who commit such disgusting acts exist amongst us students in Singapore, I do admire the openness they have in describing explicitly the lives that they lead. After all, blogging is a freedom of speech. What wrong is there to offend yourself?

2007-05-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

Busy week ahead, so I'll keep it short.

Monday had guitar practice till 8, and stupid me cut my nails, so it was oh so painful and took a heck-of-a long time for me to get used to it. Also got back that crazy Machiaveli compre on politics which was a slight improvement over my previous one la, although I still need much work on time management. Of course, there are people who can just consistently get 40/50 and top the class when the next highest is just 32 or 33. That's what I call deviation and that is simply amazing. Which is why 6N is BIG. lol.

Tuesday had econs case study test, and like many others I couldn't finish on time. Sigh, what's the point. Standardized marking across the level has resulted in bad-8, average-13 and good-13, over 25 btw, according to ms wong. zzz.
And there was also physics SPA, which, i screwed up, aha. But hey, I've moved on from the guy who would dread over it for nights and nights, and thank God for that realisation that there's so much more to life. I'm thankful that the A level SPA is split up into so many separate practicals, so that our SPA mark would be a good reflection of our practical skills (and acting skills). I'm thankful that I've got chem B and C out of the way with an assured sub-full mark kind of performance, so hey, there are a lot of positives to point to. Somehow, I still get frustrated when Arsene Wenger (Arsenal manager) keeps talking about the positives when the young gunners lose a match or a cup tie. But anyway, that's not the point.

So to all who managed to mess up your SPA (which I doubt will be much), fret not. There's more than enough time to improve.

Wed, we had a dry run for the concert in the PAC. I was a little pissed and stressed when I was suddenly put in charge of the stage hands and had 2 (yes TWO) minutes to assign people for the tech plan. Obviously it was near-impossible, but what was worse was when we got 'scolded' as if we had a week to prepare this. Oh well, so the tech plan on wed was screwed but at least during the dry run there was a lot more time in between performances to assign people to bring/remove whatever. Ended at 8+. Anyway, it meant I couldn't go for match support at Police Academy for the rugby guys against SAJC, which RJ WON! by 24-15. Coupled with the 7-3 win against AC a couple of weeks ago at our home turf, we have got to be favorites. Yet, AC still seems to hog the sports pages in ST. Ah, media stereotypes (shan't elaborate).
Oh, and I finally had PE after 3weeks (my eczema has flared up badly within those weeks again, but I shan't elaborate on it anymore). Although it was basketball (which I.M.O is rubbish) it was good to play with our classmates and not those imba guys from the other class. And I could get a few high speed sprints to maintain my fitness with regards to running.

Thur, had to stay back to do abit of PW and then of course there was phy olym. Which reminds me, selection test is next thur, just a day after the big GP CT. Will I watch the champions league final on wed morning? Damn.

Friday then, had debaters AGM and guitar concert at night. At debaters AGM I tried to run for treasurer but like Yong Jin, didn't get it la. Either way, 6N is still really a big class la, with the AV vice chair, Council Treasurer and BB house captain in it. BIG! Now I won't be sour grapes and mention about stereotypes again. But guitar concert went relatively smooth, although it was so hot in the PAC, thanks to the highly-intense lights. Man, now I can understand why people express concerns for the night F1 race in Marina Centre.

So that's my week in short. "short". FA Cup Final tomorrow, and I'll just enjoy it from a neutral's point of view. EPL season is finally over. Arsenal's first at the Emirates Stadium was my worst yet, but hey, when it's that bad, the only way to go is ___. Can't wait for the holidays, need to catch up on sleep friends, and, spend more time thinking about my future, and what's right.

Lastly, my personal message as of now is that
"Some people just always look beautiful in my eyes."
And mind you, it's not football-related, and it means what it means.
Now, am I sounding unusual, untypical or am I being just a little more honest?

2007-04-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

It's almost a month since I've last blogged. Sigh, it's not an easy habit to maintain....

I mentioned in my previous post I need more self-control. And if I have free afternoons, I will more often than not, spend them slacking away during class lunches [which is not entirely meaningless in all honesty], playing bridge at mini-canteen, or worst, at home, either sleeping since I watched prem. league midwk matches / champions league matches, or playing the computer [which means FIFA / middle-earth], Gosh, imagine if I had Tiberium Wars........then I would indeed be wasting all my afternoons. So, might as well load up the afternoons, cos I'm sticking to my policy of night-time studying; that's the only time I ever seem to be able to focus.

The other aspect of self-control was about eczema. And boy did it get worse very very quickly. By week 2/3, the rashes were as bad as last year. And i'm sure pple like Jun Jie and Cybil would know all about it, how it stained my uniform, affected my sleeping and more seriously my writing habits [can't pivot the elbow on the desk]. And guess what, deja vu. =(. I had to be so disciplined to continue to apply the cream on those disgusting areas, and to use cotton wool to dab potassium permanganate solution on it every morning, every night. [which means preparing the hot water, adding the crystals in minute amounts.....etc.] And yes, there were days and nights where I was totally down, not in a good mood at all. I'm sorry to those people who have had to endure my remarks, including my family, and really a big thanks to those who gave me a call or sms-es. Some days, when I wake up, i spend 5 minutes in bed, sulking and thinking when it will go away. Those sms-es really cheered me up, and of course, thank God that I kept the faith by continuously praying. Well, fortunately the stains on my uniform [pus and blood] could be washed off without any permanent scars, so, phew. And the anti-biotics has dried up most of them, although I'm still expecting a short second spell of rashes after which it would go into dormancy again. Oh well, really hope it can go away by the June hols when I'll be going overseas.

The other part i wrote about it my previous entry was about my temper. And I lost it at times due to the stress and immense itch from having eczema. And, to all those who keep telling me not to scratch, it's not that I don't appreciate it; I do. It's just, the scratching, it's not for want of it. If i could choose not to, I would. Unfortunately, the itch is really unbearable. Comparing anti-itch tablets to anesthesia for surgery would definitely be exaggerating, but not by a million miles. And believe me, imagine not being able to pivot your hand on the table [unless you want to stain it] and having to draw curves. It's that irritating. So I'm sorry, but once I hear the 'stop scratching' too many times within a short period of time, it is downright annoying. [Again, not that I don't appreciate it, I'm just being honest] Well, enough of the self-pity [that I fully deserve]. Specialists seem to have so much difficulty diagnosing the cause of the rashes, so why not, all you bright bio students out there, take that step and go research into areas like this. Instead of the standard stuff. I fully agree with Lee Wei Ling's comments. There are so many other different aspects of the human anatomy to do research on.

Okay. The other aspect of my temper to control on was football. And it has been difficult not to lose my temper as well. sigh. Arsenal have simply been in free-fall since February. All was looking so bright, challenging for the 3 cups, and then all of a sudden knocked out of all of them in a matter of 11 days. Worst was to come, from being comfortably in 3rd, they've lost 3 on the trot, first 1-0 away to Everton from a last minute sickener in a match they dominated possession. Then 4-1 to Liverpool, Arsenal's biggest loss in 6 years, thanks to defending that was nothing short of comical [unless you're an Arsenal fan]. That was humiliating indeed. Forums were filled with cocky Liverpool fans' boasting soon after. But what to do, ai. Thankfully, I wasn't able to watch that match due to debates camp. Okay, it climaxed when we lost to West Ham 0-1 at home. First home loss in the new stadium, gosh, and who would have ever expected it to come against a team like West Ham [who are rubbish]. Yet again, a match dominated, with amazing chances wasted, the woodwork hit twice, amazing goalkeeper, and some invisible force preventing the ball from getting across the line. Yes, I was chatting with Arsenal fans I got to know from some forum, and we were all worried that the unbeaten run at the Emirates stadium would be broken by Chelsea who are due to play Arsenal in the penultimate game of the season. Guess we all looked too far ahead. I was really shocked by the result, and I badly wanted to scream. Thank you for that sms just moments after the match had ended. I know you don't watch football but you somehow knew the result and you calmed me for slightly. Slightly, but enough.

Alas, that's the beauty of football, to see a team bottom of the league winning at the Emirates, where big teams like Man U and Liverpool have lost, and then also to see leaders Man U lose to Portsmouth. THat's precisely why football is so exciting.

Oh well, it's already week 5, and econs test sucked. lol. Now i know why Mr Vadi keeps talking about the adjusting process by drawing all those funny arrows, and so many of us just assume it and don't explain it. Oh wells. Better not go too in-depth on it anyway.

It's been busy weeks, since I'm now in like...guitar (just learning....), R-artistic, 4d cinema course and debaters....and hoping to get into phy olympiad also. As the saying goes, "Jack of all trades...master of none", that probably applies to me, just substitute the 'all' with 'almost all'...But i suppose, since there's only 2yrs of JC, we have really got to make the best use of our time, and that means cramming everything. sigh.

School's been okay la. Recently us "golf club members" have become very sick with our interpretation of golf terms.
"Ah, I missed a birdie"
"Screw the hole."
Okay, more to come next time when [hopefully] a full list of it will be compiled, lol.
Anyway, I've made my mind up and I've now got an N73 which has a damn good camera, and damn cool phone speakers too, heh. Who cares about Wifi man.

Just met with Leon [my new shep.] and Raphael at ps for dinner. Raphael had to go after awhile, so it was quite good getting to know Leon better, and talking about the different cultures in our schools, and I realized that there ARE indeed major differences. Oh well, I'm happy that I chose Raffles over Hwa Chong. And I will leave it at that. =)

2007-03-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

Long time since I've been able to find the time to blog. Either way, already into week ONE of term TWO. And I haven't been really getting serious about work yet, sigh. But that's not the point.

I have certainly over-exhausted myself during term 1 with all those late nights, and the holidays spent in Penang with my relatives were certainly a good reprieve. I guess not seeing each other often, has made us treasure that one week per year we have together. And it just shows how much we've grown. Always staying at my aunt's house in Penang, I would play computer games all day long with my cousins [two of them, one 2yrs older, the other a yr younger, than me]. That was during the pri sch days. Then during sec sch, more MSN-ing already on our own computers (with my dad bringing his laptop). We still watch TV programmes together, such as HBO movies or Discovery documentaries or Starworld sitcoms. Next, upper sec. Less talk now, still watch TV programmes together. Oh, and football matches too of course. And now, the elder cousin has left for UNSW in Sydney to study medicine. Btw, some trivia, my family is really a medicine family, with so many doctors/ specialists. Though I don't think I have the interest to be one.

And oh well, played alot of mahjong, and now i know how to count money. haha. But yeah, I enjoyed myself, I enjoyed the suppers I had, and I enjoyed embracing my grandma, I enjoyed listening to the worship songs I haven't had time to listen to, I was able to spend more time with Him. I've got the rest I needed, and I'll be rearing to go this term. And I do hope to improve my faith, my self-control and TEMPER (with regards to football and this fresh spell of eczema), and my willingness to spend more time with friends. Oh, and my academics of course which I am struggling indeed...lol.

Monday, first day back to school was unusual indeed. L'odges used to be filled with RGS uniforms, and now its all RJ uniform and the campus looks so whitish all of a sudden. Oh well, we got our new timetable, and it's better and worse. The good: less breaks. The bad: two days where there are 5 periods in a row withOUT breaks. And it will be a case of tough starts and smoother endings, with mon and tues ending at 315, and then everyday after that is earlier than the previous one until friday which ends at 1130! wow. And now I'll have 8, yes EIGHT rooms in total to go to throughout the week. zzz. A55, B31, A68, C63, D3SR5, H1R6, A24, and B41. Rooms in so many different blocks. Man, it's so different from the B45/46 which were side by side during our first term. So much for the timetable man.

Tuesday, was the last CG for grads. And it was a good atmosphere, with almost everyone present, and it was especially nice to be able to make it, and of course nicer to have Jelvin and Syn Yeow coming. I really prayed hard for alot of things during worship, and I it was meaningful. Funnily/Fatefully enough, I had been listening to At The Cross on the way there, and also many times on my iPod. I've checked, and it is indeed the 3rd most listened to song on my iPod, with first being Coldplay's Fix You. And I realised, many times I'm reading verses out loud, when I'm singing songs out loud, I focus solely on the lyrics that I hardly grasp the meaning of the songs (for worhsip la), and this time there was that greater understanding of that song, and it was a good feeling to have. The teaching that Alvin gave was also very useful, and I will really miss the fun I've had during these caregroup meetings, as well as the times spent with James and Alvin. In all honesty, I don't think I've gotten as close to the others in the group as I would have liked, perhaps because I haven't had the time to go to many services and many of their planned outings, perhaps because I lag too much in replying messages which I have to blame my auto-signin MSN on dad's laptop for! But I'll take these learning points in my stride, and try to improve on that in my next group. =)
Speaking of which, have to thank Alvin and whoever else for helping me Syn Yeow and Evona organise a meeting with some central guys like Raphael who himself was also a fellow Rafflesian! aha.

Wed and Thur blitzed by (early days). And there's a new edition to 6N, a girl from 6M, who somehow managed to cook up reasons to switch within PCME. yeah man, now its 13-13 as far as the gender ratio is concerned.

Friday, found out how freaking unfit I was. Was able to cope with the 1:40/45 per round for about 5 rounds until I just suddenly felt so giddy and couldn't continue. Well I suppose it's been a long long time since I ran that long [soccer training?], and my body obviously isn't able to cope with such a sudden burst.

Managed to recover and went to watch BEAN with anna/ ying ling / joanna / izza / elita / xian jie/ jinkai/ jaya. Although I encountered a very annoying taxi driver which really threatened to make me lose my temper. After that sat ard. with the guys and chatted with them for awhile, they left to play bowling while I bumped into some long-lost friend, spent some time with that long-lost friend, then almost got into a sticky situation later on. Which was when Marcus entered. This was 162 that doesn't go close to NJC/ HCI. lol. Probably be able to guess how that sticky situation was brought about by my wording summore, lol, but yeah [again u can probably infer that] I'm slightly embarrassed about it to write it down explicitly. LOL.

And so this has been the week for me. Arsenal lost to a last minute sickener, and that all-too-familiar feeling sunk into me yet again, last Sunday night. Bang, there was something to be glad about though, that was getting 30pts for this IKnowTheScore game on the EPL's official website. Even better was that I also predicted Chel 3-0 Sheffield that weekend, and that in another game, Fantasy Prem. League, I scored big time with defenders frm Reading and Portsmouth in my team as both teams drew 0-0 thereby keeping a clean sheet. ok, digressing way too far.

Football. My temper. I realise tempers fray so easily. That was what got Rooney sent off during the World Cup. And that the passion runs so high that violence is not omnipresent in this Beautiful Game. Look at Italy. Many years ago, Inter Milan players went to Highbury (dear Arsenal's old home ground) and started a fight. Just a few months ago, a referee was killed during a derby match and only then did their security come under scrutiny. And even more recently, there was that bull-fight that took place in the Champions League when Inter faced Valencia, disgraceful scenes, the most ugly of which was David Navarro running from the bench and punching (and effectively breaking, really!) the nose of an Inter player. Inter was not innocent too, they started the fight. And now look, for that moment of outburst, he has been banned for 7 months, and may even be charged by local police. Disgraceful indeed. Football. Temper. Perhaps this has been a greater illustration of the potentially high level of frustration I'm capable of reaching when profligacy from their star players cost us big time in results?

2007-03-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

I'm in Malaysia now, I guess it's a sign for be to rest, after a very tiring term. Tiring, mostly because I forced it upon myself, I suppose. But then again, if i didn't, I certainly would have spent the term slacking away online, playing FIFA...etc, which I so didn't want to. Have to admit though, sometimes I just feel so disappointed with my own indiscipline, for example saying I want to sleep early on a Saturday night, and then being dragged by chatting on phone/online, and then dragged even further by premier league late 0115 kick-offs.

This last week of the term seemed to last a long time indeed. Tuesday was posting, and yes, posting is truely as unpredictable as O results. But I guess such things are part and parcel of life, that we don't always get the rub of the green, that, we don't need to get so upset and worked up over it, that, we should thank our lucky stars if we've gotten to somewhere we're satisfied with (which I think most of us are). MOE apparently does not reveal their criteria for ranking people with equal points. For one, it is definitely not by alphabet. Many people speculate that it's ranked acc. to no. of A1s, while others [many!] think it is from english grade. If they were the case, surely there would have been enough people in the history to have come up with stats. to blast the MOE for being biased against one language in this multi-racial country of ours. And thus, my best bet is that it's plain and simply random. Don't blame me, blame this wonderful probability book I just borrowed which elaborated on the usefulness of randomness, ahaha.

So knowing that it's likely a random process, there's really no reason to be down. Cause you're that much more likely to have more luck in the future. But seriously, to those who feel down about their posting and the future, the important thing is not to fret about the past and look to the future which can only get better, after all God has a plan for all of us. We will eventually all reach that goal and succeed in life, so long as we persevere and keep the faith, yeah? I'm so happy for all those people who managed to appeal successfully, in particular the 6B pple and Philip and Joanna, yeah man. Now 6B has 8 pple, and anderson, wow...16 if im not wrong. Well O2 never lived up to the highs of L'a udeamus, but I guess it was commendable [finally i use this word not in a sarcastic manner], and BB11 ended up slacking photo scavenger hunt away, although I must say it is quite a creative idea.

Part of the 'tiredness' I mentioned at the start that I heaped upon myself this term has definitely due to the many cup competitions Arsenal have been involved in, as well as cup replays, which postpone prem. league matches to weekdays...etc. And well, I guess, there'll be significantly less of them to watch in term 2 after a horrible 2weeks which can be best described by this picture which I got so fed up with after seeing this stupid advertisement online that I've decided to edit:

Oh wells. We all have to face up to questions. And those players at Arsenal certainly have to find answers as to why they can't finish off games when they are dominating, and why they can't blend that mix of superb passing football with that winning feel which the record breaking 2003-2004 team managed to do. Of course, buying a renowned striker like Torres/ Eto/ Huntelaar would do wonders. But that's never the Arsenal way. I support it, although I really do hope the youngsters can live up to their expectations cause more and more frustration is building up in me. For now, I'm going to beg my parents to let me go on the RJ econs trip to London which includes touring my home of football, the Emirates Stadium.

Tiny rashes are starting to appear again, ah. and of course the ones that haven't gone away are starting to ooze again. [not being abstract here,] I'm so afraid eczema will strike me strongly again, ahhhhhhhhh. It's so difficult not to feel frustrated. The viral cough, and then this. Frighteningly similar to Henry's spate of injuries with his foot, nerve and all...and now he's out for the season. Sigh. There really isn't any stress in me yet, or is there?

Really, I can say all those things and yet my heart ain't on the same wavelength as my eyes. It's cruel but I'm sorry.

2007-03-03T18:06:00.000+08:00

Postings are out on Tuesday, and I wish everyone the best, especially those who have partial points with regards to the expected cut-off of their desired JCs, and those who are trying to appeal to get into JCs. I'll pray hard for you all from now till Monday night. Just know that it's not the end of the world if you don't end up at where you want to be. It's God's plan for us, and furthermore it's never too late to try again. And to try harder next time round. Even so, just look at the many people who entered a JC they were reluctant to go to for PAE, and have liked it so much now that they have decided to stay.

I'm still down with cough. It's been a long time already. 3 weeks in fact. Found out that it was some kind of viral cough which is slightly more severe, so it would take much longer than usual to go away. Sigh, hope it won't compromise debates, and I really want to start going for trainings!

This week in school has been okay. Apart from screwed tests which I'm still getting used to, due to extreme carelessness on my part. Area of a circle = 4.pi.r.r [even a p6 student knows there's not supposed to be a 4], oh I got to be freaking kidding myself. aha. Really hope it won't be long before I start using the phrase 'no kick to describe tests again. [just joking of course, I know full well it won't be anymore].

On Friday, tutors were getting so tense, with A level results being released. Reason being that J1 tutors this year were J2 tutors last year. And to some teachers, they already know the results of their students, but are still anxious to see if they will be satisfied.....or.....[inevitably some will always be..] disappointed. Which reminds me, that was probably how our teachers felt for us on 9 Feb when we got back our results. They must have been feeling so worried for the few that might be disappointed. And so, I really thank them, again. I realise in Anderson Sec. students are very close with their teachers. And i think few other secondary schools can boast that.

Well, for the avid football fan that I am, this has been one hell of a depressing/frustrating week for me, due to Arsenal's lack of cutting edge. They've played brilliant football in two matches, and two times, they've lost. Last Sunday their manager fielded such a youthful team in the league cup final, with all the star players [henry, van persie, rosicky, gallas, lehmann...] except Fabregas, not even on the bench, against Chelsea, with all their riches, their expensively-assembled teams with big-money signings such as Drogba and Michael Ballack. To be honest, I expected Arsenal to get thrashed. But they weren't. They outplayed Chelsea, and played such fluent passing that I haven't seen for quite some time from the first team. And even though we lost, I was so proud of them, apart from the mass brawl at the end which was so unnecessary, and the match ended in such an unsavory manner.
Mourinho can say all he likes, but the fact is that he had a virtually unlimited supply of cash to spend, while Arsenal had saved so much money year after year in order to be able to build the magnificent Emirates Stadium, While Chelsea spent 30 million on Shevchenco, 24 on Drogba, 25 on Wright Phillips, and 24 on Essien, we've managed to get Henry for only 7, and Fabregas for less than 1. And apparently he says he ain't a sore loser, well, we'll see what he has to say come May when Manchester win the prem. league.

Okay, so much for the cup final on sunday. On wednesday night, we were out of the FA cup. A match that they dominated, missed some unbelievable sitters, and then lost 1-0 to a world-class goal 4 minutes from time. This was frustrating. This was disappointing. This was the first-team bar Henry that was playing. Boy was I upset. Who I was upset with, was referee Graham Poll. He is supposedly England's best referee. He was their representative in the 2006 World Cup, and he was the disgraced one who gave 3 yellows to the same player before sending him off. And he will be the one in charge of Liverpool v Manchester later today, arguably the biggest match due to the rich history both clubs have. Well, he waved away two blatantly obvious penalties, and how obvious were they? The commentator was continuously showing replays of it and kept repeating 'how on earth could he miss that..'. So obvious, that after that match questions are being raised yet again whether technology should be used in football. And if there was technology, Arsenal would not have lost.

Arsenal play the most fluent football in the world, and the only teams comparable to us are Barcelona, Brazil and Argentina. They make the least fouls of all teams in England, they are fouled the most in England, and yet, we have been on the receiving end of so many waved away penalties, and so many offside decisions. Sometimes it seems really hard to believe that players like Henry can sprint so far ahead of the last defender from an onside position, and hence the linesman waves the flag up right away. He lacks common sense. He lacks the knowledge that Henry is such a fast sprinter. He doesn't know how inch perfect the pass through the defence is. And that is why I am so disappointed in referees.

2007-02-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

Now that JAE is over, I suppose my previous post is irrelevant, and thus it shan't be at the top anymore. Today, Friday the 16th, is the eve-of-the-eve-of CNY. And for RJ students that meant taking a break/ breaking a record/ i.e. TAKE 5 @ CCAB.

Thought having dad so send me there would be easier, and since his new office was at the bukit timah branch, might as well, but apparently not! The whole place was so congested, with either NUS students / lecturers on their way to work or other similar parents fetching their kids to CCAB / SCGS. I was like 20mins early, opp. side of the road, by the time i reached the right side of the road, I was just on time. Phew!

Okay, so RJC broke a record of most people eating oranges at the same place / time, whatever, typical southeast asian habit of breaking awkward records [that very likely hasn't really been set]. After the record-breaking event, Talentime was taking place, but our class decided to go and practise frisbee / soccer. It was my first time wearing the new pair of street soccer shoes, and I had to get used to it. Anyway, just for the record our class ain't very sporty at all, just like....4/7. haha. So we really signed up just to 'have fun', when boo hoo we realised other classes were dead serious about winning. So, first match, I played 3mins, then slacked off and got subbed, the other class had so many sporty people, and yet they couldn't score, so it was 0-0....and we had a penalty shootout! lol, after 4 penalties each it was 1-1, and then the other class missed one. So up stepped me with my first meaningful shot using the new shoes, and whoo, i smashed it into the top corner, and we won! lol we sort of exaggerated our celebrations, but hey, we knew we were so lucky. Of course, next rd., we got pumped 2-0 by a team which managed to beat J2 classes! but hey it was a fun experience. Oh, and the frisbee guys got thrashed too. So off we went to drown off our misery at the bouncy castle, which was so lame. We had a plan , but that plan blew up big time when we all collapsed on yong jin, and cos he wasn't standing in the middle, the whole castle collapsed, and sad to say there was a little girl down there that got crushed by us. Of course she didn't die. She didn't get hurt. Much at least, haha. yeah, but it was pretty scary.

So after that Leroy and I took 165 back to ANDss to cont. playing footy, but of course, not after the few of us ran to check out pool party. Which was $%$@. Pity, that other people ard. insisted on playing despite dressing so inappropriately. As a result, wasn't that much fun with so many bodies around. Oh and I had a bad slip and now there's a bad patch on my knee.

Rushed to NEXUS for service after that, and met Anna and Ying Ling after coming out at Somerset MRT. Such a coincidence. Felt a lil' sleepy during service, but managed to stay awake for the most part of it. Then, waited with ZiJie for awhile at the MRT, and boo hoo met Anna and Ying Ling again! This time they were going into Somerset MRT. Boy, so qiao la!

Took 162 home, and I was lucky in that the 162 was the NOKIA 5300-themed bus. It's white leather seats were so comfortable, to go with the great choice of music they choose to play. Oh, and I have to say this, I saw such a sweet couple there. They were talking about professional stuff, their likes / dislikes...and they were talking in such a mature manner, they were probably 20+ I suppose, but they seem to be very bright people. And when the woman left, the guy's eyes kept tailing her, smiling along, so sincerely. I always joke about my dream date being one watching football, but hey, that wasn't that bad too. haha. Then, there was also this CJ girl who lives in the same condo as me, another coincidence to be in the same bus! She was talking to a couple of guys la, but they alighted before my stop / her stop. It then started to rain. Really heavily. I don't know why, this kind side of me suddenly prompted me, and guess what, I lent her my umbrella, and walked in the rain for the 300m or so back into my condo. to shelter. Haha. I really don't know, I mean it wasn't like she was a good-looking girl, cause if she was then I much rather would have just let her get drenched and get to see her all WET [mind you she was in school uniform]. yeah, but I'm really thankful to James for talking to me a week ago about letting others know that I'm living a blessed life with my actions, being more helpful when I can, and showing more concern, support, and understanding to others.

It was a pity I couldn't go back to Pei Chun again. I'm really sorry Cheryl, Denise and Kennedy cause I sort of said I would go back.....and......in the end I didn't. But at least I've managed to add many contacts thanks to the mass convr, lol. And hopefully I'll have time to talk to each of them and get to know them better.

To end off, Arsenal finally ended their jinx against Bolton in a crazy match in which they spectacularly missed 2 penalties but yet keep knocking on the door and eventually got the decisive goals. As a result, they will finally get to play an early kick-off on Saturday! so i no longer have to stay up till 12 MN as has been the case recently for Home matches against united and only last week against wigan. ah, thank God that the week worked out despite me sleeping extremely late for so many days!

2007-02-12T21:05:00.001+08:00

So we have all got our results, and for many, it is decision time. And yes, it ain't easy. The sacrifices one has to make when picking a choice, weighing up the pros and cons, opportunity cost as well. Distance, the friends that are going there, the friends that aren't whether you can fit it to their respective cultures. And more crucially whether you realistically have a chance of entering, and what you may incur by not putting something else as your first choice.

Some people like their current place so much, they can't bear to leave, even though they know that they can go to another place with a lower cut-off. Some people hate their current place so much, they want out no matter what. Really, the dilemma that many of us face is pivotal. It may only be 2 or 3 years, but it will most certainly be the most important 2 or 3 by far- we've grown so fast. And thus, I am so relieved that I am not facing such a tough decision, as I could imagine I would not be able to think level-head-dedly if I was in such a situation. I've spoken to many people unsure of where they should go, and I hope I have helped at least a couple in making their decisions, in weighing up their options, cause really it ain't easy. To all out there really, take time to think deep and hard about your future, and always keep faith in yourself, that God will guide you on your way. =)

On friday, before we got our results, word was it that we all did remarkably well, and I was still feeling normal. Time slowly passed as we caught up with old friends, chatting, swapping badges and.....taking pictures! (cam whores indeed, haha). I was quite calm until we walked up into the hall, and suddenly, I don't know why but I felt a lot more nervous. I thought back to 4years ago, when I was [very young and immature and dumb but still...] doing very well in my studies for exams and prelims, and I played computer games everyday, haha. The Red Alert days, they were. And, I still live to regret those days. Firstly, I messed up my PSLE, got a good score, but not good enough to get into RI, which was what my parents had expected of me. Secondly, my eyesight deteriorated at such a fast rate, and how I wish I had spent time more wisely then. And so, 4 years on, I was still watching football during the exams. I remember Arsenal suffering a bad loss on the night before HCL. That was against West Ham. I remember them beating Liverpool 3-0, that was before AM P1. Well, I guess this time round I was definitely more disciplined and mature, but sigh, my new-found love of football never fails to get the better of me, still. I prayed as we were sitting down and eagerly anticipating our results. And fortunately I didn't have too much time for my thoughts to drag me to further places. But well, just for the record, I got C5 for my HCL, after C6C5C6....so I guess it was pretty much expected. TBH, I thought the HCL exam was not that difficult, that HEY maybe I HAD a chance to get like.....A2! But I guess, this is really a reality check. My chinese has really sucked, I have put very little effort in improving it, and I'm just grateful to scrap a pass. And I'm sure many people have that similar feeling towards other subjects too. So really, I'm very mediocre too actually.

After we collected our results, many of us were delighted with our grades. Why, our cohort had so amazingly exceeded expectations and done even better than our ex-seniors! And, credit has to be given where credit is due. Many double science students have certainly worked very hard and put in their all for the O's. I remember making this comment to many people about how big the gulf has been last year, between trip. science and double science people. Yes, I know I've been very critical, and I will try to change that part of me. Back to the topic, the double science students have really bridged the [wide?] gap in the O's. And full credit to them. So many of them had less than 10pts, and now they can go to a 'top 5' JC. And I think they deserve much more praise than us trip. science students!

Many of our wonderful teachers were in attendance, and they deserve nothing but all the thanks we students have for them. In particular, I really want to thank Mrs Allison Lim for all her encouraging words in times when they were so needed, and of course it was a pity Mr Tan wasn't there so see JunJie and I......haha. I have been very offensive towards Ms Goh and Mdm Chan. And I must say, most of it was probably just to get that feel-good you get by bad-mouthing others behind their back. And that is so wrong me of me la. So I decided that I would at least have a proper conversation with Mdm Chan AND Ms Goh. And I did. And of course I'm not so courageous as to openly tell them all the bad things I've said of them and that I'm sorry, but I did wish them the best in teaching future batches, and, and, Ms Goh shook my hand sincerely to congratulate me! And I won't blow this by saying something bad about her now. HAHA. but seriously, I felt so much better.

Next, I'm trying my best not to boast here, but I am really flattered by all the thanks from people who I've helped in some way or another throughout the O levels period la. In particular Sherhan's message was really touching la, haha, thanks DEAR...and...it inspired me to create SMS-es for teachers and thanking them in a similar way...and Mrs Lim was so touched by it too. haha. A great way to spread the love and joy la. There are really a lot of people I want to thank, but I guess that'll make this post way too long. So I guess I'll stop here for the moment.

After missing so much football over the past couple of weeks I have finally managed to watch 2 wonderful games with come-from-behind scorelines. On Saturday, Newcastle beat Liverpool 2-1, and it was damn funny to see Liverpool's all-so-feared strikeforce miss absolutely ridiculous sitters. Well, there were more spectacular ones to come on Sunday. It was deja vu as I endured 80mins of pure frustration as Arsenal wasted a plethora of chances [yet again!] at the Emirates, Henry most guilty of them all. And to compound that frustration, after Wigan took a shock lead through a very good long-range shot, their 'keeper wasted SO MUCH TIME taking goal-kicks. This is all too similar to what Man Utd did a month ago, and boo hoo, they lost. So did Wigan, as justice prevailed with 2 late goals in the final 10mins, with Rosicky scoring a sweet winner 4mins from time. And what more sweeter was seeing our wonderful German keeper wasting time after that, giving them a very good taste of their own medicine, as Arsenal come back yet again and remain unbeaten at the Emirates. I love that word. Unbeaten. A delightful week indeed, now, I just hope.......

that this holy cough of mine would go away ASAP. =)

2007-02-05T16:08:00.000+08:00

Silly football stuff.

"I am very tired. Yesterday, I was booed by Thai fans in Bangkok, but I still managed to hold my nerve to pull Singapore through to win the ASEAN football championship. Then, I had to run up and down the stage 3 times during the award ceremony, first to get the golden boot, then to get the player of the tournament award, and then to receive a medal with my mates. Their organisation com. so bad, make me run up 3 times. It's so obvious I was going to win the awards, can't they just give in all in one go? Then I had to fly to London to see Man U thrash Spurs 4-0, fortunately the stadium was so empty by then so I could get out easily. I had to fly back all the way to Singapore in time for flag raising. I already sang the National anthem yesterday before winning my awards, and now I have to sing it again. zzz. I am so tired, that's why I fell asleep. Sorry, sir. "

Shit excuse by someone for falling asleep in class today.lol.

2007-02-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

So, it's been one week on [from the last entry].
And it has been a rather busy one....haven't had much sleep. sigh.

Last Saturday had a very very tough soccer training session. The warm-up was 1km more than normal, which meant it was 6km / 15rds. Then the drills were okay, although my passing went awfully astray at times, damn it la. Passing was what I prided myself on.
Then had a 30min match, on an extremely muddy pitch thanks to heavy rain the night before. Many people had already established positions, so when it came to me the coach just went 'Put him up front'. I won't forget that, and I won't remember it as a compliment either. Haha. Was so shitted, having to keep dropping back to help the midfield, and then also having to stretch my lungs to sprint upfield whenever a break was on. All in that f-ing muddy pitch. Didn't do much but pass, pass and pass, blocked a cross [painful!], and managed to get pass 1 defender and set up a powerful shot which hit the bar. Off-day la. Whatever, I was indeed feeling shitted that day. Training ended at almost 12.....and had to wash everything up, it was 1230 by then. Couldn't get to service in time, and neither did i bother to go for class outing, just spent the rest of the afternoon nursing the aches and wounds. When i went to bathe my underwear was like fully drenched. And no, it wasn't a wet dream. It was pure sweat. lol. Man it was a tiring day.

Anyway I've decided I'm dropping soccer. Perhaps it's cause it's too tiring. Perhaps it's cause I ain't good enough to be in the first XI, but I just thought I had more priorities. This opens up tues, thurs and sats, so I'll hopefully be able to sign up for other interesting ccas, and also of course more enrichment programmes and research electives. On monday they announced during chem lecture that we could start signing up for the Materials Science course, and then by the time the few of us went to the noticeboard, it was fully booked, WTH?!. haha, very fortunately i stumbled by the enrichment board again on Wed, and spotted the photonics form there. Couldn't believe my luck n signed up for it right away. Also signed my classmate and leroy up for it. Man, only on thur did they announce it during phy lecture, and sadly it's too late for most of the people interested. aha.

BACK to the chem lecture on monday. It was a crazy one. The previous [also-crazy] lecturer took an eternity to finish relatively simply parts like mol. concept and standard acid-base titrations, and as a result the relatively more difficult part of the topic, on redox titrations and half equations and stuff was just rushed through in less than an hour. Almost every typical student there was like stunned after that. And this is in RJC mind you.

Anyway, do hope I can get into debates, the last 'trial' session was on wed and i had to speak a bit on prop side for whether voluntary euthanasia should be allowed. lol.

Throughout the week I had been in a sort of 'mugger' mode, cos of the SRP aptitude test that was to take place on saturday. Mugged at the library on tues till 6, then went to watch the football match with leroy, where Hashair scored an eye-opener! Rest of the days I mugged on the internet. lol.

Well anyway the aptitude test was f-ing tough la. There was prob alot that I could have read up on with regards to chem, but the qns there were like sick la. And although MCQ has seemed like the easiest form of test to many of us [apart from T/F DUH], it was just all the more difficult when
a) many topics weren't in our scope
b) the questions on those that were IN were tough as well
c) the answer options were intelligently set to maximise difficulty
d) you lose a mark if you answer a qn wrongly
e) there were 5 options and not the usual 4. lol.

Oh I'm just ranting. So of 75qns, [25 each from PCM], i answered about 10 frm phy and chem and 20 from math. Oh well, I think my math has improved a whole lot through this week at the least.

After that headed right back to school for this HWA sports day thing. Think almost everyone in my class signed up for it but on Alicia, Yiting and I were selected. By random most likely. lol. It was quite a fun few hours there la, the wheelchair-handicapped people were like damn pro at basketball, and mind you it isn't easy to move the wheelchair on it's own, much less shoot when you're moving. haha. It was the second Saturday in a row spent outside of home not at Nexus. But I suppose that's the end of this wave.

Btw, so much so for having that record of watching consecutive Arsenal matches, I've missed 3 in a row, the 2 league cup matches against spurs and the Fa cup one against bolton. Finally managed to catch the league match, and it was yet another wasteful performance. Just hope we can get that consistency back in time for next season. I'd be quite content with the cups this season. hehe.

Time really passes so quickly. It's always the case, be it during exams when you're staring at a question you know you should be able to do yet for some reason you can't at that point of time, or when you're enjoying yourself on the phone with someone whom you haven't spoke to for a long, long time. Either way, this month has passed us all by. As much as I've enjoyed myself [and I have to a large extent], I miss many people, be it seeing them or talking to them face to face. I think of many people when I listen to those songs that are so effective in charging up that part of me. Man, it's that weird but normal feeling that everyone has occasionally that they just can't describe. There just hasn't been enough time. This must be the xxxx th time I've said that, lol. Soon, we'll get back our O lvl results and know where we are bound. All the best to all, and to our friendships!

2007-01-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

REGRETS.

[Now before you think this is about me regretting going to RJ for the first 3months, it isn't, fortunately/unfortunately].

The first 2 hours of the week started on a high, okay and this time I shan't elaborate on it, since everyone who knows about it knows what happened, and everyone who doesn't care about it doesn't need to waste time on it. Haha.

Now this post is not on a happy note.
During the week, I have done plenty of reflecting, during the [very short] bus rides to/from school, during QT [short too.....sigh], when I'm in the toilet, be it bathing, brushing teeth, and all else. In RJC, there are so many programmes on offer for us students. And so many programmes that I'm interested in joining. There's ISLE, which is some service learning programme which allows us to get exposed to the poorer countries in the region and undertake projects there. There are so many Research Electives. In particular the materials science and photonics ones appeal to me. And then, there's Science Research Programme [SRP]. I had so much time to think, yet only recently have I realised that research is the one area that I want to pursue, for the near future at least. Yes, I know it is boring to most, but hey, what's accounting and banking then?

And so, while I check up all more info. on these programmes, I start to regret. Regret that I didn't spent my time in secondary school fruitfully. That I spent so many afternoons playing computer games. That I never signed up for much CIP programmes, that I never signed up for any research attachment programmes. That I dropped Japanese when so many people out there desperately want to learn it. That I didn't take French. That I never took the time to think hard about my future, only until I wanted to get a scholarship for a university. Now it is so difficult to sign up for research electives as so many people are interested in them. And then, SRP, is tough indeed. Apparently they are only selecting 120 students for RMMs, after which only 80 odd will be able to do the proper SRP thing [from the whole Singapore btw]. And boy would experience in research help here. Oh well, next week 'll just have to try my luck at the aptitude test.

And then there's soccer. Trainings are like 3x3hrs a week. I don't know if I can handle it.
I guess I'll fruitfully spend the next few days prioritising and thinking about my future.
At least now, there's God to guide the way.
That, is another regret. Not knowing him sooner.
So please, heed this message and let Him guide your way too!

I want to thank everyone who has spent time to talk to me about my predicament, [if it even is one, really],be it in school, on the phone or on MSN, which I have been spending too much of my time on. You've all helped me lots, my dear friends. Thank God for you guys.

I'm not sad, really. Just regretful. The week in RJC has been great. The tutorials, the lectures, hell, even sex ed. was fun. And STJ [seniors-treat-juniors] on Friday was very successful indeed, got to know alot of people from 07S06N, [my class is 08 btw], and the pizza was great. I'm definitely looking forward to more of em'!

And then, meeting the 2/4 peeps once again was great as well. Although we didn't get to talk much much [yes 2 words intended], it's still good that we are 'sticking in touch'. [sticking together + keeping in tough]. And I sure hope that Philip will come to RJC!

Haha, I don't know why but this entry is something like a Jose Mourinho interview - frank and honest, but always finding positives. Oh well, I'll end the entry by giving a big shout to all you man u fans out there [just can't resist it], that ARSENAL DID THE DOUBLE ON YOU GUYS THIS SEASON, and that they are still UNBEATEN AT THE EMIRATES STADIUM, all thanks to van Persie's and Henry's late goals which turned defeat into victory!! and mind you, doesn't Rooney's goal celebration [which looked as if he had won Mr Universe] look oh so stupid now? lol.

heh. and now for some much needed rest before training tomorrow.

2007-01-19T23:51:00.000+08:00

Full timetable has kicked in this week.
And surprisingly, mine isn't bad at all.
1510 on Mon and Fri, and best of all 1230 on Thur. wow.
And there are friends who end at 1730....gosh, my heart goes out to you guys.

Hmmm, guess science students are all very happy as most of their lectures are in LT 1, i.e. center court. i.e. slacker LT. Only my physics is in LT2 which is the neither big nor small one and econs is in 5 which is very small, sigh.
And classrooms are weird indeed. The air cons can't be switched off. And the 23 deg. is equivalent to airport / library kind of air con. zzz. Well, at least I'm thankful that classrms are all on lvl 4 which LT1 can be entered from.

Teachers are all wonderful man. My chem teacher is soooo much better than the previous one. And apart from maths they're all friendly and approachable. that's good.

The class is good too! Fairly even gender ratio, the boys are great. girls are fab. as well. aha.
Have been feeling sleepy whenever I attend lectures after 11....man, guess my body needs time to adjust to changes.

Today's CHEM lecture was interesting indeed. Mr Lee totally reached boiling point and it was scary man. With THAT look of his and his continually blinking eyes. Either way, it sure woke me up. Before that GP was fun too, "George Bush is in deep shit". and "Western culture corrupting our Confucius values".
Okay, better be careful blogging from now too esp. when Rafflesians have such a reputation in blogging. [dawn yang? wee shu min? ].

GP turned out to be better than than standard english lessons.
Oh well, it's been a tiring week, but the weekend is one to savor. Gonna celebrate my sis's birthday, and i got her a pair of 'furry' slippers for wearing at home, lol. Congrats man, she's going the opposite way of me. And that's good for the family.

Then of course, there's the football! It's grand slam weekend the sequel, with Liverpool v Chelsea on saturday and then on sunday its Arsenal v Man United, the battle of the two teams in the EPL who play sexy football. And, I won't be pissed if Arsenal lose their first match at the Emirates to some skillful play by roon/ ronaldo, just as long as it isn't a dive again.

Okay, I'll keep it relatively short.
Lately quite a few people have been having personal problems, be it having to make a choice, finding it hard to fit in or lacking self-confidence. Know it sounds so general, and it's not just you I'm talking about, it's also you, you, you, you, and you. You could be any one of the 'you's, or anyone else. <---------zzz
Well, if only you all have the lyrics to our class of 2008 batch song You're Not Alone, then I'm sure it would help.
Most importantly, remember that we're not alone, that there's always someone walking with us, someone guiding us, be it in the form of some extremely sociable person, someone who calls you once in awhile, someone who initiates IM conversations, OR, that feeling inside you that prompts you on what to do next.

The last 3 lines of the Raffles anthem,
With one voice let us Pray,
Auspicium Melioris Aevi,
With God to guide the way.
Is meaningful indeed.

2007-01-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's been yet another pretty crazy week, but I guess it's all downhill from here on, with full timetable starting next week. Surprisingly my latest day ends at 1510 hrs, which I think is not that compared to other JCs. MAYBE it's because RJ has more efficient timetable planners. =p

Oh well, lets see. Monday was the end of orientation, o nite.
Tues-wed-thur-fri had lectures only, so had plenty of free slots in between.
Oh yeah and friday had BB house party, and we, or the 8 or 9 of us at least, decided to crash HCI's o nite.

What sucked was the unrelenting rain. Which meant that we would be wet on the way. Stupid 157 either broke down or what, refused to come for like half an hour, so we settled on 156 which took a longer route. Either way, arrived slightly after 8, remarkably managed to get past security at the entrance, perhaps it was cos Sherry had a hwa chong shirt to deceive whoever it was.
But anyway, there's this interesting fact about sound systems. Apparently, HCI's is too soft, while NJ's is too loud. RJ? Course it has problems too, in fact its too much echo.
So, after successfully getting into HCI's campus, many of the students were like starring at us like for a couple of extra seconds, but we creatively invented some funny hwa chong cheers, and the Mao Zedong version of RJ's anthem. There were like so many chinese songs to sing, but we just followed along to the best that we could, and the fun part was joining the 'trains' and running through the whole hall, which, had no air con. And forget Buckle Buckley, we were cheering for our green 'counterparts' ATHENA! lol.

Was able to meet Weelic, Sher, weiting and meijun there. Also, amazingly, met Wan Qian Ling, the long-lost ***** who pinched me 347562345 times during the 5B/6B days at Pei Chun, and who kept arguing with a certain Fei Peng. lol.

After that walked 2km or so in the rain to Civics Plaza, with that same high feeling. Ended up reaching home at 12 that day.
This morning went to cca open house, and apart from the many classmates there, met teachers too. Junjie, Lin Hai and I were 'lucky' enough to witness probably the last 'Wrath of Chan' moment we'll see. Of course we had a short chat, while also chatted with Mrs Lim and Mr yong. oh, most certainly not patricia. Had to rush to service in a cab after that but thank God we made it on time, and I thoroughly enjoyed the songs albeit feeling a lil sleepy during the sermon. Man, should I resort to coffee again?

Lastly, there's this quote to describe some special moments in life where you're simply feeling so high. It's called 'better than SEX'. yes.
And in the past week, I've had this feeling twice.

Firstly, when Arsenal totally thumped Liverpool at their backyard for the 2nd time in 4days, with the youngsters, without Henry.

And of course, the finale to O' nite! In fact, can even see part of the school motto in the background on closer inspection. Okay, I know Hwa Chong had their own version called 'turbo-charged', but heck, that high feeling that night in the open air was simply stunning. So much so, it HAS to be better than sex.
DEFINITELY.

2007-01-06T11:11:00.000+08:00

As I miss yet another service, I felt that sense of guilt within me.
That I haven't been growing much in my faith towards Him. In the past few days, where I've been exhausted after orientation, I haven't spent much time with Him, as I usually do, as I would have liked to. However, I have this testimony to further swing the battle within me that God is indeed real.

Tuesday night, I prayed that I would have a good night's sleep. Why? It's because there was Arsenal v Charlton live at 4am, and one of my new year's resolution was to lose that 'must-watch-every-match' attitude that I have regarding Arsenal's matches. Mind you, the last live EPL match I've missed was on the 26th of Nov 2005, against Blackburn, because I was at New Zealand. hahaha. Watching every live match has been exciting, but it has also most certainly made me tired. I decided that if it was a big champions league clash, of course I would watch it, but if it was just an ordinary midweek night match, then I'll just miss it. That match was one of them. It's hard to believe, but the last time i tried to miss a 4am live match, I couldn't. That was away to Juve earlier this year, where I was 90% sure we would progress to the next rd. since we'd already won the first leg 2-0. I did not set any alarm, but still woke up at 330 AM. Couldn't fall back asleep for a long time, and had 'no choice' but to watch a dull goaless draw. Of course I was still delighted that we were through to the next round en route to the Paris final. So you see, I'm indeed a slave of football. I hence prayed that I could sleep soundly and miss a live match so I would have more energy for the first day at RJC. And surprise surprise! I was able to resist going to premierleague.com to check the result in the morning, was able to watch the replay at night without knowing the score. And the experience was as good as the watching it live. Arsenal won 4-0 and AT LONG, LONG LAST king Henry is back fit and fresh, he is at his very very best, and we totally blown them away. It would have been 10-0 if not for their 'keeper in fact. Okay enough of the digressing. We'll probably still lose to Liverpool tonight.

But when I said 'God is good. Thank you for giving me this one rare night of peaceful sleep.' after waking up on Wednesday morning. I just knew things would pan out all fine for me, the orientation and all else. And if you the reader didn't know it was me who said that, you probably would think that such a statement was by a very sick person or someone on his/her deathbed. For me, this is a moment of realization I'd never forget.

2007-01-06T00:53:00.000+08:00

L' A U D E A M U S@RJC

It's been 3 days of orientation at RJC, and it's been so much fun, rather surprisingly I have to add! Met JJ, Leroy and Lin Hai on Wed morning, and man we felt like we were living in a world of strangers [nothing against Giordano], with all the RI and RGS students roaming around. Btw, the bus ride took no more than 10mins, waiting time is max. 10mins, so it's so convenient for me. Lucky me.

Lucky too, that I got such a good house! Found out that I was in Buckle Buckley house, which is very green-ish. Would have liked the purple and black of HH, but hey, it's lucky to be in the house of the defending champions!

Lucky too, I got such a fantastic OG! As well as name, lol. I was in S''pero [read Es-pero], which although sounded weird, was def. much better than some other grps, such as L'maorofl and L'alang [yucks!], lol. The RI guys, Chester, Mark and the rest were very friendly and spastic, and the girls weren't that bad either. Ours were definitely one of the most enthusiastic OGs.

That was in part, to the wonderful OGLs as well, with Kal and Vania.

So, first day we had territorial games, which we did quite okay I thought, either way we enjoyed ourselves very much, even though I did not bring my shorts. Went for dinner at the food court...reached home pretty early.

Second day, we had mass dance which was great, lol. Also learnt cheers, the batch song, and the college anthem which sounded majestic. Our OGLs were so good [or rich] as to be able to buy us pizza for lunch. We tried planning for O'nite although it was pretty unproductive. Afternoon was station games, and we totally owned. Some games were damn fun, esp. the one having to interlock hands and then use a shoe tied in betw. to kick the freakin' small ball. As the day moved on, we became more and more active, and that winning feeling was really great. We won 4 games and drew 2, hence the lovely word, unbeaten. Sadly, whether it was some injustice or what, BB only managed top 5. [5 houses in all, so it's kinda obvious...]. haha. Went to Yoshi for dinner and crapped for a long long time after that.

Third day had outdoor, or rather out-of-college activities. We were lucky again. Other Ogs had to go to Chinatown, Little India, Holland V, and we were one of the lucky ones who only had to go to yishun. The food stations were interesting, and of course disgusting, esp. the flour ones. We had all but given up hope of reaching back first when we decided to take a bubble-tea break, but heck, at least we contributed points. And BB won for Friday, at last! Was like so on time with the party.

Well, I certainly had fun during these days of orientation, and I'm sure the criticism of Rafflesians only apply to a minority.
One more thing to add.
On thursday, I saw a bit of soccer training, and they continued training in spite of the rain!
And there was this guy that slid across the grass. Now, doing that [sliding across the grass] has been something I've always wanted to do, after Henry did it against Inter Milan I think. yeah. Hopefully if trainings aren't too tough, I might join soccer. After all, gotta improve my strength and stamina so I can be a better midfielder kind of player.

Went back to AND for campfire night, where the rain doused the flames, sadly. But anyway was nice to meet ex-classmates. Every time we part, we bid our farewells, but then we would seemingly meet pretty soon again. Well, just hope that we'll all treasure all the times we have together, as come March, things may become very different indeed.

[edited to make searching via google difficult to find this site]

2006-12-26T16:55:00.000+08:00

2006, THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT IS, AND WILL BE 'WAS', SOON.

Well, it's been a big year for many of us.

Firstly, it's the last year of 'school', not schooling of course, but school. JC for most, Poly, or even ITE for some.
Well, there's going to be even more to study, and hopefully more fun in store.
RJC for me is the place that I've wanted to go all along, and I really hope I can get in there for real.
Yes, it is going to be stressful. Many people I've spoken to have criticised RJC, saying that the attitude of students are pathetic, being arrogant and all, or that HC is better.
I can't deny that. Through the years there have been plenty of students in RJC with overextravagant personalities.
Only recently in October there was Wee Shu Min and her elitist views.
But hey! There was Annabel Chong that 'deflected' from RGS to Hwa Chong JC and certainly she caused more headlines! Haha. Controversy is not just at Raffles. Really.
Wikipedia has plenty of info. on those two I'm sure.
Whatever it is that all the criticism of RJC is about, I guess I'll find out for myself how true indeed they are, with Leroy, Jun Jie and Lin Hai. Oh and very likely, someone's daughter.

Anyway, it's been a great 4 years in ANDERSON, and although I directed plenty of flak towards the 'lax' and 'semi-corrupted' nature of the school, and a certain class in particular which robbed our black soccer ball, the friends I've made have been great, be it those in 2/4 or 4/7. The 2/4 days were so fun, and laughter was never far away thanks to lame people like Arkar and Kang. Also in part, thanks to the people in class which we could make fun of. A tit bit offensive of me? I just can't resist.
Towards the end of sec 2 and for half a year in sec 3, perhaps I was too study-orientated, and yes I was kind of lonely at times.I was starting to think sec3 (and what would be sec 4) life was stressful, especially with me still having to take Japanese, which was now becoming a burden as I slowly lost interest in it. Man, I knew I should have took French. I also did not really like the class (3/7) then. That sort of changed during term 3, where I sat next to Jun Jie, and got to talk more in class with the rest of our 'clique' or so to speak, Sherhan Cybil Linhai and of course Weelic, haha.They certainly made my upper sec. life all the less boring. Before knowing them, I thought I was hardworking. Enter Sherhan, and I'm content. Haha.
The thing with 4/7 that makes us special is that although there are cliques, we can easily joke around with other people. Haha, and there was this deal I made with someone at the start of the year that I would act like the secret admirer of someone in class for the year. lol. There's plenty to guess on this blog.
Anyway, Junjie and I were able to sit right in front, and so we could talk with many of the teachers.Most of which, were good. Mrs Theresa Lim demonstrated how different a teacher canimpact her students' grades. Either that, or the fact that we had most of our lessons in air con. lol. Just take a look at 4/6's results for geog. Mr Tan changed so much over the course of a year, and I'm sure he'll enjoy his retirement. However, there are unpleasant teachers too. There's the one that blows hot and cold. One moment having an outburst, what i term the Wrath of C***, and making us all hate her. Next moment, she makes/buys some food and makes some think otherwise, untill the Wrath cooldown has ended and it's time for another one, lol. Then, there is the one who can't see the funny side of April Fool's Day, always thinks her papers are difficult, tries to appear very good friends with another teacher who's married and older, yet looks more attractive and younger. Oh, I feel nothing but pity for them.
About the whole school, I feel pity too. It certainly looks as if it's on the decline. Hell, even my sister didn't want to go there, lol. And I feel the reason for the decline is obvious, due to the presence of more normal (It's not even mediocre, true meaning = relegated) classes, with people who like to steal footballs from us brighter students and use their attitude to intimidate us. Sigh. Thank goodness that that's the last I'll see of them for life. Oh wait, I'll meet them again in a couple of years thanks to this government policy, or will I ? lol.
Although that's a goodbye to be happy about, another to be even happier about, for me that is, is the Chinese language (the words, chengyu, the stories behind them, and last but not least the teachers, I mean teacher. ).

In 2006, I was suprisingly able to get rid of that sleepy syndrome I have during lessons, perhaps due to sitting with Jonathan for half a year during sec 1. Perhaps being near to the teacher's table helped. Well, the truth is: Thank God.

It's been such a busy year that I haven't had much time to catch many movies. But honestly, the movies this year have mostly sucked. It's what I call the year of the movies with hugely similar plot. Think Madagascar and The Wild? yeah, and their (the directors') creativeness is so limited that the substitute for the penguins in the former is just a Koala Bear in the latter. However, MI 3 is OK, and I certainly recomend this movie called Akeelah and the Bee. It's inspirational, and the mere fact that I support it shows that I dont discriminate against other colours. lol, if u can get my drift. Very recently Jay is acting in another movie, and at least he's now not the high-profile member of the cast, cause that goes to Gong Li and her ****s. Well on my way to being a critic eh?

For one, I've started watching Grey's Anatomy and couldn't stop watching it after (watching it). As with Desperate Housewives, it's a drama thats ENGLISH and from women's point of view. Haha. It portrays sex as a 'common' thing, and yes, that's what I love about Western culture. The openess. Now don't go thinking how sick I am, cause I probably am (that sick). Hmmm, I don't quite know why my sentence structure is always so repetitive.

2006 has also been the year I started becoming really hardcore about football. About Arsenal.
Going all the way to the Champions League Final in Paris and then losing it all, well I guess there needs to be no further mention of the emotions of an avid football fan after my previous entry.

Lastly, I certainly hope this has been a breakthrough year for me in getting to know Him better. It's been difficult. My parents are buddist, and I have no problems with that, their temperament has improved, mine hasn't. Next, I've always had the occasional doubt, being so intellect and stuff, (you doubt that?), and sometimes wasn't in the right frame of mind. After reading the Case for Faith, some of them have been clarified, and thank you James, for buying me that book, and thank you God, for making him rich. I mean generous. lol. I guess some questions are best left unanswered, but the last part of the book sure helped alot in my spiritual life. Hopefully, I can build on that in the future.

For now, it's the season to be jolly. Merry CHRISTmas, and I look forward to Boxing Day Bonanza tonight.

2006-12-17T00:51:00.000+08:00

Man, football can really spoil my weekend.
I gone through the lows and highs and lows in just one match against Portsmouth [what *&^*% team is this, you ask].

Ok, Arsenal played horribly in the first half, creating NOTHING. Portsmouth played as horribly. It was boring. As always, when this happens at the Emirates Stadium, it is the away team that scores first. Fluke goal, but crap, pissed me off.

Then 2nd half, started on the same manner, and conceded another goal, this time I have to admit, its a genuine one. ok, 0-2 now.

Brought on our target man, and he had an immediate impact, 2 goals in 2 mins. Amazing.
So it became 2-2.
After that, deja vu for the 4th time [this is the 5th match in which this has happened]. Lots of chances, only sunday football-style finishing, and yet again, it's a case of what could have been. Last season it was away defeats, this season it's away defeats AND home draws.

Alas, I keep asking myself. Why? Why did the team have to wait till going 2 goals down to get so fired up? Why did we have to encounter such a good goalkeeper?
I was so fed up after miss and miss, i started shouting wildly, [haha imagine that, but seriously...], I was really mad for a moment.

At half time, I prayed to God, saying that I know it's going to be a frustrating game, please don't make me go mad. Please allow me to stay calm. Well, I guess it just wasn't to be.
This is probably a pathetic testimony.
Life is frustrating. But the best thing to do, is to keep the faith, and not give in, and only then will I be able to curb my blowing-hot-and-cold temper.
There is still a lot to be changed.
Slowly, but surely.....

2006-12-14T04:26:00.000+08:00

Okay, so its been a long long time since I've blog.
Suprisingly, the days have gone by so quickly, only a couple of weeks left before the New Year. Plenty of events....grad. ball, 4/7 chalet, 2/4 chalet, church camp.....yeh. It's left me way exhausted (at least for today).

Start with the 3D2N of chalet and church camp "combined", since i could not sign up for full time [need parent's consent], and also in part since i paid the deposit for the chalet already [perfect justification for the use of 'deposits']

So the chalet was at Coasta Sands resort this time, much nearer to downtown east compared to Aloha Loyang. Anyway, only went for first day, and it was a case of deja vu. We all [and not was actually not many] rented double bikes for 2hrs and it rained about 10mins later. I was cycling with James Lee, and credit to him, it was so difficult to cycle in the rain with the water and wind catching u right in the eye, but he was able to navigate pretty well. We cycled fast, slow as well, and made so many 360-deg turns which didn't work out and ended up having to take a long loop round the grass. Fortunately we were lucky not to crash after running over many branches and roots. It was cold indeed with us all wet and the wind. After that the girls took a LONG time to bathe [and it was only liike...6 of them?] and we went out for dinner. Then watched this 'girls aloud' show which had xiaxue in it, was totally stupid and NOT useful at all, haha. After that was talking and playing cards all night long, and most of the morning too. Woke at 7, headed off at 8. Very sleepy, and had to get my dose of coffee to keep alive for the rest of the day.

And so I took the mrt all the way from PR to Woodlands, changing at City Hall. The NS line going away from the city was not crowded one bit, and thus i had plenty of space to sleep, which i duly managed to, haha.

The camp at Sports School was great. The auditorium was gigantic and a very good place for all the sermons and praise/worship sessions to be held, although sitting down on the ground was a lil uncomfortable, not that i'm complaining here. Think the first sermon session right after I came was the most enlightening, about not giving in to obstacles between us and Him, and persevering on. Pity that part-timers don't get the Breakthrough shoe bag package, but I'm gonna borrow one copy of the book ASAP. Felt a little sleepy, but that was cured by the salt and vinegar chips, haha. Then after lunch which was OK, had a meeting regarding JC ministry. it's gonna be exciting I'm sure, our next 2 years at JC. But yeah, rightfully said, gotta do our best even during the first 1.5 month or so. Zero JC2s at R now, so, it will be difficult but I guess I've got to give my best next year.

Then after wash-up and rest, it was time for mismatch picnic which I didn't know of, oh well, guess at least I needn't have worried about how i looked, haha. The dinner was good, and the performances and thanks later were better, though it was kind of unusual that it wasn't the 'finale item' of the camp, with sermon still to come later! And it was another long one by David, mostly composing of testimonies. Well, guess it's a refreshing change from the usual sermons at services, yeah, although I was getting kind of sleepy.

The midnight concert was great, and really repented some of my sins recently during worship time, as well as strengthening my resolve towards Him. The songs were all good, and I enjoyed the praise part too with high spirits!

On wednesday, rather amazingly Northeast managed to win the olympics and that big trophy, lol. [heard from quite a few people that NE are pushovers and James even said many other districts wanted to thrash us at some sports, in good spirit of course, haha]. Well, it wasn't particularly 'us', cause I wasn't able to take part in it, but hopefully there'll be a next time to take part, and there'll be a next time to win again.

Well, I'll pause here for now, hopefully there'll be more promising stuff to write about after street outreaching tmr.

2006-11-19T00:26:00.000+08:00

On top of the below-written, I'd like to thank:
-Best Western, Hilton, and Mandarin hotels,
for their supply of ball-point pens which I used for all my examinations.
[soon there'll be pen sponsors for the best students]
-Coldplay, for
(1) naming your album X and Y, cos I believe thats the correct answer for a Chem paper1 qn on oxidation which I wasn't quite sure about.
(2) the songs in that album, esp. Fix you and swallowed in the sea, i listen to them every night, and they are part of my inspiration.
-UEFA, for breaking the standard schedule of champions league every 2 weeks to 3, so it [coincidentally?] doesn't clash with any exam.
-SHE who kept saying coastal was "easy" and "worth studying"
-Myself for knowing that i shouldn't heed her advice.
-The CE for allowing us at least 5mins to plan out essay structures for SS and history, before the exam even started since we could check the paper.

And please, feel [very] sorry for
-students who banked on coastal.
-Britney Spears, for marrying K-Fed and recording a *** tape and ALLOWING him to have possession of it.
-Old people on wheelchairs, who apparently like sweets a whole lot, so much so that the candyland in vivocity incident is absolutely blown out of proportions.
-Chelsea fans, who have the best team on the planet, yet, are so unprofessional.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's over.
At last.
At long, long last.
This week turned out great. Thank God for that.
It started at 12am on Monday,
Flamini, Toure and Gallas saw off sorry liverpool to seal a 3-0 win at the Emirates.
Oh, and to rub more salt, Gerrard and Riise coming into conflict, ahaha.

Then Tuesday, sigh AM. I don't quite understand why my paper 1 is always so shitty. It was 57 for preps, 50 for prelims, k la, and its careless mistakes again. Lost 6m on the matrix qn, lol. heck.

Then Wed, was physics. This was the one science i was absolutely confident about, and i didn't study it at all the night before, purely chemistry. And physics turned out ok. Geog was relatively difficult compared to our previous papers I think. But its only paper 1.

Thurs, AM p2 i was so focused, i x2-checked every qn i done, as a result only 15mins + left after finishing the whole thing. Too close for comfort, but it paid off. This should be a full mark paper to overcome any hint of shortcoming from paper 1. Then Chemistry, from a objective point of view was kinda difficult, yeah. But I am pretty sure, I ll do patricia so proud, lol.

Friday, gosh gosh. History was an absolute shocker. The essays qns were ridiculous, esp the cold war qn, goodness! And SBQ was weird too, only 3 sources, 4qns. o.O
Ai, I just said to myself 'do your best...and........' yeah, haha. Think I did as good as i could. At least the test didn't seem to end on a sour note as I had so feared. I was happy. Everyone was pretty happy. Man, finally, FIFA 07? Battle for middle earth? hahaha.

Of course, cant wait to kick soccer with the guys on monday. Ive been practising hard on step-overs [cristiano ronaldo-inspired], and I think I ll showcase them, hahaha.

Of course, finally able to thank Him for all he has done in me, not just through the Os, but throughout the year. I have certainly changed alot, and I think I ll save that for another entry this year. I must say I am a very fortunate person, not to experience much stress throughout the Os, prelims, what have you. Even so, I've faced other problems, and He has guided me through them, indeed one of them has to be the fact that my sleeping-in-class symdrome has totally went away this year, even though i CONTINUE to watch super sunday matches, as well as champions league matches, and even when i spend long hours on MSN on many occasions.

yeah, I ll spend some time to reflect of this year. For now, its another frustrating game at the Emirates. Points thrown away yet again.
Goodness, how can Thierry Henry be rested??!

2006-11-10T21:05:00.000+08:00

Well a week down, one more to go.
Big exams are over, big ones still to come [they're all big la]
At least for me, the biggest one of em all, is done and dusted.
And here's something interesting.

I studied deforestation and part of geog, being part of natural veg and probs caused by development. And, the MAIN reason i studied that was cause bio also has a portion on it.
Well, neither paper had any qn on deforestation, sigh.
And to think, that I unleashed it in part, combined with the haze situation in SEA, on my english essay, my most important paper.

Oh well. Monday, I [and almost everyone] got off to a flyer.
EM went with the trend -- no kick whatsoever. It has to be full marks.
SS was more tricky, but thankfully, fate has it that it is our batch that get's theme ONE.
Close shave, but SS should be ok. NOW i will focus on history with more intent.

Then Thursday was the content-intensive day.
Bio was quite cool, the OAS has our name on it! lol.
Another reason why it is 458.00 and not a dollar or two less.
Oh well, I did my best, no careless mistakes, that's the best i could ask for.
Geog. in the afternoon went great. I rushed from the start, and seriously rushed this time.
3 and 6 were popped; time elapsed: 48mins.
Took awhile to DECIDE whether to do 2 human [which would mean 3 in total], or the weirdo weathering one. So i did settlements first, then hmmm, really dilemma.
Weathering was ok, xcept for 1st qn. On the other hand, development looked straightforward too. Then, a flash rang through me that I should stick to my guns. So weathering it was.
Coastal, ironically turned out to be the tough qn; understandably so, apparently something not in the syllabus came out. well, TOUGH LUCK TO ALL VICTIMS.
I am just so relieved I had resisted studying coastal since last year, despite the numerous people who have said it was 'easy' or 'easier than ----'.

Friday was totally a waste of time. Why 2pm?! And not the usual 8 start time. Oh well, didnt matter, it was no different from paper one. And to think the only 'tricky' qn that existed, the number pattern qn, only warranted 3marks of challenging qns. BOOO!

Oh well, one more week to go. History is continuously bugging me.
I can't possibly 'waste' the luck that SS gave me.

Anyway, I ll chill off Sunday night to watch the big one Arsenal v Liverpool,
at the Emirates Stadium. The first 'big' match played at that new ground.
Lets make it the fortress that Highbury so was.
The image of Steven Gerrard, of all people, making a backpass mistake of monumental proportions by playing it straight to Thierry Henry in a 1v1 with their goalie, and gifting us the match this march, is still finely etched in my head. Hopefully such incidences will continue at the Emirates. =)

2006-11-01T11:19:00.000+08:00

[skip the italics if football bores you to the doldrums, which im sure it does for many]
Very often in life, people are made to swallow their words, and it proved to be the case during the weekend.

Aha just when I thought Arsenal were clicking into gear they came unstuck against yet another team who just park the bus in front of the goal and do nothing but defend, and everything assosiated with that [time-wasting, bad tackles...]. but what can i say? It's something the players have got to learn to deal with, and they just can't seem to scrap results like Chelsea do so well. And on the 'sexy football' theme, Liverpool finally played some beautiful stuff indeed, and hats off to them. Man Utd too, admittedly.

Oh well that's the football bulletin, haha. HCL O's and chem prac are done and dusted.
And I was worried about HCL, indeed. It was like the first year of the new syllabus [thankfully no han zi or zao ju], and fortunately it was a shadow of AND, Cres, RGS, and many other school's papers which scared the life outta me. Paper1 i did the argumentative on 'Whether parents are solely responsible for instilling the RIGHT moral values into children' haha, I'm never gna speak much chi frm now on, or pple like Meijun will keep saying I sound funny. Hey, i got distinction for chi oral last yr ok! ha!

And at last, Chinese is done. It is. I like the funny chengyus and idioms that relate to animals and objects. For example, it IS too late to fill the holes in a ship when it is halfway out at sea, but apparently there IS time for a horse to turn back when reaching the mountain cliff, haha. Mdm Chan has been a good teacher la, to be fair, she really deserves to be in some better place than our school. But looking back at this language, probably the only thing that's nice about it Jolin's voice.

Then Tues chem prac. was the easiest of the sciences. For prelims, i think i spent too much time on titration. So this time, I tried, and tried, to keep pace with candidate 0291, [and this is testament to her effiency, lol], and I was not far behind la, which was good indeed. I did it 3 times, first time 22.0, overshot la, then i started 2cc earlier than that and managed to get 20.2 quite fast, twice in a row. you know, the real comfort came when candidate 0291 also got 20.2, and when other pple like kum boon also got that, rather than when patricia announced it [proudly?] to the class. I mean, I SERIOUSLY have reservations about her as an upper sec teacher, much less one in charge of 4/7 which is the b**t class in the level. Then QA it seemed to be test after test after test, but managed to di it in time la. yeah. I even left a litmus paper in each of the 6 bench reagents to ensure that no one would screw them up, lol. towards the end, while i was wiping my test tube, suddenly about 5-7 drops of KMnO4 just came 'splat' onto my paper. And because they were fine drops, they looked pretty red, like those drops of blood you see in horror shows/ anime fighting scenes. it shocked me. Then i saw KB was cleaning her burette in front. Well I have this to say of the bottom end of the burette, "boy can it spurt uncontrollably" =p

So apparently [and i don't trust it], R was NaBr, S was NaI, and T was Na2S2O3, the compound that me, weihong and sherhan have been arguing about the proper way to pronounce it, i.e. Sodium Thiosulphate, haha.

Oh well, it signalled the end of practicals, and the last time in chem lab. Chem lab has been such a memorable place. The irritating smells of ammonia and chlorine, and the cool effects such as decolourising and litmus paper changing colours, yeah I ll remember them, as well as all the dirtied worksheets [thankfully not clothes], and also the fact that people do get hurt there, like when sherhan got her hand scalded and had to put sulphur all over it, and a whole bunch of people got "acid-burnt" when one time we had to handle conc. acids. It begs the question, why put chem labs at lvl 1 when it is [obviously] the most dangerous? Ah, after the paper ended, I just took my mind cleaning the various apparatus man. I mean, we'll probably see all those same things and much more next year, but it sure is something cool.

From a school's point of view, they must be delighted. They now have a shitload of litmus papers, filter papers, and splints to last them a couple of yrs.

Oh well, its a crunch week, having to try to make sure enough of everything stays in your head and doesn't leach away. Pray to God that it'll keep on raining!
That's my impetus for studying in the afternn.

2006-10-28T10:34:00.000+08:00

It truly is such a boring weekend.
Stuck on a Saturday morning, can't go to Nexus, and having to read chinese model essays. It's all too late now isn't it.

Well, Monday will be my most difficult test. It IS make-or-break.

I don't know, perhaps the rain during the last few days have been a reprieve for me. It has made me able to study in the afternoon, however weird that might sound.

And it's so refreshing to see the view from my window. It's as if its in High Definition, comparative with the recent hazy days. Appreciate nature.

Been a weird o' week. It's when you see things like blood trickling down the sink [or however you describe it, and don't ask where the blood came from], that makes you reflect.

There ain't long to go. Ain't long to go till all this starts again.
I'm not depressed, neither am I stressed. Just, confounded.

And damn, ESPNSTAR isn't showing Arsenal v Everton tonight because of priority towards United and Liverpool. Hey, who's everyone saying is playing sexy football?
The way things are, I bet Liverpool fans would much rather watch Arsenal unleash their attacking game. It's less stressful as well. Back to the phrase I love to use - double standards. And i cannot, for the life of me, figure out why this is still so apparent.

Oh well, I ll just take it as a blessing in disguise and get back to work.

Hopefully, this is the last time I'm scraping for a subject I feel I'm absolutely powerless in wanting to improve.

2006-10-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

Well for me it has been a tumultuous week indeed.
I ll start way back.
Last Saturday. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling freaking down and sick. The previous day, I had this weird feeling in my throat whenever anything liquid ran over it. And this feeling was confirmed by Saturday. I had quite a fever, about 39.5 deg, and i had to lie in bed till 11am. Couldn't eat anything. Just drank the same old bland nutrient that is water. Then i tried eating porridge. Couldn't get 5 spoonfuls in before having the vommiting feeling. Shit it. Went back to bed till dinner. And it picked up at night. Wasn't feeling so giddy, and i ate fruits. The headache wasn't that bad, so i managed to catch the 10pm match, that was Arsenal away to Charlton. Conceded an early goal thanks [or no thanks] to sloppy defending and ball watching, and i thought, another frustrating away game. Thankfully, this is a changed team. They managed to beat Man U at Old Trafford, and they managed to come back thanks to 2 stunning goals from van Persie. Better news yet, Chelsea drew at home!

Ok, then to Monday, where i was still bothered by the fever. I was as good as a sitting duck during bio prac. What to do. But over the weekend, I sort of had mixed feelings. Of course, it sucks to be sick, but on the other hand, I also felt kind of lucky that this didn't take place during the preliminary examinations, and of course, not during the real deal.

The week seemed to sweep by. Every passing day we anticipated results. But as ANDERSON never fails to disappoint, it was delayed till Thursday. So Thursday was indeed set up as THE DAY.

On Wednesday night, I took some time during QT to reflect on the prelims [fine I'm lazy to keep continuing the proper english....], all the doubts, and whether i was over-confident for some subjects. Ok I ll admit it. I think if u sit anywhere near me, you ll know that I said many times that chem and EM were confirmed A1s. If u didn't read my past entry [shame on you!], i ll repeat. I doubted physics and bio for A1s. The biggest worry though, was failing chinese. And so, I really prayed, and prayed, for a very long time [by my standards at least, comparatively], that I could pass my chinese.

On thursday, fatefully, chinese was first. I got back the compo paper, 52/90, and i thought, ok, 48 for paper 2 will clinch it. It was OK. Then, when i got back my paper 2 and saw the 46.5/110, i was absolutely shocked. Many thoughts went through my head. At first, it was 'why now?' of all times to fail a subject, much less chinese! And i was selfishly asking people to help my find marks. Sorry CX, PK and erm, Kumby, haha. Then it started to sink in. I was really distraught. For half a day [you ll find out why later its HALF], I was not myself at all. I was making unreasonable comments, as the feeling of desperation sank in. Along the way I got back quite a few papers, and yeah, EM was indeed A1. Bio also fluked an A1. And I have to say I'm sorry, when people like PK and KB talked about my maths being 'sick' i took it as mocking my chinese, and got pissed. And Meijun said she saw me talk in such a critical way she had never seen before. yeah, after reading CX's entry, i realised half the person i was. [the other half is the half that gets equally pissed when Arsenal cannot get results, haha jk]. To top it all off, i even asked the question, 'why God?'. yes I admit it, that was how low i got, and that I've got so much to improve, as a person. Still, I ll like to give thanks to Mrs Allison Lim, who said some comforting words to me after i told her of my chinese, that a 49 will surely be moderated to 50, and yeah, it really calmed me down for awhile.

Then after recess, when i came back, someone told me Mr Tay added 3m to my paper2 chinese! Goodness me! I couldn't believe it. I have to say, I deserved the mark, but very seldom do you get luck as such. Relief suddenly flooded through me. The dream was alive. And boy was it decisive. Now, going back to the rest of results. AM was made extremely dramatic by me again. Paper 1, i got 50. In fact i was feeling quite OK, cos i was expecting to lose 35 marks. I totally wasn't ready for it on the first day. Then paper 2, was a 68, which after adding in the marks for the matrix qn which could not be done, the overall was a 78, A1. Bang it in. Geog was a foregone conclusion, at least for 4/7 students [no offence to those who fell short], but we outclassed the field la. Then chem. I was so confident about it, i expected to cruise to an A1. Turned out, i just scraped another 78 for it. Practical was horrible, and paper 2 saved me. And Weelic, all confident as ever, suprisingly fell short of an A1. That's how deceiving chemistry was. Physics, i felt, was the most difficult science. The MSG was so high la. [high = numerically high]. To get an A1 i was quite surprised, but by then it really didn't matter la, the R5 was settled liao. The day ended with combined humanities, and ooh! I went oh so close to getting back on track. SS was good with 39 but i got dragged down by history with 35 la leaving a total of 74. now gimme a break. Oh, and the most important subject, english, hopefully it gets an A2. The scenario is that i got 67, then managed to add 3 marks for compre, now you do the maths, and I hope that with mercy it will turn into an A2. But if it doesn't, its OK. I'm satisfied with my results. And it is good la. I'll give myself credit where it is due, and I think I ll take some time to work on the languages, time which is more relaxing, before its back to the rest, the sciences and maths. oh and geog.

I left Thursday feeling whether or not 8 would be enough for RJC, and then on Friday, i read CX's entry which is really a great one. And then I went to Hope on Saturday, and it was difficult to openly say my results. I mean, people were all doing so much worse off, and I really could sympathise with them. Which made me realise, hey, that I should be way satisfied with myself, even if my parents still aren't.

Back to Friday, once i got the chinese paper, i could suddenly feel sympathy for people like PK and KB and whoever, who so dearly needed marks to be pushed up a grade so their L1R5 would be ok for their desired JC. And to only have that feeling after mine were secured, i realise that's really selfish of me. So it's been really a week of reflection for me la.
I also realised, how easily i get pissed when i watch Arsenal play. Now they are firing on all cylinders, but when they go dry, I ll swear when watching again. And its not that they are playing badly, it's just now putting the ball into the net. Like 2 weeks ago when Reading drew with Man United, elaine told me that she was happy that they fought back to a draw. And me, for the first 2 Arsenal matches at the Emirates against weak teams which ended in draws, i got so fed up with watching them. What loyalty?, you might ask. And yeah, I ll try to be more accomodating in this aspect too.

At the end of the day, it just goes to show what has become of the Singapore Education System, when everything is so highly stressed on meritocracy. The field is there, but the school can't even allocate a slot for us boys to enjoy soccer, and for girls to enjoy captain's ball or what have they [haha..]. And moving on, I don't mean to be offending, but I have to say I am yet again sickened by the many people protesting about unfair marking and marking discrepancies. you know, I also used to have this feeling of unfairness, like last year when band 1 students for english for such pathetic marks compared to other people, and come to think of it, perhaps it was unfair; this year, Mdm Chan has certainly been stricter than other teachers, and it is definitely unfair. But the teachers have got it right this time round for prelims la, and hats off to them. I mean, they do sectional marking which is as good as it gets. If there is any discrepancy, it would be the marking of compositions, and that would be understandable. But to complain about chem and geog and in the process delay the finalizing of marks is unacceptable. This is probably making it very obvious, but such attitude from students is really sad. And when i saw patricia is 4/6 struggling to justify herself, i pitied her. yes. I mean, yeah, she aint a good teacher at all, Im pretty sure she ll be kicked back to teaching lower sec next yr, another 'ms ho', and to have to face 4/6 whose many claims I'm sure, have no grounds, is sad. ah, as sad as it is, it's the harsh reality of the education system nowadays. I can only imagine that more colourful exchanges will take place in JC.

Please, do something. <----------L5/ Purpose detected

2006-09-29T23:37:00.000+08:00

Its friday again what-do-ya-know.
And I have to say, its been one hell of a forgetful Friday. lol.
In the morning James told me message some stuff by recess, and [yeah RATHER SUPRISINGLY], i forgot.
Then, during geography in the humanities room, we were doing mapwork, and i was almost about to take the whole map out when we left till i was reminded that it had to be collected and returned.
After recess was CHEM in the lab. One part of the QA involved getting a few drops of conc. HCl. And, 2 things here. First, i went there with only a test tube, no holder.Another 2 things to elaborate on this. Thankfully, I wasn't caught by patricia for not bringing a holder along, and thankfully i didn't let any of the acid be in contact with my hand when i added it to the test tube. Imagine, one drop trickling down the outside of the test tube and it would have been youch! Second thing, when i went there, i took conc. sulphuric acid, not HCl. Stupid right. And I was heating it gently and with CX were testing with moist litmus paper after moist litmus paper, and no effect. like WTH was going on. Only after awhile [and that was about 5mins!] did i realise i took the wrong acid.
That's not the end. After the whole prac session was done with, i left my pencil box in the lab. yes, i took A calculator, THE paper, and A pen[not -cil box]. Left the rest of it there. And it was so malu infront of patricia and weiting and sherhan and jj they all. man....................

On that forgetfulness theme, let us all not forget that one week has just silently passed us by. I sure didn't think I did much. yet i feel sleepy every night. yet i can't bring myself to study much during the day session. So, I think this transition time is fast running out, its time to get serious again guys.

Back to the chem lab. and the practical was quite interesting. The volumetric thing was very weird. It wasn't just the normal titrate this with that. It invloved adding this and adding that and THEN titrating this with that. And haha, its tricky, the pale yellow thing. its like the yellow keeps getting fainter and fainter, and you just don't know where to stop. Luckily i was SLOW, and this was worsened by the fact that my pipette filler was once again screwd. at LEAST patricia BOTHERED to change one for me. Also, CX was fast. so she overshot hers and i caught up. ha! And then the indicator thing was kinda redundant, but oh well. The QA was fun. The choking gas, and the highlight was the oxygen relighting glowing splints. For once, it was like pretty obvious. Haha.

This week has been kinda slack. In class its joking and all. At home I've tried reading zhitongche for one. Hai, gotta find some way to do better for chinese. Im really scared i ll fail for prelims. So I can take no risks, since from my viewpoint chi is worth 2pts, [passing it rather], and that is an impossible deficit to overcome if they aren't clinched.

On Tues night i woke up to watch champions league. Arsenal are back on form, and Henry suddenly scores 2 headers. [he still sucks at heading im sure]. More importantly, we're back on form. That's the confidence the win over Man U in front of their own fans gives.

And on that note, I believe what we're going through these days, is simply a mentality thing. About the O levels and all. Let's face it, the O levels is easy. Comparatively, there's no two ways about it. It's getting the job done, believing you can do well, that's the difficult part. People from double science classes, or pple struggling in trip. sc classes, often see it as such a challenge [not saying pple like me aren't], when, by virtue of being able to enter ANDERSON, we should all perform very well for the Os. So, its finding belief and confidence, and most importantly, peaking at the right time, I feel. I think any talk of consistency is now nonsense, since the prelims are all over already. There's one and a half months, and certainly, how the time is spent in the last 2 weeks, of that period, will be pivotal.

lastly, remember my entry before last, where the focus was on Mrs Chong and how we should lay off her?
Well, she's given us chocholates, and hey she's filthy rich, but it still takes effort and thought to buy chocholates okay!
And let's be honest, she's been able to relieve our stress with some very entertaining stories hasn't she.
Maybe that's not teaching, but we students from 4/7 are smart enough not to need teaching right..............=p

2006-09-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah the prelims are over. It's been a huge relief. Ive been pretty stressed out over the past few weeks. Even that one in the holidays. Most stressful were the days before PHYSICS and BIOLOGY, in which i was struggling to finish revising the entire syllabus. I got so tired at night, and really wished to continue, but, I found its no use, so i just went to bed early. I don't know. Don't really feel that confident of an A1 for those tests. And for a realist like me, i know when I have done a good test, like AM 2, EM 1n2. Obviously im confident for those. But, when Im not, i just hope i can somehow scrap an A1 out of those subjects.

Apart from that, has been to deal with my sweaty palm problems [haha!]. I got really anxious during SS which was the first "intense-writing" paper. I had so much difficulty writing, just so wanted to end the paper ASAP. So, thankfully i brought pens with rubber for subsequent papers. And it helped.

The aircon atmosphere was just wonderful. And I think the tests were conducted very well. Mdm Wong was OK. Her jokes were, err -----
but i think she maintained discipline. That was good. And there were full attendances. Remember that flak i directed at how the preps. were handled? haha.

For the science exams, really had to hold our bladders, lol. I was almost dying after chem, thanks to a sudden [i won't say migraine] headache, just as the lightning struck. Was struggling to finish the paper, but thankfully it wasn't too difficult. lol, for physics and bio, I had to restrict myself to very little fluid during breakfast. 2h45min lei!

There has also been the funny side of the prelims. "who belongs to this?" was kind of cold. And then today, Mrs Chong stamped the ground rather heavily, well that's so typical of her. And i just wonder why she shouts so loud when pple ask her qns. Guess its the aging process. We all know that's the case with mr Chye. Then, people bringing "insurance equipment"! Wah, like Sok Mui brought not 1, not 2, not 5, but 3 protractors! my goodness! and she forgot to bring for geog MCQ. =_=
"Tonight is the night. Put a string in your pencil box", lol arkar told me this, and i mean, like WTH does having a string help in measuing curved distances! Like how to u keep it not straight?! and Jun Jie, he brought an entire ball of sewing string. boy oh boy.

I think the prelims have produced many unexpected incidents. Some exams were easier than expected, certainly. Chemistry for one. Emaths? Paper 1 was easy, but paper 2 def. was of a higher standard, so, guess its balanced. As usual, there are the toughies. None more so than English Comprehension. Man, questions were so challenging. Just hope it doesn't screw the overall that much.

But well, not that the exams are over, finally we can take some time off. For me, that's being the avid football fan again. It's been an agonising first few weeks of the season, with arsenal playing so well but lacking finishing. FINALLY, without star man Thierry Henry, they managed 2 brilliant away wins at Hamburg and, sweet as ever, at Manchester. I stayed up late on Sunday, and boy was it worth it. We played them off the park, dominated them, missed a penalty, and still won. So much for not winning our first 3 games, and so much for Manchester winning 4 on the trot. Ha, take that ManU fans, [Leroy, Kelvin...Elaine?], whoo, victory sure is sweet. Wait till we do that to Liverpool.

Now, the IMF/WB are out of our island too, apparently coinciding with the conclusion of our prelims. Haha. Thank goodness there were no violence from civil society organisations.

Have been reading the news the past few days, and it hasn't been pleasant. From the coup in Thailand to the guilt expressed by the man whose wife bled to death after donating her kidney to him. Guess it just reminds me how lucky we all are. To be able to finish our prelims smoothly. For most of us [no offence], to be in with a real shout to go to the JCs we want to go. To be with the friends we have, and I must say today's outing with 2/4 pple to Sentosa to play with sand and swim about is really a great way to spend the last day of the exams. Most importantly, for me, to know that God is guiding me through this critical period of my life. That's comforting amidst the stress and the frustration I have felt this week. Im pretty sure of it, that Ive thrown away Amaths, because of a sloppy opening day. That was a tough start. Im sure, everyone has faced similar low points during the prelims. To be able to recover from them, and most of us certainly have, I think we should all give ourselves a real pat on the back.

yeh, its 37~38 days to O levels?
I thought it was pracs. but using common sense, hell no! its the real deal in that period of time!
Well, i have this to say.
How relaxed are you?

DONE. OVER. oh well.

2006-08-30T22:04:00.000+08:00

Man it feels great to finally get the prelim pracs. over and DONE WITH.
AND that this skin is finally up. Not that it's supposed to take that long, just that with PREPS and PRACs. i could hardly find anytime to put it up and do the editing and what have you.

But anyway, quite amazingly, its been MORE THAN A MONTH since Ive last blogged, and it feels so weird right now. Anyway, i ll still get on with this "familiarising" entry. Noticed the fonts a little tighter, but i think its sort of less messy. My thought. And, hard to believe, the many weeks [5, 6?] we had with no pressure whatsoever have just passed us by. I mean our schedule now is quite like a cyclone, with the pressure-free zones and the high pressure zones. whatever;

And I've had to have this near-impossible task of balancing football with studies now. I guess Ive studied lots during the period of time which in football terms I'll like to call, "post-world cup pre-EPL" period. But know its tough, and its tougher when MY arsenal are not getting results. Argh. Yet again its that cliche, trying to "pass the ball into the net". Its frustrating. Even more frustrating when people keep saying they are the best passing team in Europe.

Bah. Schedule is bad, bad. Man U - Arsenal and Chelsea- Liverpool are taking place on Sunday 17th September, which is, midway through prelims. After that theres champions league too. damn it sucks. zz.

But for now i ll try to make the most of the holidays, which im sure we all would. PREPS. has been OK. sadly not much progress, which is the most important thing to get through these tests that count for nothing, nothing at all. For once, i screwd up CHEM. Worse, i screwd up COMBINED HUMANITIES. This is quite a collapse la. My A1s from sec3 till now [which i am VERY proud of], suddenly become a 27+26=53/100. ya at least im still proud of it. zz.
Well, at least AM and BIO were my alternatives. Thats the good thing about R5 when u take trip. science i guess. its pick 5 from 7. these subjects were big boosts la. but the one i needed most still hasnt come to fruition. Hopefully, its hasn't YET. But time is running out fast, and english is a language. Its not easy. I think it certainly is within me but sometimes it just doesn't work out.

For the moment, its teachers day tomorrow. Mdm Chan should be delighted that we got top for chinese, i mean imagine how well we could have done if I wasnt in 4/7. [yala thats too modest of me, so also, conversely, imagine how slightly poorer we could have been if i hadn't contributed my share of A1s to the class, aha]

Today, seeing Mr Tan really made the day, i think. Man he really looks visibly skinnier. Guess stress amounts to less time for exercise and perhaps, less time for the brain to focus on digestion? I mean, thats a relatively old human brain we're talking about. lol.

I wonder, if anyone has dared tell Mr Tan about the state of our maths now, i mean under Mrs Chong's influence. I could only imagine, if TTP was around, the difficult questions we would have to do. Not just difficult, unnecessary, i should add. I mean, its frustrating doing all the freaking difficult PnC qns isnt it. After awhile, no? Doing all the integration of linear function divided by linear function-its not easy! Its difficult, perhaps a waste of time, and again revolving back to that word, STRESS. At a time like this, surely the last thing we graduating students want is to be stressed over maths questions which we cant seem to solve. I mean, even for a person like me who's not that devoted to maths, i still get pissed when i can solve a problem. And that pissed attitute sort of renders one unable to study other topics, more pressing matters. Haha thats my phrase. Regardless, TTP is STILL the best teacher ive had by far, really. If anyone needs proof of that, read the entry not long ago-its really not that long ago and already his absense is felt. Im just trying to say that Mrs Chong aint all that bad. I mean, she has a good track record, last year. Yes, past glory, students individual efforts people may say, but its something she deserves. So, i think all of us who have reservations about her should think twice about it. Quite honestly, i sometimes get sick of her apparent poor teaching methods, which was minimised for a simple topic like vectors, but then amplified for relative velocity. All in all, i think she aint THAT bad a teacher as many people apparently see her to be. Lay it off her yeah?
heh.

2006-07-19T21:39:00.000+08:00

Ah, I think today has made me feel very disappointed about the school. SCHOOL.
Yes, I always thought the school was progressing quite well, you know, the renovations and all. I must say the outlook of the school is fantastic, probably better than any school in Penang [they are really quite run down]. OK, but i do feel that this school is very corrupted and lax when it comes to exams. Seriously.

During sec3, even term 1 this year, our school has had this fantastic idea of common tests. Oh yeah, next best thing to true-train right, so we have more curriculum time. Or more time blown dry by some creative-minded teachers. *some. And because of the relatively small scale "common test" outlook, there is no common time for the tests. How ironic. So one class can take it on Monday, the next class takes it on next Friday. And we being split up from our sec2 classes, have real good links between friends of other classes. Yes. Thumbs-up to the school, it has truly succeeded in strengthening trust towards friends from OTHER CLASSES. I am dead sure the teachers all know this full well. During a chem prac. this yr, ms goh even mentioned it. oh great! we still took the same test. guess what>? Who didn't do well for the test man. And if it wasn't enough help, the chem teachers decided to further lower the weightage of the test to allow more people to get A1s. Its jus like cutting off part of a bell curve. I mean come on. In that matter, even though my english has been extremly poor for 2 terms, i am glad that they aint making things easy for us. Like in term 1, even when it concerned colors award, they didnt do "moderation". That's the way things should be. Really.

And come on, last yr's EOY exam was such a success. After every paper we could keep the qn paper. What has happened to that? Now this preps., every paper has to be collected back, people are just not sticking to the schedule. And they are still allowed to take the tests as much as a week after. You gotta be kidding man. The next best thing to LIVE telecasts on TV is same-day telecasts. Who wants to watch a delayed telecast of something man. It totally takes the kick away from it. The school is just so lax at this. Teachers are giving in to students' requests for hints, tips. Come on, u ask them before O lvls and suddenly they wont be so willing, cause they dont want to screw us up. Precisely what's happening now. Some students are just so good at this, getting tips from friends, teachers, etcetera. Goodness, come O lvls, good luck. Thank the school for trying out a true-train like program without the protection of confirmed passage to a good JC. Hats off to ya man.

Honestly, how many people have had an exam "fixed". I certainly have, and i admit it. During sec3, the chengyu tests were all selective studying. Man, and almost everyone did the same thing. Yes, i am guilty. But please, students can't be blamed, its natural, its normal. Blame the cause. Get at the root. No provocation, no headbutt [that's so random]. Similarly, if the school is strict on the tests. and organises it to take place at the same time, deduct marks /day if students don't turn up like Mr Tan did do, then all this surely wouldnt have taken place. When Mr Tan deducted 5marks frm some 4/6 student for a common test, i think it made all of us afraid of getting sick during tests. Just like refereeing a football match. You be strict early on, players will be less aggressive. Then, you wont end up losing control of matches and break a record by producing 16yellows and 4reds in a match. Impose your firmness early on, and it will pay. Same thing for NPCC i think. We as seniors really were too lax by Aug and Sep last yr. The CIs were practically giving up on taking digs at us anymore. Just fed up. And everything from then on really didnt go the way we wanted it too. Well. That's enough for one day.

I have my views on things. expect more to come. lol. you know it makes sense.

k la, anyway i had a great 17th July. the EM was bad, but bio was ok. AHH i cant even spot V(ictory) in black and white. lol. Then had a great day la. Thanks for all the sms-es. Thanks James for the album which i had so wanted, thanks Ariana and Naomi for the pencil box which i had so needed, thanks yanchao "and gang" for that 512mb MMC, thanks Nick and co. as well for the red currant no.10 shirt of Dennis Bergkamp, even though you got it pretty cheap, he IS one player i respect a whole lot .Thanks Sherhan and Weiting for making me feel so embarrassed and everyone else who EITHER said happy birthday to me on monday or with the belated after monday, and those who sms-ed me. haha. ok. That's a load off my chest.

Im still mentally blown off by the NSW test.

2006-07-14T22:16:00.000+08:00

Its been a long week man. Very long.
Boy, after monday i dunno why it felt like Thursday or something.
But God lifted me through la.
Haha, his help was very apparent from day 1 la.
Read James's blog about the 5min thing he had for Amath P2, and i have my own 5-min miracle for EM P2 as well. 5mins left, i was stuck with the 2nd part of qn2 on trigo. and bearings. Trigo. and the circle properties had been my serious weakness for EM la, just the inability to notice stuff. and i was looking at part 3, part 4, freaking hell if i had the ans to part 2 i cld apply them straight away.

AND THEN IT CAME.

wow i suddenly realised the alternate angles and managed to finish the rest of the qn in 5mins. and checked ans with my friends, it TALLIED. omg. huge relief. in fact, after the papers were collected, i was staring right up [in this case its the ceiling but where else man]. just amazed.

That was a huge lift for me la. That night, i was so tired la. History and AM were to follow on tuesday. I have gotten A1s for history in every exam, i didnt want to waste it. But, my record for AM was nothing like it. Its been pretty cursed. 3 times ive gotten 74.k, where k<5, lol. and then there was the horrible C5 for last yr EOY. i was determined to set right AM. so i decided, i would study less for history. i did cold war and fall of communist govt. in the afternn, not throughly at all. and at night was a rush of maths. i got so pissed over PnC, integration, and i focused alot on ABSOLUTE VALUE. ok it didnt come out on P1, bud it did eventually for P2. Going by the trend, absolute value always came with big marks. BIG. and so for tues, hist, every1 was predicting MAO would come out. i was so shit-ed. usually only 1 topic came out for each theme. Theme 3 had Cold War, MAO, and Fall of USSR. if MAO came out i'd be done. DONE.
And surprise surprise, cold war AND mao came out. huge relief. My history record should be intact. and AM, i was careless at times, bud fortunately the mistakes occurred at the "show" qns, so its easy to spot them. and i did EITHER for the last qn. huge relief. 2 tough days settled. Wed was less stressful. the compre passaged quite touched me la. recently i read a sunday times article about a CEO who died of cancer, and he said cancer gave him the best months of his life. it was so touching. back to the paper. it was tough, but still OK on the whole la. Thurs. CHINESE. no nd to say. its a joke really. i didnt know the guy died. i thought he left for somewhere or something. [do i understand chinese???]

Alongside that, physics MCQ was tough la. really tested deep concepts like the shorter e dist, larger the field of view. and magnetic field on moon doesnt change. and the Paper2 was better. MUCH BETTER than the chemistry paper on monday which is [im sorry bud the critism has to flow again] FREAKING LOW STANDARD. like WTH? lifting electrolysis qns frm papers which we hv been told to do? what is this man. give us free marks for what. and ask us 3 times whether is exothermic or endothermic. whats the problem man. no arrogance, but big occasions such as preps. should Really test students la. sigh.

Friday's AM turned out to be quite challenging. first qn last part just needed area - area, i ended up using cosine rule and then 0.5absinx to find the area, bud the exact value at the end was comforting. then i loved the absolute value qn. i was praying it would come out, and it came out big. summore for quadratic eqn. so it was pretty doable. i had practised hard on transformations la. so, in conclusion, im really hoping for A1 for maths this time. That the hard work would pay off. Anyway, if i dont, at least, ive did the best one can do, and that's TRY. [thats quoted from Roger Federer, tennis's no.1 player].

Now i just want to end the preps. on a high note. [PLEASE GOD!]
will update plenty of things, including what i think of THAT headbutt.
FORZA ITALIA anyway!!!! [i am so unfaithful to Les Bleus].

2006-07-02T00:26:00.000+08:00

And then its another farewell.
What a year it has been, bade farewell to my friend migrating to Australia at the beginning of the year. Then in May it was Highbury. haha. Now, somewhat abruptly, Mr Tan has come into early retirement. It's such a pity la, always felt like asking him why not at the end of the year, and when i did on Friday, he said he was advised to stop teaching for his health. Well, i think it could only be a family member of smth that he would sort of prioritise above us wonderful students. haha.

Yes, Friday was a fantastic send-off to him. Thankfully he managed to arrive, and well i guess pizza was not really to his liking [health and all, "plenty of sugar"!!], but i guess its okay to eat it once in awhile. After all, how could he reject it. so, after we boys were totally crowded out by the girls while doing the toasting, me JJ and WL finally managed to squeeze in and get a short chat with him. yeah, he mentioned about how so many of us have matured since sec3. Haha, he even joked about his experience as a student in school and in a university in Malaysia. it was funny, it was so similar to what my dad said, about the very apparent favouritism towards malays. oh well. and he said our batch of students are one of the least troublesome, that was so nice to hear. haha, while i was asking the questions, junjie kept complimenting and praising him till it made him like so embarrassed, where he like couldnt open his mouth, holding a smile. lol.

And so after we went to the area outside General Office to take plenty of photos. haha, and naomi went crazy over him, so desperate to stand next to him to take photos. lol. ok maybe im making things sound more awkward.

Pardon me but i think this is an excellent shot of the boys and TTP. It really is.
[you know, without those pesky girls. ok jk la. lol.]

Then just me, JJ, and weelic.

Ok notice the pattern of subsets?
First the whole class then the boys then the 3 of us and now ME, MYSELF, and I, and the one constant k, Mr Tan. LOL.

Man, i have always thought Mr Tan was a great teacher, since the start. yes, during the first test in term 1, i missed an A1 by 0.5marks. I remember it was 26/35 or something. 26.5 would have been >75%. haha. i was angry. felt hard done by la, when about 5marks was duducted for no working shown/never underline/mixed number in an equation. yes, then i did something to the paper in stupidity. somehow, i was more foolish[or perhaps not] when i allowed him to see what i did. he stared at me with his accusatory eyes, then told me to meet him after school.
Then, he probably said the most meaningful words a teacher has said to me in my secondary school life. yeah, i broke down. but i think it changed my impression on studying somewhat since that day. And i think it really inspired me to perform so consistently well throughout 2005. I managed to break my mid-year jinx, and for once, i ended the year feeling satisfied, unlike the previous years' feeling of "what if" and "what could have been". and then i met him the day the EOY papers were given out. he asked how i did. and i said, very good. [ok i didnt expect myself to be so arrogant at that point]. and then he gave me a sarcastic look of disgust. haha. i laughed. he walked away. zzz.

k la. and this year, i think ive mentioned it plenty of time, that he nv scolds me [compared with JJ]. haha. i dunno why.many times, i did not do my homework. he definitely knows la. every time we are copying stuff from his transparency, he will sit at the desk and stare at either mine or JJ's work. so, he definitely sees what i write. Hell, he even managed to spot some small error i made in an integration exercise. lol. yes, he is such an observant guy. i guess at times this year i have been very stressed. the late nights, the oozing rashes. as usual TTP is at his apparent "no sympathy" towards these kind of things la. but im sure he does care a lot la. Its just he doesnt know how to show his emotions. To be honest, i was surprised he never looked surprised in the hall. He did not do anything when Mdm Wong broke down to tears. That, i guess, is what people call the "measure of a man". perhaps thats why they say women are so much more emotional, but what the heck, dont we just love our teachers all the same, if not more?

2006-06-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

Well, its been long since I've been here.
And man its already time for sch reopen, and what i'd like to call the HOME STRETCH.
Nxt month will be a big month in due time.
First and foremost, our Prep. where we all will see indeed if all our efforts made during the June hols hv come to fruition. Then on July 9th, its the final in Berlin. Hope my spain/france will be there. aha. Moving on, im turning 16 on the 17th
[cool man nxt yr i can say im turning 17 on the 17TH. =.=]
And im sure it pretty much gets tougher from this month on, so yeah, thats the start of the home stretch.

Finally came back from m'sia on wed night, where i managed to watch plenty of tv there including world cup, and i also managed to finish my geog. o yeah! They just seemed to be inexhaustible. lol.

There was CHEM on thur, and boy was it boring. whats worst was that i left my pencil box in school. just hope i can FIND it. argh. of all times to be careless.....
oh well. on friday it was a mad rush of homework. think i did 2 Amaths papers from 8am to noon, had lunch, then continued with 1 more. really a marathon . lol then continued with chinese compre, then a history essay, and topped things off with revising physics TYS.
really, this is the stuff that laggers are made of. LOL.
towards the night the flu was getting really really bad, i think i must have been quite a concern to the environmentalists about how many trees i was going to burn at one stage. thankfully managed to sleep sound, although it wasnt so pleasant when i woke up. kept sneezing and sneezing, and i was feeling rather breathless [nonono not breath taken away]. so went to see a doctor and be it placebo effect or whatever, it immediately abated when i stepped into clinic. guess its pretty much the same reason which explains why u always see things when you dont need them and when u need them u cant find them. or why we nv express our feelings until its too late. ok. digressing way too much. lol.

so went home, took an awful long nap also to make up for the stressful friday. and then checked my messages. one of which told that Les Bleus finished 2nd after winning 2-0, which i was delighted at first. only until after awhile i realised they were meeting SPAIN. the hot team. damn. what a sad clash of interests. somehow i feel France can weave some magic.

Anyway. speaking of world cup, the referees have been awful. none worse than Graham Poll, who is the english premier league's best referee, who gave 3 yellow cards before sending a Croatian player off. boy, Australia could have ordered a replay just cos of that!
well so far, i believe the form teams have been spain, germany, and perhaps argentina, which, i think were brought back to earth in the round of 16 clash v Mexico, where they were so, so lucky to progress, thanks to probably the goal of the tournament by Maxi Rodriguez.

So that is it, probably the last entry for a long time. perhaps if SPAIN / FRANCE triumph in Berlin then i ll hv smth to write haha.

you know it makes sense.

2006-06-12T01:09:00.000+08:00

ENCOUNTER CAMP last friday.
Okay it wasn't really a camp for me la since i only went for ONE day, bud it sure was a great day. Woke up extremely early [compared to previous days] to take 165 to Clementi INT, then switch to 96 to get into NUS campus, then take a shuttle bus to PGP. All that had to be done since my dad was overseas! arrgh.

But anyway it was raining real heavily la, and the lower floors were really badly flooded.
Still, straight away had a praise and worship session followed by sermon, both of which were the longest i've experienced, lol. Esp worship, wow the time just seemed to slip so quickly, but so meaningfully too.

Next was lunch and had some time to interact with the new CG members, and we are one sick bunch la, continually talking about how [fill it urself] the food was. Like what, old lady's fingernails [pieces of fish] with some dirt [black pepper] and maggots [rice...?] so disgusting la lol.

Hmmm then after that played "wargames" when it was nothing like it lol. Had to go around questioning suspects to find out who killed Shirley. And super frustrating la, as if the rain wasn't bad enough, there were still those freakish gamemasters spraying water as you rather enthusiastically. lol.

Anyway was glad to have a long break and wash-up, and after that it was BringItOn! and lol the bloopers were funny bud yeah northeast's AM static won! deservedly la. yeah. Man, it was a long day la, pity i cldnt stay on to spend more time having fun and fellowshipping with the grads. grp pple. yeah, bud i sure experienced God like i hv never before in that short 6~8hrs or so. =)

*and i also learnt that PGP's resorts at NUS look so modern frm the outside with tempered glass panels, bud inside it is total rubbish!

hmmm last few days it feels weird not being able to catch world cup matches live, bud im sure most of them were quite boring as well. such as England scrapping past Paraguay 1-0 frm an OWN GOAL. how silly. if anything i feel, the 2 big factors in successful teams is either a good defence, or a good attack. England had a great midfield but Crouch and Owen were hopeless up front man. Argentina however were so clinical in finishing of the Ivory Coast and their goals were superb finishes man, they are definitely favourites for this. Still, im backing Spain and France this time. hmm, the way things are going for spain in sport, Alonso continuing to win F1 grand prix[s]....Nadal beating Federer in the french open final, and alas Barcelona winning the champions league, nothing seems to be going wrong with them, so, why not the world cup?

2006-06-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

Here we are again, already deep into the 2nd week of hols, and it only seems like the first.
But hoorah, World Cup is going to kick-off ever so soon! sigh, i supported France for WC 2002 and the 2004 Euro championships, and boy were they miserable tournaments. This time round I'm going with RED the winning colour of almost all sport, in spain and netherlands i guess. haha. okok, better not digress too much into football.

Hmmm, last few days, havent been doing much PRODUCTIVE stuff, bud anyway, this week in my schedule is science week, and i must say ive read the chem txtbk like a pledge now, cos of the freaking idiotic questions that are set. And i must quote out, some schools are really so weird. They set MCQ qns about mole concept which involves about 2~3 steps and its 1m. And in seectionA they set things name gas X which is, 1m as well. uhhhh =_=.

That's done for homework. havent even set foot on the lang papers. Well anyway, about my fears of cockroaches, i think i have overcome them somehow, using the concept of, erm, vaccination. you see, vaccines provide immunity to diseases by giving you a very weak form of that disease, so ur body can overcome it and be immune to it frm then on. Well, i guess by beating the sick hell out of innocent smaller cockroaches, im now able to whack big ones as well. cool huhh. the amazing applications of science onto psychology[which i suppose IS a form of science as well].

Anyway, havent been doing much but just chatting with friends online and on the phone and catching up on Teri Hatcher and the rest of the desperate housewives cast as more and more surprises spawn in the never-ending maze of lies, sex and deceit. haha.

On friday i ll b able to go for ENCOUNTER! at NUS which should be a world of fun and learning as well, esp after i had to miss service last week due to some unfortunate family reasons, haha. Speaking of that, mom forced me to go to a talk at the temple near my house [biggest in the country i believe] about 'Ups and downs', which was quite good also la. It had nothing to do about religion, for once, haha, and yeah there were impt points about learning how to let go in life and etc. Think it helped alot, although i listened to the whole thing with my specs off, eyes closed, lol. [fact that i didnt fall aslp must mean it was at least of OK standard].

So, till next time, cant wait for Friday at midnight where Germany will kick-off the hunt for the 'holy grail' at the fantastic Allianz ArenA in Munich. =)

2006-05-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah, the holidays are finally upon us.
Boy has it been long since I've blogged, haha.
Hmmm, in a week, there has been plenty of CHANGE. yes that vague word.

Haha, firstly, on Wed, finally passed out of NPCC after 3 and a half [ i really dont know why everyone says its 4, 4, 4, its 3 and a half only what!] years of that cca. We'd barel;y rehearsed for the parade thing la, and we didnt have our own fancy drill performance like other batches did in the past, but, what the heck, we've broken plenty of 'records' in the other extreme end for being arugably the worst batch, and yeah its good to keep the streak going. LOL. Hiaz, just a year ago, when we took over, it was like so sian, keep getting scolded by CIs during the first few trainings, but since the turn of the year where i got to take squad and organise camp, man it feels bad to leave, esp when the sec1s are in such a sorry state of affairs [no offence its a formality]. Back to the occasion, whoa, while marching the final 14 steps to ark's timing, started to remember all the miserable moments during sec1, 2 and 3, lol. All the times we got criticised for having small attendance, and the times when our drills were crap. lol. Time has called upon us. yeah, the feeling of throwing our berettes were great sia, and the boot-stomping and chaotic-chasing after that was unforgettable also, haha. Next was the "early-anticipated" buffet [jus a high-class way of saying "catering"]. haha, the apostrophes do their job la, the food was SUCKY. bud wadeheck. after that the performance frm sec3s was quite good, the movie thing. and they gave us a gay band each, how gay! and the small and last-min card the sec1s did was quite touching also la, lol. There was this guy who said he likes my sense of humour! and i mean like, i try my best to act fierce when taking squad, and he thinks its funny. well thats funny.

lol, then on Saturday NEA3 also got restructuring. Ah, its like happening so fast la, these things, and all in this fateful year summore. Hmmm, now in grads. group things im sure great things beckon, though ll still miss the jons and the petes and the zhicais. lol. not yk [okay JK la]. Speaking of it, i think the sermon was the most significant one yet, about addiction and all, which is quite true to me la. I mean i'm so addicted to watching soccer, i've been watching almost every early kick-off, every super sunday match, and every match involving Arsenal, including 2.30am champions league matches. sigh, and also sometimes cant stop playing computer games. so, seriously, ive gotta fight the addiction la. hopefully the sermon served as big motivation. AND, btw on friday night,

[for pple who hv read Digital Fortress]

Subject: Big cockroach
Status: TERMINATED

lol. i managed to swat one of those fearsome creatures! mainly cos it was in my way and i really really needed to get my calculator. haha. staying at that, Shirley must be quite some person to witness 12 cockroaches writhing in pain walking the road to hell. you know, it's one thing having Baygon spray, its another thing daring to spray and watch them die tragically. okok, better not digress too much.

No, i still havent got over the 5mins of madness in Paris on May 17th.
No, my skin still hasn't fully healed.
No, i cant bring myself to change my impression on HER, [lol, never will]
No, i haven't decided which JC i want to go to.
No, i can't stop sleeping late.
No, any slight movement of any cockroach within visible range will STILL cause a proportional [reflex] movement in me.

However,

Yes, Henry's decison to stay at Arsenal has been comforting.
Yes, i've learnt a whole lot about self-control [or rather LACK of self-control] when u develop rashes
Yes, i'm NOT going to HCI.
Yes, I've adapted and aint that sleepy in sch nowadays.
Yes, I've started to kill cockroaches who stubbornly stay stationary and chose not to frighthen me. Mercilessly i should add.

[hmm, think i ll upload pictures when im free some other day, boy its LATE!!]

It makes full sense. =p.

2006-05-18T18:13:00.000+08:00

"When you win it's happy days."
yeah, when you don't. i guess the feeling sucks.
yeah, the losing feeling does suck.
Arsenal finally fell to Barcalona, 2-1, in Paris.
The sad thing was, we were so close, so close...to winning the "holy grail".
Down to 10men after our goalkeeper was sent off for a silly challenge outside the box, i thought it was all over, we would be run down badly, especially with the class that barcalona had, Ronaldinho [THE best player in the world], Eto' and Deco.
Miraculously, we still managed to take the lead before half time, after a strong header above a hapless Barca defence.

In the 2nd half, they came at us badly. On the few times that we managed to hit them on the break, Henry spurned 3 guilt-edged chances. Had we been 2-0 up, it was truly game over. But they say in football, it's all about taking your chances, and we didn't. And Barca came roaring back with 15mins left. 15mins short, of the holy grail. Pre-match, everyone was talking about Henry and Ronaldinho, but they played poorly, sadly. It was a Barca sub that changed the match, and 2 goals in 5mins totally wrecked our hearts. Damn!

At the end of the day, people say that the referee was biased against Barca, but honestly, Barca deserved it la. We would surely have won if Henry worked his way passed the goalkeeper before tapping in, like he usually does. Tension or whatever, he always tried to hit it first time, and it did not work out at all. What a pity.

But it's ok. The 10men fought like heroes against the 11 of Barca. And i can say for sure, we gave them a much tougher challenge than Chelsea did with 10 men. Oh well, now it's time to look at the future. There's a great season ahead in the new stadium, and if Henry stays, I'm sure we can overcome Chelsea.

I think, when the second goal went in, it made me realise how much time i have wasted playing computer games and all. Watching football is so much more meaningful. [contradicting, lol]. Or any kind of sport la. Be it tennis or F1 or whatever. Its def so much more meaningful. Sigh, prob that's why my results have deteriorated so much. Besides, it's still salvageble la. gotta find some way to fix Amaths. and of course, the bewitched language that is English.

It has been an emotional week la. I am really mentally tired.

But it's not too bad, they were only the best I've ever had.

2006-05-15T23:09:00.000+08:00

Today, we got back most of our remaining results. Or at least i realised.
Started with english. and the functional writing was a miserable 20. but the vocab test that followed left me stunned. Boy is this another term of English screwed up, and since sec3, i've only gotten A1 for a language ONCE. Seriously sad, and, worrying.

Then, Amaths was pretty horrible really. so careless. and when mr tan saw my paper, he was saying "Not good enough!". and he wasn't wrong. so many freakish mistakes on differentiation, and they cost you big time when u get the first part of the qn wrong. And to the test i have this to say.

- Sum of terms is the EASIEST be it differentiation or integration.
- Always check to make sure the SIGN is correct. I seem to have a real knack at making these sort of silly errors.
-Proving. ALWAYS complete the square.

Sigh. "Nothing to talk about liao la".lol.
Also got back Emaths and physics.
This term is very average for me la. dammit.
Emaths geog and the 3 sciences were all fairly simple tests, who doesn't get A1 for them.
I suspect, prep. will be much tougher la, so hopefully, I can rise to the occasion. Honestly, the only outstanding subject has been my combined humans, or history at least. lol. we've got plenty of time now. chemistry syllabus if finished le, so at least can start revising. bud we are pretty slow at bio and physics man. imagine all the chapters we have to cramp into our minute brain. I cant. boy oh boy.

but we all have to. period.

I think this term, the soccer has totally overwhelmed me, the race for 4th place, and the great run in the champions league. Now, season's over, apart from the small matter of the champions league final, and the even smaller matter of the world cup [ha!]. Really gotta do constant revision. and selective studying for geog, if its going to work out. The late nights studying in the bright lights in my room have been the best nights, where i really felt i was MAKING PROGRESS. Now I've gotta try to lock myself in there man. haha.

I'm an optimist. you know it makes sense. lol.

2006-05-08T23:09:00.000+08:00

Wow, the fact that im blogging so soon again means it must be something special.
And it was. On sunday night.
It was the final day of the season 05/06.
More importantly it was the last match at Highbury, which i have been counting down on this blog since the turn of the year. lol.
Apart from all the celebrations expected post-match, there were still points for grabs.
We soooooooo needed 4th spot for champions league nxt season [only top 4 teams get it], and rivals Spurs have been there since December, keeping us at 5th. If Spurs won, there was nothing we could do. If they drew or lost, and we won, then we wld pip them to 4th. But, spurs have been on excellent form la, and they were "expected" to win, so no one gave us a chance about getting 4th place.

As fate would have it, on Sunday morning, a bug hit the Spurs players and 10 of their first team players suffered from food poisoning. WHAT A "BLESSING". yeah,. if it being the last match wasnt enough motivation. And we started off brilliantly. Scored a goal in 8mins and the crowd was in raptures. Then, complacency kicked in. Sigh. While everyone was cheering, Wigan stunned us first with a poorly defended freekick, to make it 1-1. And then another freekick, where the goalie was caught offguard, and BANG, it was 1-2. I was so dam shocked la. However, 2mins after that, right away, Henry got us back level with a superb 1v1 finish. 2nd half, a gift from a defender allowed henry to make it 3-2. and then soon after 4-2 from the penalty spot. His hat-trick, and he kissed the ground after that, a scene which will prob be replayed over and over again. Full time followed, and all the fans hailed the wonderful player who turned the match around. Surely, after yesterday, he would stay at Arsenal. Critics say otherwise, but i am damn sure of it. Now we can look forward to May 17th, against Barcelona, where the pressure will be off our shoulders. =)

2006-05-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

DOUBLE STANDARDS.
Boy do i hate that phrase. It applies to all aspects of life, I feel.
Like, for example, in soccer, the Chelsea manager always feels that the press is against Chelsea. When Manchester and Arsenal were winning titles they were well-branded and well-respected. Now that Chelsea have won their 2nd title in as many years, all everyone talks about is when they will collapse, and their boring style of play. Yes, i don't like Chelsea. I don't like the way they play. But I understand how Chelsea are feeling.

Now, for an example today, we got back a test paper, and i did quite okay for it, and i'm assured of an A1 liao. There was this one question worth 2marks where everyone who has seen my answer and compared it with others, would agree that I deserved at least 1, if not both marks. When i asked the teacher, she said "I want you to learn how to phrase your answer in the proper way" Okay. The thing is, instead of using "heat absorbed", I wrote "heat taken in". Apparently someone's English aint so good, but it doesnt take an English pro to understand that they mean pretty much the same thing. Okay. So i'll learn.I'll use absorbed next time. However, I noticed some one my friends using phrases such as "energy used up" and golly me they got 2marks for that question. So i went back to the teacher to demand an explanation. And she said, "It's not that it matters, you've already got your A1. I won't entertain you any further." Why how professional! We are from 4/7. The average person gets an A1, unlike in other classes. And she declares that, "If someone from [another of my classes] wrote that, I can understand that their English is not that good. As long as what they are thinking is right, they deserve the mark." Indeed, I am sure this is doing you no favours into increasing your likeness which has been so evident of your actions. [all the following is referring to A TEACHER and not some close friend of mine however intimate it sounds okay, LOL]

This, my friends, is blatant double standards. Being a teacher, you can be strict or lenient. Easy-going or always serious. Either way, you can be a good teacher in the eyes of students. [Mrs Lim and Mr Tan respectively]. What is important is to be consistent in your actions, so treat everyone equally, with the same, i shall say, RESPECT. Only then will you get it in return. Earlier, I was talking to some of my classmates, and i sort of told them that i felt, teachers who are rigid, and don't give in easily to students' requests for marks, are good. What is important is being consistent in being rigid, or giving in. Being inconsistent and contradictory in your actions, will result in dire consequences in the future. In politics, one contradictory statement will be instantly picked up on by the opposition. It gives a poor impression of yourself, and that's exactly how i feel. It doesn't really matter much to be, as far as I'm concerned. I'm pretty confident of being able to self-study in a subject which is poorly taught. If anything, it's an ADVANTAGE on top of other students who depend on notes. [BOO HOO!].I mean, u print so much notes for free and you sell a small bundle of test papers for how much? And we're forced to pay! Why don't you try selling your notes and see the reaction you'll get? And I can seriously picture her, 10years down the road, being something like a Ms Ow-yeong.[if u can grasp the insulting part of that].Teachers say that the results don't relate to any bonus to them or anything, but the truth is that it will determine whether they get to teach sec4, or, quote "socially cannot mix with" sec2s. Results do matter to teachers. Mr Tan is always stressing how poor our results are, why? The answer's in the question isn't it.

Oh well. I made so much out of something so small. Guess it goes to show, that

"one never knows what ripples one's falling pebble will cause"

Sigh. Ok. Today, also got back Chinese and History. Failed Chi la. lol. 25/55. That's "Chan's minimum standard" ? lol. doesn't matter la. only thing that matters is that I PASS OVERALL can le ba. i mean the tian cong is pretty much guesswork. and compre is jus whether i can UNDERSTAND the qn, which shows how freaking poor my chinese is. too late.
History was ok la. 18/25 is not great, but then again the highest was only 19. Really, by making the combined humanities tougher and tougher, they prob want pple to neglect it more and more, with the essays being of more weird forms, and souce-based having combined skills in one qn.

Well, this term has been tiring, and if anything, term 3 will definitely be rush-hour term, if what Ernest and Mr yong said is anything to come by. Seriously, the end of the football season is quite a huge relief to me. I mean i wun die if i miss a world cup match. Final or not. Blimey, international matches just don't captivate me like club football matches do. Passion. Support for a club.Perhaps if Singapore football gets better. LOL.

Well, there is just a Sunday of premier league action left. And its the farewell match at Highbury before we move into the 60.000 seater emirates. Lets just hope the day will be a great one. Wigan ain't strong. I dunno. 7-0? We've already done that twice in the past year! ha!.

2006-04-28T23:40:00.000+08:00

COMMON TESTS ARE DEAD AND BURIED,
ok except for the last fingernail jutting out frm the coffin that is EMATHS.

Ha today had NAPFA test, and as usual, i faced huge huge problems at my 2 weak sections, the sit n reach and standing broad jump. guess we were super lucky to get to do sit-ups first la hor. man it was the typical thing to start la. managed to do 52 i tink. then tough one, standing broad. crap man. my first jump only managed to get 211cm and the C for gold is 218. ahhh. i prayed hard, damn hard to get 218 at least, something seemingly impossible. then i rmbed what arkar said to "lift off ur legs like an aeroplane", and so i did. and i managed to get 220+, and i sliped, one leg moved infront abit. and mr nagor said it didnt count. and said 210 straight away. and i mean please, yes it didnt count bud cmon he allowed so many girls to slip and he jus estimated their reading. i felt i was seriously hard done by. i mean i wld hv accepted it if he jus gave me a 220 when i jumped slightly more than that ok.

sian. then the rest was the normal stuff la, sitnreach jus managed 39 [C was 38], then pull-ups and the shuttle run was FUN. haha. poor junjie i tink he was severely nervous and hence cld not perform as well. bud the place total sucked la, bud it was fun hearing all the screeching, none better than Zhishu's i tink. haha. then went home with yanchao.

Wah, came home jus dropped dead on the bed. then had dinner and watched tv awhile, then played dota at frm 2130~2330 hrs. wah fun la. one of the most exciting matches. yep. playing with ark ken n zm is fun la, and that mavis so pro. walao. lol.

ya. so the whole wk of tests have been over, and the hall atmosphere was wonderful la. the aircon and all, only prob was the light getting into ur eyes for the early exams. best thing was still all the FREE PAPER. YEAH. rocks man. sigh tink i screwd up amaths again. the rest are hopefully still OKAY. bud i am really hoping for something good in English la.
yeah and of course chinese will fail for sure, bud nvm, at least can get some happy meals AGAIN. =p.

k la, Wed was wonderful, i woke up and watched the return leg of Villarreal and Arsenal. yeah, it was worth it! the villarreal players were as usual, diving like hell again, crap man. and they had plenty of chances to be honest, and they spurned them all. Then in the last min, a blatant dive earned then an outrageous penalty. After all the hard work of defending for 89mins, the 1-0 lead we had from last wk, they could take the tie into xtra time if they equalised, and who doesnt score from a penalty in professional football. Well, up stepped their captain, and our goalie SAVED IT.OMG. well, that's EXACTLY why he is Germany's number 1. and his heroics led us to the final in Paris on May the 17th. and after the final whistle was blown, i was soooooooo happy. i jumped a couple of times and screamed out loud HDB-style in the break of dawn. man did it feel good. My, Ive been an Arsenal supporter since P6, and it has been a thrilling ride, from the unbeaten season in 2003-04, from the change of style - frm the team which used to eek out 1-0 results, so the wonderful free-flowing game that we play now. from having the wonderful defenders to seeing players like Henry and Pires mature.the euphoria when we beat manchester, And its such a pity, we're leaving the wonderful stadium for a much better one nxt season. bud the final will be great one.

Arsenal v Barcelona.

and im sure James lee was also as elated as me when his Barcelona went to the final. yea it has been 3years of rebuilding at his side also, and equally thrilling i guess. Best of all, it wld be 2 teams of attacking football, after all the long ball defensive teams like chelsea, AC milan and Juve. and nxt, of course is the 2 best players in the world facing each other. Ronaldinho and Henry. REALLY REALLY hope Arsenal can win it. YEAH!

2006-04-21T23:28:00.000+08:00

AW yea finally rmbed to blog after bout...2wks off?
hmmmm. nxt wk is common tests le la. sigh. SO FAST.
bud nvm la. i am seriously geared up for this term, esp for the maths which hv been all so disappointing. ok Amaths la. Emaths is fine.

ANYWAY. alota things happened since i last blogged.
hmmm. ive been able to attend PE liao, and the 2.4km run didnt go quite bad, considering i havent ran in awhile, so, now just have to pray that i can edge that 5cm of so in order to get a C. and for sit and reach, prob a couple of centimetres as well. besides, with weelic always dropping stuff down his table "to help me", i've been stretching frm my seat QUITE A LOT of times, so, hopefully that wld be helpful, or else i ll not be so willing to pick things up liao. lol.

Onto tiredness. well the past few wks i hv finally managed to control my sleeping time. YEAH. so its not that bad now la n im more awake during class la. bud still, for lessons such as chemistry and ss and esp chi really still cant take it de la. lol. i mean some lessons are INDEED truly boring la. bud for geog, well dese few lessons we hv been rushing madly to the humanities room liao. for the xtra 4pts. lol. silly thing to do, bud its to make up for the marks we lost because we came back late THAT day.

hmmm, also, on Wed, got to do holy com, aik was damn nervous, and summore the majority of the things on my piece of paper were mentioned by yongkang already. lol. bud
ya managed to improvise at least. oh wells.

Wed night, was the semi finals of the champions league, with Arsenal playing villarreal in the last EVER european night at highbury. and the opponents were absolutely pathetic this time round. the first touch henry had on the ball, he was tackled 2-footed. gosh. yellow card. 2nd min only i think. then, whenever arsenal players made a slight tackle, they wld drop on their backs as if they were bamboozled, jus to waste time. total crap. and they were their own downfall la, as when their striker was really brought down by a tackle in the penelty box, instead of giving a penalty, the ref blew play on. LOL>
and then on 40mins the centre back managed to stick his leg out and nick the only goal of the game, and we are THAT close to the final now. yeah!

speaking of that, still gotta ensure 4th place, and we nd to beat spurs this wkend at Highbury. haha, jus something funny that happened during the midwk match....

....there was a squirrel on the pitch!, for at least 5mins or so, until it had to be chased off. lol. what a pity. oh well, there were many comments made in the press about the squirrel, bud the only thing i hv to say, to all spurs fans, is that, "the squirrel gets to play champions league football". AHA!

2006-04-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

wah,it has been quite an eventful day indeed.

p.s. Skip the whole chunk below if you know nuts about soccer.
It started at 3. AM. yes. i managed to wake up again, albeit sleeping at 10 on Wednesday night. Why? obvious la hor, to watch the return leg against juventus, bud this time over in italy. And, to be fair, their stadium might be big, but the atmosphere was pathetic, nothing like that in england. cldnt hear much fan chants at all. and the stadium was pretty empty. like hello? 2 of the best teams in Europe playing for a place in the last 4 of the elite competition and this is the kind of atmosphere. sigh. oh well. the match went on well for Arsenal, deir defence held VERY tight, and we continued to frustrate the Old Lady, and we really shd hv scored one or 2 on the breakaway. oh well. 0-0 on the night, bud the 2 goals scored at highbury were enough to bring us through to the semis, and the finals beckon now, with the huge fortune we hv had in avoiding the other big teams.
So its
Arsenal v Villareal and
Barcelona v Milan.
Well. gotta focus back to the league, and this weekend will be THE biggest test yet la. Manchester away, man wouldnt it be great if we could end the title race by beating them. every chelsea man mus be supporting us this weekend man. lol.
Those who skipped, can START reading here.

k la, so i went to school with only the best part of 4.5hrs of sleep. my am i riding my body's limits. bud thankfully the first few periods were not the "sleepable" kind, physics in the lab and then geog TEST. so of course cant sleep la. lol.

Then, it was PE. finally i ran after [not slacking bud] forced absence for a month of so. running is tough indeed la, and i was really struggling and struggling. bud still managed to at least keep running and not stop la, xcept when i run up the stairs. Then, at the last lap, when i was with junjie going up the stairs, i dunno why one of my lungs or my heart started feeling sooo painful. wah i got so worried, and then i thought, better not ride my luck, and so i slowly strolled back to sch. sigh, hope will be fresh enough for the 2.4km la. yep. along with that, i tink i really cramped up my left knee, and now its jus sooo unbearable whenever i stretch the kneww joint. ya, and now HOW THE HECK am I going to show my juniors how to execute drills tomorrow. sigh, and to make things worse the other NCOs including Jufri are all taking the sec2s and 3s for CPL and SGT tests. well....solo-ing is still fun la. =)

Sigh, then after sch. we went for lunch, and we were late for geog la. dammit, cos the grp marks. felt damn bad la. yea. tink, frm now on, gotta start changing our ways, instead of being late for this and that. I mean friendly tchers like ernest and allison can late abit, bud theresa is sure not one to play with. <--------This is the respect i hv for tchers. =).

Then, stopped by a shop near my hse and bought a bottle of cranberry juice for my dad. Its his birthday! and its such a pity mom aint here, cos she has to leave to see grandma in Penang incase anything serious happens to her, so she d b there to see her. sigh. pray for them all la.yea, time passes and it takes alot with it.

But right now,
There's just too much, that time cannot erase.

2006-03-31T22:43:00.000+08:00

yea, surprise surprise, bud i tink this has been a MAGNIFICENT week.
haha. for once, i finally felt there was much FREE TIME. yes, free time, during the wkdays. Monday was wonderful, cld leave straight away. and then tues day only had 1 xtra lesson, maths, and i am starting to like amaths now! lol. I mean sometimes the lessons are indeed, tiring, bud at least i am willing to do the hmk, unlike emaths which is so totally wasting paper, esp now with the transformation qns. ya.

Another thing is, ive managed to slp before 12 every night, and i guess i am very rejuvenated when i wake up, although it seems helpless once lessons start. ANYWAY.tink my skin is slowly slowly getting better, the itch to scratch is getting less apparent, and even when i do [which is QUITE inevitable], it doesnt bleed as much as it used to la. the ones on my arm and back are healing real fast. ah. Thank God for that!

Hmmm, on thursday, VERY LONG day. ended with chinese xtra lessons. and seriously, i was wondering why she was making such a big fuss of it and asking us to buy an entire bk, as if this is some everyday lesson like that. We only hv it fornightly la, damn it, how much crap can possibly be forced into our heads. ?. The way it seems, i tink she is being really moody at times, and on Wednesday, she totally ruined my mood after the ecstacy from the early morning. really. and i thought i was down as ever that day. stupid CME. stupid form tcher la, cant she let mrs goh do the talking. I mean, i admit her current affairs discussions are intriguing indeed. The talks about physical abuse on students and the responsibility of teachers are um, not to say GOOD, bud worth listening la. better than other chinese tchers, who crap about the topic and worst, either chinese history or wonderful sceneries. I mean all dese are things much better said in ENGLISH> yeah.

Speaking of that, i was thinking what subjects i would do in JC [that is IF i can get into one, lol]. yea. as of now. Physics is a must. the 2 maths as well. NOT chinese. yalor. then bio DEF doesnt appeal to me at all. chem seems tough la. Humanities, i was tinking, ive had enough of history la. too much memorising. honestly, i'd very much like to take a literature-related subject. yea that would be good. can help to understand feelings and perhaps help in law.

Ok jus a sideways thought. Anyway, Wednesday morning was a great morning. I slept at 945 on tues night, and im sorry to you, bud soccer rules over everything la. lol. And so it was yet another Champions League night, and very possibly the last at Arsenal's current stadium. Juventus, Italian champions were pretty much favourites to progress. After, it is their extremly tight defence that has been their key. And even in my previous entry, i said that any Italian team would be tough. Yet, they did it. 2 goals on the night, splendid ones i should add, 2 sending-offs of a frustrated LOSING team, a suspension for Vieira for the return in Turin, and best of all, the coming of age of a wonderful 18-year-old in Fabregas. Yes, indeed it was worth waking up for, it was a glorious night for Arsenal, for english football, for attacking football. And, they have now put themselves in a fantastic position to have one final European night, in the semi-finals. Just sit back, relax, and attack on the break, and i'm sure Arsenal will come out on top after 2legs, and we'll see what Vieira has to say. Regret? He's gotta b feeling it now. haha.

Okok, this is getting long, bud i shall end of with today. ya we had the loci test just before recess. I was praying so hard that it would not be "another of those". there hv been so many emaths test which i hv remarkably been able to screw up %$@#*&. yea. and when mr tan said that we needed to "explore all possibilities", i dunno why it kept running through my head during the test. I was pretty shaky during the test la, and when ur hand is shaky its jus so difficult to pin the compass down to the paper. lol. btw i started with the last qn first, since i expected that the easiest was usually left for last. well anyway it was quite ok la. After that, i managed to calm down, thankfully. should be an OK test la.

CCA was great la, taught the juniors [or the KIDS in Arkar's vocabulary, lol] the static drills. although they sucked at it [like DUHH]. nvm. made alota funny comments throughout the training, so it was rather "lax" la. then hen it needed to get serious a couple of $@#%^$ children jus cldnt stop fidgeting which so pissssssed me off. so we set up a "timer zone" whr pple had to suspend their arms if they did not shount properly. so fun la. then in the end got too pissed off until had to resort to pumping. 15. not bad la. doubt leroy can do much more. =p.
Hiaz, its such a pity we hv to pass out by the 21st. Training was finally starting to be fun man.

k la, now that I have more time, shall try to get back to normal as much as possible. Sigh, ive neglected alot of things, erm, playing soccer with my neighbours on Saturday mornings is an example, as well as the few pple i hv started to neglect. aiya. this is such a rush-term, things are being continually dumped at us, yes, even the kitchen sink. lol.
I'll try la k, I promise i will.

2006-03-21T21:39:00.001+08:00

Ah, before we could think about how to rest for the holidays, its back to school time already. yea, i suppose that is the tough life of a student nowadays. Ive been feeling the stress in term 1 la. think ive buckled. after, the unhappiness of our new form teacher and another science teacher, and of course stupid eczema, which has really pissed me off for the rest of the term. yea. then the results, which aint gd as well. man. there is a lot to make up. and i am feeling stressed once again.

sigh. my skin aint getting better i tink. now that ive stopped taking steroids, it seems to b getting worse again. or at least i tink its my own problem, then again maybe not. Aiya, thing is, it itches terribly, and it just pisses me even more when people keep telling me "not to scratch", and to control myself. yes, thanks for being concerned, really. BUT, if u were in my shoes, i tink u'd find it hard not to scratch the countless number of bites over my body. [ok it is around 70. YES. try counting those u can see on my legs n arms n use proportion, lol] yala, and the scratching really aggravates it, by infecting it further. the pus used to keep oozing out. now there's no more of that la. bud now its bleeding occasionally. there are 2 on my neck now. if it gets to my face, i tink i can take a very long holiday liao la. WIll it ever go away?
And i was thinking, if it keeps on staying, then i ll get to skip the tough NS work. haha. silly thought, bud really i am not in the best of moods right now, these days. yea i pretty much seem normal in school, bud i tink occasionally one can spot the tiredness in me la. thats self-control. now if only i cld apply that to controlling the ITCH.

Im tired, really tired. when i sleep late, i feel a lil tired in school. When i slp early [bout 1030~11?], i wake up so sleepy and always sleep in class. I tink. mr tan has seen me sleep countless times during maths lessons. He has seen me not do homework, or copy examples into my notebk, countless number of times [yes if u noe me thats my "stop-at-2" policy]. yet, he never says a bad thing about me. haha. at least i dun tink he has. and when junjie was so badly scolded for erm something that is not serious at all, something that i didnt even take down, i felt really lucky. irony of life. yes.

And jus to set the record straight, EVERY teacher has enquired about my skin and wished me well except for ONE. yes its THAT one. she hates me. i think. Well. to be honest, im a study-at-home guy, so i really dun mind sleeping through alot of those boring lessons. we ll see la.

This weekend there is camp. at least can finally have some...fun? yea. there is alot of homework due la. sht la and from now on mr tan demands maths homework to be done. i think he let me off today when he heard [he surely must have] my telling JJ something on the line of "why need to do", and i saw him stare at me for awhile. ah. lucky me again.

Haha. everyone is only human la. i tink, i am really in a tough tough situation now, and it is, partly my fault. gotta dig deep, try to dig myself out of a few troubling things, and get the results right, and then move on from there. nvm, thankfully, my social life is still fine, yea, and i have great friends. and i really appreciate them. now, jus gotta pull myself through with faith. =)

I mean, yea, chelsea, the dominating force in england, have, recently looked like a bunch of sore losers, something solidified after their shock defeat on Sunday, with their world-class defender sent off as well. haha, delight for all Arsenal ManU and Liverpool fans la. bud yea. no one is perfect la, so, chelsea will eventually dig their way out and end the season on a high. so will Arsenal. and i ll try too.

MAYBE I SHOULD TRY TAKING COFFEE.

2006-03-13T17:35:00.000+08:00

A SMALL STEP FOR BARCELONA, A GIANT LEAP FOR FOOTBALL.

Oh yea after a massive week of football, it is Chelsea's exit at the hands of Barcelona that has emerged as the main story, after all the gamesmanship from their manager, playing on a potato field, sending his team late out for kick-off, and trying to specifically kick Barcelona players to disrupt their flow, it is, class that has triumped over crass. That money cannot buy trophies, that the beautiful game should be played flowingly like a Barcelona, Lyon, or arsenal, and not boringly like Chelsea, or [and i dare say] liverpool.
And what does our dear Special One say?

"The better team lost"

Sour grapes.....my lad.

As so, it was delightful to see my Arsenal back to form, after a 4-0 away win at fulham, followed by holding real madrid to a draw and going through to the quarters, and then sweet delight as we beat liverpool, albeit a blunder of monumental proportions by their captain. Ironic isnt it, the best player on ur team, ends up being the one who lets them down. Well anyway, we are playing beautiful football, and if u saw the first goal, it was pure class.And also, it was such a coincidence, that, on thursday i nd not go for X country cos i cldnt afford to sweat too much, so i cld watch the massive clash at Highbury that morning, where pple say it is the "best 0-0 in recent times"

OK, ENOUGH ABOUT SOCCER.
Its the holidays, and monday is 3/4 gone already, [serious its almost 6pm], lol. today was pretty much wasted at sch for the march games thingy, playing chi chess. haha did manage to win a couple of games. lost 1 big time though. well at least we are guaranteed 2nd place i tink. sian, then tmr also got eng lesson, whr we nd to do a full paper. yes thats 1hr 40min + 1hr 45min. gosh. waste time la.
k, better go for a swim la, haha. its the only exercise i hv after all. =)

you know it makes sense.

2006-03-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

Something is very weird with this blog, i notice. Whenever i come n see my own tagboard or whatever, the font colour of my entries seem to alternate between red currant and black. Jus how is it happening man. zzz

OK, its been a terrible week. period.
Results-wise, this has got to be a catastrophic "fall from grace" as they call it.
Well, gotta accept it la. There have been terms where everything has worked out for me, and i admit for those terms [practically the whole of last yr] it wasnt hard work bud average work plus studying-smart plus luck. So i guess, all these is all part of life. In footballing terms, ive really taken my foot off the pedal and slid away, and jus as well, the luck has dried up. <-----I'll come back to this

Anyway. If you don't know, ive amazingly managed to screwed
up bio, emaths, even geography>?! along with the super tough english.
All in the same term. sigh.
this is just so not the consistency that ive took so long to build up. And i was always thinking how i would react should such a thing happen, since like last year. ya. how did Arsenal react when they falled short of the half century? Gotta learn frm that. lol. i tink this term, too many tests i have thought it would be easy and that nothing "too difficult" could be tested. well truth to speak, it was quite ok with Amaths. emaths has been my weakness la, so its still acceptable la, bud geog ! argh.

K. so i can finally "continue" this post since my computer is working [at least for now la]. yea. so all results are back le. suck la. so my only A1s are physics, chem, history and ss and amaths. which means that amounts to an L1R5 of 11 or 12. well. what to do. anyway, this term on, i don't really care about marks already la. its the grade that matters.
[the marks matter when everyone is getting poor grades].
{they don;t when everyone is getting A1s].
haha. k la, bud i have to say, i am pleased with the A1 for chemistry la. i think this term, chemistry was a pretty challenging test la. i mean it had many thinking questions, some needing a lil bit of general intelligence. er. dats the best description of it la. lol.
Well, the lost 5marks on the catalyst part, bud still managed to get an A1 overall. phew.
[yes i noe i dun hv to emphasise that jaslyn, bud i still will]
i guess, in particular, cos of the "bad blood" i have with ms goh as well, i mean u can understand what it is like to be a teacher and the student u hate still does well. er. lol.

hmmmm, bud on friday i was feeling really guilty. I guess i ll try to put the hatred away and focus on doing well for subject itself. same goes to all the tiny grudges i hv here and there. accept and get on with it. yea.

Moving on, i finally got some medication on Wednesday after going to NSC. so now im on steroids and anti-biotics, bud at least the rashes are drying up, and that it the best i could wish for la. cos b4 that, life was so tough, i had to write with extreme discomfort to prevent getting the pus on my paper, and i had to wear old long-sleeve clothes at home to prevent staining my bed and sofa, and even then once in awhile blood would ooze out as well. considering that, the fact that i still managed to do well for history with all these handicaps, lol. shd b testament [or testiment?] to my skill at combined humans. =p
Well, would also like to thank all who wished me to get better, as well as all those who prayed for me during last wk's caregrp. it was really touching. i am emotional as you know. [a typical football fan is la....haha]

Friday, managed to take squad, and it was quite exciting la, i mean nd not b such high standard since its not cadets in uniform, bud it was nice shouting here n dere n asking them to be "on their butts down". haha.

Now to soccer, and next wk i truly hope Arsenal can hold off madrid at London, and that chelsea wld b taught [or "teached" if ure Beckham, i mean can u believe his english was so poor?] a harsh lesson by the brilliant barcalona with their stars of ronaldinho, messi and deco. To the other match, arsenal hv a 1-0 luxury to take home, and with this the last season at Highbury, beating madrid here would really b a landmark achievement. I tink, apart frm the Italian teams like milan or juve, arsenal can b a match for ANYONE, yes that includes barca. k la, finally got it posted. yea! the long-awaited post it here. lol.

2006-02-17T22:40:00.000+08:00

THE STORM IS OVER

yea only my 4th post, and its way into term 1 already. imagine jus 2 more terms like that n we'll b rushing for prep prelims n prelims. then soon D-Day will arrive. lol. the teachers all say that the syllabus can be finished by end of term 2, and i must say, that is absolutely ludicruous. so many topics to go in emaths, my word. and Amaths? still got so much of calculus, and have the school forgotten MATRICES? sighh. its no wonder mr tan is in stress. and i am worried too. better start revising all the previous topics la, esp for bio whr there r so many factual topics, and geog. and im seriously aiming to spot qns for humanities. With Emaths being anything, its crucial that i get any A1 that is easy to get.

Wow, what a, "stressful" start, bud thankfully common tests are over already. Its been such a draining 2wks for me. I slept at 130 before history test, at 0200 before bio, and being v tired during class for at least 1 period la. This jus cant continue, bud the fact is that i hv poor self-control. I keep on saying i wun sleep late, bud i never [not sleep late]. I always say i ll keep games to the daytime on wkdays, bud sometimes dey jus seem to stretch [into the night]. Its hard to believe, i still seem to study enough, well, just enough, when others r finding it very busy as well. I really think im as lazy as anyone can be in the class la. i seem to spend so much time on the computer, and when im off it im tired. tired. worse still, PE sure didnt help. now my ribcage feels so pressed-in that it "bites" at me whenever i laugh too much. well, blessing in disguise?

Anyway, i really feel the sch's policy of common tests are poorly carried out la. i mean look at geog, how can we take it on wk6 mon and classes like 4/6 n 4/2 take in on wk7 fri. isnt that too much of an advantage? i mean apart frm the leaking of answers, isnt the time diff bad enough? unfair enough? well i guess mrs lawrence is right in saying there r going to be many things in life which are going to be unfair. and we just got to live with it. Like i said, if they carried out the O lvls in 10wks, 1 exam per wk. even if it starts in September, we wld all be very well-prepared student. That i am sure. and its true, its this huge series of continuous tests which make us "mug". dunno what dey r trying to achieve man.

Well, apart from all that, i am glad to declare that throughout those 2wks, till this wed after physics test, i never played any games, n dat ll prob b my longest hiatus for quite some time. thats right, no DOTA or NFS, or even my beloved FIFA. bud anyway, im still watching the football. it was such a bittersweet valentines day when Arsenal were snatched of a pt when liverpool scored LATE LATE into the showpiece, and it was such a great perf. frm deir goalkeeper, saving a penalty as well. sigh. now dey really have to find a way to put real madrid under pressure.

Hmmm, i got the "Because of you" piano notes frm my neighbour, and i ll try playing it to calm myself down once in awhile to prevent overheating. lol. speaking of that, my computer is so #$#%$@% PROBLEMATIC. always hangs halfway. WTH man and dad said hv to wait till July till can change one frm his office. LONG WAIT. darn. oh well, continue slacking n publish the post while the computer is surviving. =)

2006-02-10T20:43:00.000+08:00

TWTWTW is abbrev. for:
THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS

Haha, what a crazy week it has been for me, from staying up late and feeling so sleepy in class jus to force every bit of knowledge into my brain, to the gory visit to the dentist.
WHAT A WEEK.

Ok to address first things first, the big issue today, is that of the release of O lvl results for our seniors, and chinese for us. haha, i never really expected much from the test, and tip to everyone: don't bother betting with me for anything chinese related.
cos i always win the bets.um so if u think of it the converse should be true too! bud that wld mean im boasting, which is so me, what the heck. lol think i won a bet of sher han, and 2 happy meals frm naomi whr i get to keep the toy! dats so. er. lol.
bud away from the funny stuff, fact is i got a B3 for chinese, and although i have always sucked in chinese, it is still a setback. well, i guess i never really felt anything bad about that grade, in contrast to, erm other people, bud anyway, it has still reminded me that nothing is going to be easy for the O's, and although everything seems to be going well for me outside of chinese, i must not let off and fall during the run-in to the exam. yea, also, i really pity those people hu got A2 la. i can only imagine how pissed i would be if i got A2 for a physics or a chemistry.

yea and this week was also the start of common tests, with geography and EM on monday. the splash n using of ur common sense helped alot in geog, where i cldnt believe i wrote a phrase "the bigger they are, the harder they fall" in one qn on how come the poverty cycle repeats itself. really screwed up emaths la, the last qn never even do cos i din understand the DAMN qn. lol. speaking of that i so wanted to curse mr tan for setting such a qn.and then, he hasnt come for the past 2 days, and things seem so different with him. when it was known that he has some problems with his heart [im sure its benign], i really wish him well. Today before the Amaths test, when geography had just ended, Huimin passed me this card where we wld write our best wishes to mr tan, and the first thing that came to my mind was............that i would dedicate the Amaths test to him. bud then fear and anxiety came into my mind. I really have been such a hit-and-miss at recent maths tests, and it has often been scrappy marks ive achieved. fearing that i wun do well, i decided not to write that anymore. well it seems life always finds a way to make u feel remorse for what you have [or have not] done. and the Amaths test was, for the first time in a long, long time, one where i managed to complete the test with full confidence even before the aftermath "sharing of answers and feeling the AGONY and ECSTASY". lol. too influenced by mrs lim. bud to be honest the test was rather less difficult than previous ones, and besides it didnt contain any visualization qns such as PnC or graph sketching or geometry [i SUCK at those by my standards]. k la sometimes i always expect too much of myself, but being someone hu is supposed to b gd at maths and with my dad having the occupation he has, jus cant disappoint anyone man. tough life.

And the past week has been terribly irritating in terms of the rashes on my body. it has grown significantly worse since i last blogged and is sometimes really getting on my nerves. i totally lost it on on thursday when i was finding difficulty with a bionomial qn and the bites itching so much. before i knew it dere were spots of blood on my left arm.
More was to come, on Thursday i also had a terrible trip to the dental. i bled so much that i was feeling sour for the rest of the day la, and i even got so worried that swallowing too much of ur own blood might be harmful, that i even asked mr yu that. lol. bud alas there was great news, something apparently CROPPED up with our chem tcher n combined with other fortuitous events, meant that we need not stay back for ANY extra lesson. isnt that such a blessing? lol.

Well. havent been talking about football, which there hasnt been much significant, except for Chelsea v Liverpool. although chelsea won, their star player Robben dived to cause a player to get sent off. and the manager's reaction was such a comedy. lol. kk enough of that. time to focus on next wk;s tough exams [besides chinese DUH].
Like i said, i ll fight like mad to do well for the sciences, esp CHEMISTRY.

you know it makes full sense.

you are NOT the special one.

2006-02-01T22:30:00.000+08:00

Opening word:
Ok, its all black from now on. the other colors [u noe this word is so frustrating cos stupid MSword keeps automatically changing it for u when u type "colours" - the correct version at least for an O lvl compo] dun really blendin with the background la. haha.

Now to start the entry. wah. its really been a tough few days of new year. and to be honest its been a quite suay one la. Firstly, my computer crashed down on me on Friday night! [omg too much of a coincidence ba!], and now its back up, bud it will automatically reboot if i dare to try and play "memory-taxing" games such as FIFA or NFSMW. i wonder, does a PS2 or XboX ever breakdown? its gotta b such a gd investment if the answer is no. yala.

Then, on friday night as well, i realised, i forgot to take my neat n wonderful and uniquely [it is CORRECT spelling] orange, geography file. DAMN! We had to do 2 worksheets n we had 4days and WTH?! I cant do it! for a moment i thought of asking a classmate to scan for me or something, before the thought hit me that i have never, and will never be such a hardworking person! haha. so i ended up worrying up all the rest of the new yr, lol. no la the guilt dried up after the first [friday] night although it came back ytd night. uh my mind is very synchronised.

Following that, on Saturday night, after staying up for the nian chu yi and all that, Arsenal were miserably dumbed out of the FA cup, the holders! dumped out. argh. that makes it 2 competitions in a wk! goodness. now they should beat Real Madrid bud they wun win the champions league, so for the first time i recall, they aint goin to get a single trophy this yr! one word: CRUD [flip-inspired. lol.]

Worse was yet to come. On Sunday, we went to visit my parent's old friend in his HDB flat. and we parked in a very, desolated carpark down below. Halfway while visiting, we heard a [not loud] bud [louder than average] sound, and when we looked out of a window, some greenhorn neophyte could try to park next to our car [which was 3wks old ONLY] instead of all the other empty spaces available, most likely as dere was a tree nearby, for shade. and he hit his rear bumper and caused a huge dent into the front, fortunately the light was not smashed. Amazingly, he drove away. waddehell la. i managed to snap a picture of that with my camera phone, and we went to file a police report, bud i cant think what the police can do la, since the car number plate wasnt snapped, my camera phone not that gd la. bud anw, with the report and everything, at least we cld claim insurance. i was so caught up in the heat of the moment la, and then i was cursing away madly in the car. my parents did not try to scream at me although im sure i wld hv regretted them all the more if they had. well. at least i knew that.

K la, bud in the evening, i watched tennis with my mom, the Australian Open final between Roger Federer the world no.1 and an unknown player frm Cyprus. wah it was such an epic match, with the unknown player starting off superbly taking the first set n breaking to lead 2-0 in the 2nd set, bud the way federer fought back was jus so amazing, he was so calm n composed and he won in 4sets. when he won he jus clenched his fists, not like other greats who scream in "anguish" or drop to their knees, bud when he was presented with the trophy, he was so emotional, and he even cried, telling his opponent "i hope u noe how much this means to me", and it was such a touching moment, that even tears welled up in me! nervous action ba. lol. and i ll try my best to be as composed as i can in the future la. i noe i hv a very volatile temper, bud i ll try my best to resist it, and i hope my continuous persistance will improve that, as well as through reading the bible and receiving more and more of Him.

Well, to end, guess I have been able to make this blog public cause unlike last yr, where i was so easily stressed up by a simple geog exam, or "screwing up" a maths test by my standards, some social problems or swearing madly when Arsenal dun play well or when i suck at a FIFA game, i think i have been able to curb most of that le la. so i ll spew out less repulsive profanities, and end up jus simply blogging....

Till then, really hope the incessant bites and infections appearing on my skin will go away. I really nd some1 to introduce me to skin lotions of what have you [ok besides those frm body shop. haha] . look forward to blogging soon, and HAPPY NEW YEAR to one and all, although some may question the auspiciousness of this since it is in BLACK font. yep.

p/s If you notice, the title of this entry has nothing to do with the post!
you know it makes sense. =)

New year's resolution.

2006-01-31T00:27:00.000+08:00

kk, so it has taken more than awhile, but overcoming "tough sch conditions", [or extreme laziness to be simplified], yea this new blogskin is finally up, and public. yeh! haha.

so, i mentioned in my previous entry [which u all can't find anymore], that i will make my new yr resolution and whatever that assosiates with the [non-chinese] new year, in this entry. so i guess in conclusion, ive got my chinese n standard [non-chinese] calendar messed up. wadeva.

hmmm, the year has been quite ok up till now, with the teachers mostly the same xcept for bio, geog [both of which hv been such a breath of fresh air to the class], and the despicable language chinese. of course, the long-going problem of chemistry is still on[going], bud what to do, jus gotta bear with it [dun even think about adapting]. lol. couple of wks ago, our principal gv us a prep talk about o lvls as well, and how diff it is to enter all the top JCs. man. totally reminded me of the tough reality that is NOW.

Bearing in mind the location of my hse and accessiibility, the only nearby JCs which might appeal are AND jc and RJC. sigh. i came into this sch with the hope of goin into either NJC or victoria, whr u dun really nd to work THAT hard to get into, bud now i guess its RJC or bust la [no offence to AJC, lol]. ya, and to get RJC mrs poh said we nd 4or 3pts, which is sooooooo tough. ugh. so ive made my resolution, and that is to get 8pts. i.e. 5pts for R5 and then allow up to B3 for my english, yea its a tough language as well, with the exam format. so next resolution: improve my english.ya reading is the key, so i guess i ll cont to take pleasure in reading, of course not 1hr a day la. lol. crazy tchers. bud hey! watching soccer and listening to english comentary is oso hlpful man.

also now to the other aspects of my life, and esp to do with my watching of soccer on TV. really i dunno why the football assosiation cant schedule matches earlier to our comfort, idiots. so much so that it was such a pleasure to see them stay up so late when the world cup was held in Japan n south korea during 2002. Anyway, i will not watch matches which end later than 1am, if the next day is a school day. Its really time to make full use of the dvd recorder that i have, so i ll prob jus time it to record the last 15mins or so of matches so i can watch them the nxt morning before i go to sch. haha. and for champions league matches i ll VERY RELUCTANTLY record the post-match round-up and watch them the next day. [imagine barcalona-chelsea and arsenal-real madrid not watched live. OMG] lol.

Next, stop the swearing and control MY volcanic-like temper. Man that's jus the thing that i soooooooo hate myself for la. the times when my mind goes insane n makes my mouth spew things which i always regret sooner or later. ok perhaps not much in sch, bud alot at home or when unfortunate things happen to me. speaking of that, my computer jus broke down again, think its down to a short-circuit again. aii.well anyway it mus b a sign that im playing way too much dese days. boy am i feeling tired now as well.

yea guess i ll continue some other day, im so not used to blogging, or rather due to the LACK of blogging for the best part of 1mth. haha. entry CLOSED/
.period.